Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

Wrong

Those of us who are not hard of reading understand her point perfectly

Edit 😂

You're determined not to read my post probably aren't you. If you did you would plainly see that this particular business has obviously not made any "assumptions" and has done nothing but seek out proper solutions! They've called in 5 lots of special consultants to draw up accessibility plans which has cost them a lot of money. A few small adjustments or a "quick fix" here and there is impossible in this particular building. And I think it's breathtakingly rude of you to call anyone "narrow minded" for trying to do their best to get things right.

As the DH of a wheelchair user, while I agree there's an issue, your way of illustrating it was as clear as mud.

Whilst his attitude is awful were you actually on the road not the pavement?
Is your scooter class 3, with lights, horn etc and are you registered with the dvla?
If not you're not legal xx

I'm disabled and a wheelchair user. But I felt your analogy was very poorly expressed and not entirely logical

I spend a lot of time raising awareness and campaigning for change but I am also a realist about the fact topography and historical buildings and environmental considerations mean this has to be a gradual shift.

It's frustrating if simple cheap tweaks can make a place accessible, but I do accept I live in the real world and not everywhere is easy or cheap to adapt

My gran has both, the electric one isn’t much bigger than her other one. I also appreciate that that are many different kinds.
My friend has a teenage child who is severely disabled and his chair is massive. So they do have to check places to make sure they have room.

My son's is smaller than an adults wheelchair but his first wheelchair was absolutely massive.

It's not the same at all.

Because many businesses are in centuries old listed buildings.

Its no different than someone with allergies having to check out restaurants first, to make sure its safe.

How are disability and penis connected ? We're you refused entry because you are disabled ? Or did you just decide not to go in ,?

I did read your post fully thanks. I have clearly touched a nerve! Without knowing the specifics of the building it hard to say. We don’t see in quick fixes, we deal with thoughtfully designed and built adaptations that work in the vast majority of buildings including many listed buildings. And in my experience it most definitely is the case that many businesses take the easiest and cheapest path without exploring what more could be done.

It's a very long thread but the update today seems to say that OP was not allowed to take her mobility scooter into the cafe/pub.

Yes, my friend doesn't just need.to know there's a gluten free menu, she needs to know it's cooked in a whole other area, that the utensils and equipment isn't used anywhere else. That they've done all they can to reduce/remove cross contaminate risk. So she calls.

Get your point and absolutely understand your frustration but maybe a bit obtuse for some in the audience.

Hrft but anything you could do about it? Was it an older town, often they take the easy way out by claiming building unable to be adapted.

But I think the point is it IS difficult. It is limiting. It prevents spontaneity. It means people with a disability have to live a less full life. Of course people with disabilities understand not everywhere can be accessible but they also expect to be able to go out with friends.

A close friend of mine uses a wheelchair. We can’t just go to the cinema or go for lunch. We have to plan these events in a way I don’t have to plan with other people. We don’t accept that for other protected characteristics but it is still socially acceptable to exclude disabled people from every day life.

I did not try to take my scooter into a pub or cafe.
And they are road legal, so you might want to rethink that position.
Plus some people get angry if you are on a pavement and frequently pavements are blocked or have no dropped kerbs.
Thanks for illustrating my point though.

No.
The scooter was a different day.
I was actually using my rollator when I couldn’t get into the pubs and cafe but it would be the same for a wheelchair user.

Well I think “u” don’t speak for everybody, just those who don’t understand my analogy.

A bit about scooters as it seems there is general misunderstanding.

Not meaning you at all asrl78 but thought I would include this when clarifying your point about speed and thank you for your support.

Road legal scooters are limited to 8 mph.

You can also buy scooters which are only for pavement use which self limit to 4mph.

I am fully insured and have an exemption from the DVLA.

It is very much regulated and correct.

I take every care and consideration when using the road or indeed the pavement. On pavements I change the speed setting to lowest so as to not bother pedestrians.

The man who called me a crippled cunt and told me I should get off the road was frustrated because he had to wait behind me for approximately 100yds due to all the parked cars on the opposite side of the road.

There was no way for me to pull in and let him past.

His rudeness was no fault of mine, though some here have assumed it must be which just illustrates the view of disabled people as of less worth, a drain, an annoyance to “normal” people.

I also have a full driving licence but can't drive anymore due to pain.

I wasn’t always disabled.

I was diagnosed with cancer aged 46 which is now terminal.

It could happen to you or your family today.

@Mrsmunchofmunchington was there not a pavement on this stretch of road? I'd find it terrifying to be on a 30mph road in such an open vehicle with a top speed of 8mph!

Not on my side no. And on the other side there is no dropped kerb at one end plus it is too overgrown in places and sometimes cars half block it.
You can't rely on being able to get off any pavement of you get on unless you know the layout and can see the full length of where you need to travel.
Yes it is indeed scary.
After being shouted at I was even more scared but sometimes, like yesterday when I needed to get to the emergency dentist and had no friends available to help and the two taxis in my area (rural) were booked I had no other option.
So I wear my hi vis, go as carefully as I can and hope I don’t get squashed flat.

Tbh it was a bloody stupid analogy. You would have had a much better, more receptive thread if you’d just told it like it is 🤷‍♀️

I do feel for you, OP but why did you not get into the cafe/pub with a rollator?

Was it that the venues had stairs or steps or the fact you had the rollator with you?

It sounded as if you were trying to enter in your scooter in other posts.

Has this happened a lot or was this the first time?

The difference is (and I say this as a disabled person) it doesn't usually require considerable expense and construction to make a restaurant accessible for someone of a different sex or ethnicity