Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

So you went to 3 places without a disabled toilet ? Why didn't you just say that small cafes won't most pubs will have to make accommodations .if they are not old.

All you did was confuse everyone going on about needing a penis!

Were you trying to be witty OP? I agree that your updates don't make things clearer at all!

I'm sorry you couldn't access the restaurant- but maybe explain why? No ramps, no staff able to assist, listed building???

Accessibility is awful in this country, to live in a world that isn’t ableist and have places really think it through.

That must be very frustrating if they had space otherwise.

What was the issue? Step free/wide enough access?

What are you on about?

Not all venues are accessible, but many, if not most, are.

Not every where is going to be accessible to those with disabilities and you also need to say what you mean by disability, now that we've established you mean that, rather than your sex

Do you mean mobility, sight, hearing, MH, ND, etc etc?

Can’t work out who does/doesn’t have a penis. Should this matter over lunch though?

So you thought let’s have a go at men instead? Badly made point

Reading your updates- ynbu. If they weren't listed then they're discriminating.

You really need to be clear op trying to equate 1 with another didn't work and backfired on you, people are now confused.

I can’t think of a single cafe, coffee shop, pub or restaurant in my town that doesn’t have a disabled toilet, there’s a few shops (listed buildings) where there’s no lift upstairs though. It’s possible though at peak times not to be able to get a table with or without working legs. Even the old coaching inn circa 1650 has disabled access.

It really wasn't an illustration of anything. What a ridiculous analogy.

That is absolutely shocking and I understand your point about most people not really ‘getting’ accessibility issues.
unfortunately the repeated mention of ‘penis’ has distracted people.
I have a wheelchair-using relative who experiences this regularly when out, she uses AccessAble but it’s not comprehensive by any means.

So you are saying some cafes are not wheelchair friendly ?

yes if happens sadly

if steps
door too narrow
old building

This isnt comparable though is it?

Theres nothing about being a woman that means you would struggle to use a particular thing/building

But there are lots of reasons why a disability might mean you would struggle to access a building built when disability and accessibility was not designed for.

Its completely different

And I would say that lots of european cities and towns I have been to are far far worse than the UK

Not true.

It doesn’t have to be a listed building for it not to be discrimination, with lots of older buildings it is not always structurally possible or reasonable to make the required changes, or the planning that would be required isn’t possible, or the cost isn’t reasonable based on business size etc.

Having a disabled toilet doesn't necessarily mean you can access it as a wheelchair user. Some of them are more like a token gesture and you can't get in the building in the first place in a wheelchair

I am kind of understanding about the obstacles but I think a lot of people don't really understand what it takes to make a place actually accessible to a wheelchair user

Okay but why not just write that in the first place? You’re coming across as quite obtuse tbh.
Knowing that good advice for your specific situation would be to call ahead and ask if they have step free access or a lift or research where to go beforehand you didn’t do that for some reason.
Is it because it was a spontaneous trip?
I’ve worked with visually impaired people and they know what they need to do to be able to make a journey because they plan in advance. It’s less convenient than if you’re fully sighted but it’s built into their routine.
Again, I’m sorry you had a shit experience today.

Not necessarily. Listing is a common reason as to why a building can't be adjusted to make it accessible, but it is not the only one.

Business owners are required to make reasonable adjustments to allow for accessibility. However if these adjustments would be overly disruptive or otherwise unfeasible, for example moving toilets from the basement to the first floor, or widening all the corridors, then they are not legally required to make these changes. It should be noted that most businesses e.g. restaurants won't actually own the buildings they occupy but will rather be on a lease or rental, so they can sometimes be quite heavily restricted on what they can do.

New buildings are required to be accessible when built.

I get what you tried to do. Yes it's awful and seems to be going backwards in terms of accessibility, disabled loos being used as store rooms etc. A brand new hmv just opened with it's book section completely inaccessible to wheelchair users.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/disabled-customers-disappointment-after-being-32515506.amp

Not good enough.

I understood exactly what you meant OP, and I think it’s an excellent analogy. I’m a wheelchair user too though, so have this experience every day.

The problem is that people who can just go where they like when they like can’t appreciate how difficult it is for the likes of us.

I was at the supermarket today and the new cupboard style fridges meant I couldn’t get anything I wanted myself. There would be an outcry if women were required to ask an assistant to get all their shopping rather than be able to choose it themselves, but because there aren’t as many of us we are overlooked.

Could men without working legs access the places you went to?

I have specific food requirements and I nearly always phone ahead.

Theres nothing about being a woman that means you would struggle to use a particular thing/building

I guess if they only had urinals, but that’s unlikely.

I’m also curious that there wasn’t anywhere that was wheelchair accessible. I’m struggling to think of any town I’ve been to where the majority of places, if not all, would have had wheelchair access.

Unless you need something like a Changing Places toilet - in which case that no doubt is more difficult to find, but I’m not sure that could be enforced on small businesses.