DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

[FiddIedeedee]

DD 27 and her boyfriend (also 27) are proper home bodies. All they seem to do in their free time is go for country walks with their dogs, meals out or Sunday markets 😂

When I was in my 20s I was partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

Last weekend they baked cookies and went on a long country walk with the dogs with a pub lunch. DD spends a lot of time reading and crocheting bits here and there. The boyfriend has started furniture restoration as a hobby. They’re like an old couple honestly!

DD got annoyed with me because I said to them they need to be out enjoying their 20s (and soon 30s) and not acting like a couple in their 60s. DP says leave them be but I just don’t want them to regret not living life to the full. You’re a long time old as they say.

AIBU?

I've had far more fun and enjoyment on holiday in the UK than I ever have abroad.

Good luck to them, I say.

My mother was just like you- I got together with my OH aged 17, we went to 2 18th birthday parties and a couple of other things but we have never gone clubbing and we were home bodies even before we owned a home. I liked sewing and knitting and my OH liked mending watches and making models from the very beginning, which was 1979. We are still together, still happy and not regretful of not clubbing or getting up to all sorts.
Not everyone is the same- it sounds as if your DD and BF are like we are.

Partying, clubbing and drinking is a complete waste of your youth. Your DD sounds like she is really enjoying life rather than pissing it away.

YABVU and need to mind your own business.

They sound a lovely, wholesome young couple with their heads screwed on.

The number of parents tearing their hair out while their children drink, do drugs, get in to bad relationships or waste their time and money - and you're here complaining about your sensible, law abiding child.

What the hell is wrong with you?

You're projecting.

I think it's brilliant if they're happy with their lot. The world would be a far better place if we weren't all chasing the next sugar high. Good on them.

I've been all over the world, lived in 3 countries etc. However I think that my cousin who settled down at 21 and never left the village she grew up in is far happier than me and far more content. I now envy her 'small' life and network she has known all her life. She does not envy my disjointed 'overseas big city' life.

Sounds like a great life.

Sounds like they’re old souls, but if that’s their thing not much you can do. I do understand what you’re saying tho.

Clubbing ain't a thing like it use to be.

But they don't want to. Time to stop trying to control your DD, she's an adult and is doing what makes her happy.
Why do you have such a problem with your child being happy? Is she only allowed to live her life this same way you did? Why will she regret being happy?

Your DD sounds like my sister who turns 40 this year. She has no regrets. I think she only went to a club once in her 20's and hated it.

Exactly this
Despite Op's attitude, she appears to have done a good job on bringing her daughter up

We're all different. As long as they're both happy and make each other happy then that's all that matters.

I know some people are proper gadabouts, partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

When I was in my 20s I was going for walks in the countryside, cycling, having meals out (with the money I didn't waste on alcohol or nightclubs) and being a happy homebody

She obviously doesn't want to turn into judgemental old shrew like her mum

Those that don’t want to travel out of the UK? Why?? No judgement, I’m just genuinely curious!

For me it's something I'm just neutral on interest-wise. It's not that I don't want to do it, but equally I'm not that fussed about doing it. And then other things do interest me more, like theatre so I've been to the Ed Fringe quite a few times, and so my cultural energy (if that was a thing) goes towards those interests instead.
My parents way of holidaying involved a lot of travelling around, as they wanted to see as much as possible of wherever we went. As a travel sick kid, that meant all of those memories of the great places we went are sadly also inextricably linked to feeling like I was going to throw up for hours. I suspect there's something in that too that makes me less inclined to travel as an adult!

To put this in perspective for you, I have a family member who did all the things you wish your daughter was doing; travelling, partying, house parties, lots of drinking, some drugs… she was thoroughly miserable and took her own life at 27. Just be grateful your daughter is happy.

What a spiteful mean post. I’m glad my mum didn’t judge me, say I’m boring and encourage people to laugh at me on a public forum.

Don’t you sound the nasty judgemental … person.
You couldn’t limit yourself to “partying, clubbing and drinking wouldn’t be for me”, your disgusting superiority complex had to put on display too.

In my opinion and experience partying clubbing and (very moderate really) drinking was absolutely fantastic and 100% not a waste of my youth.
I can see young people of my own acquaintance who are like OP’s daughter, and some who definitely party, and some who are a mixture. And all options are perfectly valid.

I think you're very caring and but worrying unnecessarily. Maybe because you haven't experienced issues re. drugs, drinking, partying etc. you are not going to feel the comfort that most would feel if our children were as satisfied as yours obviously are.
If they do look back and regret not going out more, you are never too old to start but be so thankful they are where they are. You've obviously done an amazing job, you must be so proud.

There are a lot of reasons. I've never been a good traveller. As a child, I was prone to travel sickness if I went anywhere by road.
As I grew up, that problem abated slightly to be replaced by other stomach problems, plus an inability to stand in queues for long because of mobility difficulties. I don't think airports would have been great for me and I'm 61 now, so that's not going to change. If a destination is reachable by train or bus, I'm interested, but overnight stays are problematic as we have two cats and no car for transportation to a cattery.

I enjoy hearing about other people's holidays and will happily scroll through their photos, admiring the views and local cuisine, but I don't have a scintilla of jealousy or a desire to be in Rabat or Sydney, as opposed to say, Edinburgh, (somewhere I know quite well and can get to easily.)

They sound like a lovely couple.

I don’t understand why you are concerned about them “having fun” when they’re clearly enjoying life, drama free. Is it a mask for jealousy? If not, find friends who want to go out and have fun with you.

The UK is a great place to explore.

It sounds like your Daughter & her BF have a lovely life that they both enjoy. Why would you prefer for them to be out drinking & partying when they seem happy doing what they enjoy? Would you not be worried if they were out all of the time about any trouble they may get into through being drunk or being around drunk people, or the health issues associated with binge drinking? Be thankful your Daughter is happy & has someone she can spend quality time with. You never know they may change as they get older & be proper pensioner ravers lol.

I like being in different places, it's the physical journey for me. I do still travel, but I get sick on boats and find sitting on a plane for more than four hours makes me like a caged animal. Then there's all the hanging about at airports.

I'd rather hop on a train and explore bits of the UK I haven't been to. It's less faff. It's not 'being abroad' it's getting there.