Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

:-). That's brilliant!

I think this is a good example of how reasonable adjustments cannot always be made despite an apparently 'modern' bhilding

Was it built in the 80s?

The bit of the shop that is inaccessible, simply cant be made accessible. Theres no way to put a lift in for that bit and you cant get to the bit of that shop from the top of the overall shopping mall using their lifts.

A building doesnt have to be listed to be inaccessible and for there to be no remedy

I suppose technically the remedy here is to close the bookshop section of the store. Then the whole of HMV is accessible, complying with the law.

100% of humans will experience disability either temporarily or permanently if they live long enough. Those who don't are those who die before they get old enough for that to happen.

OP already made the point that these were not listed buildings.

If a venue is big enough to be a cafe, restaurant or pub, then it should be wheelchair accessible - if its not, it isn't a suitable venue in the first place.

Old buildings just don't have the space or structure to be adapted most of the time. I find I have no difficulty in more modern buildings. If I'm not sure I call first - some places have made adaptations to accommodate me as you don't know until you ask.

I think your thread is really clever and it made me empathise a lot better actually. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, places should be more accessible.

I completely agree with this 👏

People without mobility issues have to phone ahead (if eating in my case).

I check, because I dont want to waste my time, why would I.

Not everyone, can access or do everything. It doesnt exist in life.

Lots of women on here dont have to imagine it as we lived it.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/videos/cg66lv5lekko

YABU for the weird comparison which doesn't really work.

YANBU for the principle; I work with a wheelchair user and have been horrified by the barriers faced for team lunches etc. A venue is only ever booked following a phone call, and questions include needing to check that their disabled loo is actually in their premises (after one booking where colleagues was told the accessible loo was over the road in another pub...).

Also booked one place and confirmed the day before about accessibility requirements only to find on arrival that we'd been given an upstairs table (no lift). Cue them moving a whole load of diners about to give us the accessible table we'd booked and confirmed.

And that's before even starting on public transport issues.... working closely with a wheelchair user has been a total eye opener. I'd had no idea what madness it is in this day and age, had genuinely assumed this kind of stuff was a thing of the past.

I thought it was a very clever way too illustrate the issue, op.
The way disabled people are treated in society, is absolutely awful.
I dont go to town or to eat ever now, I'm not disabled but I can't get my pram into most places in town without help. We can't even fit on some pavements. Noone so much as holds a door. Every trip I think how horrendous it must be to face these issues as a disabled person

I was baffled till you explained OP. But it's really shit that that happened to you.

YABU - it is not clear what point you are trying to make.

This is a great and powerful analogy. I don’t really understand why people are finding it confusing.
I’m sorry that able-bodied (sorry if that’s not the right term) is the default. Public places should be accessible to everyone.

Such a good point. I work with disabled people, and you really do have to meticulously plan absolutely every outing. People don't always realise how inaccessible a lot of places are. Even places that seem accessible don't always have the right space to turn in the toilet, or have lips that wheelchairs can't get over. I can imagine it must be exhausting having to call ahead to every single place you go, and not being able to just "have a wander" around and find somewhere you fancy.

I have a friend with several food allergies and it's bad enough trying to find somewhere to go for lunch with her to somewhere that can cater.
Being disabled is exhausting enough and I do wish places were more accommodating.

The only time I think it's difficult is where a building can't (or can't easily) be changed to be made accessible, but when new places open it's got to be a consideration. You have my sympathy and although the analogy is a bit strange, it does make you think.

Because people seem to have a different idea of what ''accessible'' means. OP has probably had similar experiences to me, asking if somewhere is accessible, saying yes and then turning up to find that it isn't very accessible at all.

I'm not talking about obvious things such as steps or no lifts, less obvious things that aren't always thought of when the majority of people aren't disabled.

Very good point. People with food allergies have to check in advance, it’s a phone call - most places need a phone call to make a reservation anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Clear as mud

Please edit your original post so we know what your analogy is actually about

Sounds really shit. Are there no regulations?

I’m sorry you had that experience OP and wonder where it was? It’s a while since I’ve been in a pub without an accessible loo. A small local cafe perhaps.

Did you end up just sitting in the park drinking cans of cider instead op😂

Life as a disabled person is tougher. I had no idea until a relative has little mobility and use walking aids but cannot walk very far or do steps.
We ring ahead everywhere to check toilets, parking, seating availability even then plans falls apart.

Because if you just ask if its accessible, you'll often be told yes - and not told that this is on the basis that someone with a child in a tiny manual chair got in there once, five years ago... and they have forgotten that this was a tiny chair, or that they had to be lifted over a lip in a doorway, or that one half of the double doors does not in fact open..

So then you show up and the door is not wide enough and there is a lip that will either damage you or your chair..

Or you show up and yes, its accessible.. if you can just levitate down these three steps.. then through this narrow fire door, then up three more steps (that was an accessible hotel room! So called because it had a grab rail in the loo)...

Or its accessible but only if the manager who holds the key to the double doors is there, otherwise they only open the one half...

I have turned up and latterly, rung back to double check, on so many occasions now to find that what i was told was not the truth, I have lost count!

Do you live in Bath @Mrsmunchofmunchington ?

I think its small things that arent part of the usual understanding of accessible. For me, I struggle to open and shut doors, due to the weight and muscle control, some doors are really heavy, turning on and off certain styles of taps. And dont get me started on fancy low lighting in some bog standard restaurants now, mkaing out they're some sort of night club. I cant see a bloody thing in the toilets. And talking of toilets I often dont have the strength to push the flush on those ones you push in.

Im not disabled, these things cause lots of people problems although obviously I can still use them