DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

[FiddIedeedee]

DD 27 and her boyfriend (also 27) are proper home bodies. All they seem to do in their free time is go for country walks with their dogs, meals out or Sunday markets 😂

When I was in my 20s I was partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

Last weekend they baked cookies and went on a long country walk with the dogs with a pub lunch. DD spends a lot of time reading and crocheting bits here and there. The boyfriend has started furniture restoration as a hobby. They’re like an old couple honestly!

DD got annoyed with me because I said to them they need to be out enjoying their 20s (and soon 30s) and not acting like a couple in their 60s. DP says leave them be but I just don’t want them to regret not living life to the full. You’re a long time old as they say.

AIBU?

I thought this post was going to be about neither of them working, ordering takeaways all the time, spending money they don't have 😅 I'm sorry OP but YABVU. It sounds like they have a really beautiful life together.

Oh my god they sound AMAZING! Ecologically conscious, gentle lovely people. I wish I had spent my life this way. More power to their elbow!

They are living though! Who said going out and partying is the only way to live your 20’s? (FWIW I partied through my 20’s too)

Yabu. They sound really content and happy and chilled. Let them be - they maybe thought you wasted your youth being out partying all the time

I don’t think I’m explaining myself properly. They’re proper home bodies I don’t want them to regret not experiencing the world. I asked DD if she wanted to travel and she said they may go to Japan one day but would rather explore the U.K. at the moment. Honestly I think they’d be happy if they never left the County 😝

I had children by the time I was 27 so probably not what you want to hear but you could be a grandma soon just so you are prepared 😀

My dd is married the other dd is 27 and lives with him partner, they go to work and are not out "partying " at the weekend.

They sound great. Young people these days drink very little. My DS has a drink maybe once a month.

Walking in peak district is fab. You are being ridiculous op. They are not you .

Mothers are their daughters first bully, as they say..

I’m very glad you’re not my mother. The amount of belittling in your OP and comments is really unfair.

Well done on spending your 20’s ‘living’ - leave your DD&DP to live the way they want to. And go steady with your comments, because you might just find that one day she decides to ‘live’ without you involved.

they sound like a lovely couple who have found their person. Let them be who they are and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a poll where it’s 100%. That the OP is being unreasonable

You seem to think not going to Japan is some how a failing on their part ? Why do you think they will have regrets, you are projecting you had a "crazy time" but not everyone wants that.

Yes they don’t really drink either, just the odd glass of wine. Maybe I am out of touch 😌

Oh God please no! 😂

DS1 (21) is about to embark on country number 10 this year. He's stressing me out with his daredevil adventures! I think I'd love for him to say hes walking the dog and going to a country pub!

It would be a boring World if we all had the same interests, I'm sure they are happy and content and it's just their thing.

I don’t understand your point at all OP. You think that if they were drinking, clubbing and partying, that would be less of a waste of a life than the creative pursuits they enjoy? Are you serious?

You are painting yourself as being really narrow minded.

Not Japan as such they just don’t seem to want to leave the country!

It sounds like a lovely lifestyle. Young people don’t go out and party in the same way we did, even my 22 year old DD doesn’t go clubbing, she and her friends go for dinner or brunch and to the gym together, I’m not sure why you feel your DD is wasting her life if she is happy!

In fairness at 27, I'd stopped going clubbing! Yes, I still liked to go out for a few drinks with friends or for a meal. Do your daughter and her boyfriend go away on holiday? My only regret is that I didn't travel more, but that was to do with circumstances, rather than me wanting to sit at home. As long as your daughter and her boyfriend are happy, that's all that matters. So they're not having wild nights out, but perhaps that's not their scene. Leave them to live their own life. Perhaps it's not what you did or would want to do at 27, but it's their choice.

She’s 27 op! You don’t get to have an opinion! Unless they ask your advice that is. Not if they are financially independent anyway! They very well might regret not travelling when they had the opportunity but it’s none of your business I’m afraid.

So you are upset your DD isn't like you, although she is happy living the life she wants? You sound so unsupportive. Maybe she looks at you and thought please no, I don't want to be like her wasting my 20s clubbing and boozing or backpacking.

I had a lovely time travelling in my 20s, working abroad, lived in NYC for several years. Do you know how I did it? Bank of mum. My mum funded it all. It was expensive. She bought my tickets, sent me money to keep me going when I needed it, helped with rent when it was way more than someone on like £18k a year could afford. Have you offered to do this? Help them pay their rent or mortgage so they can go to Thailand for a month? Help set them up in a little flat to do a stint working in Australia?

Definitely by our late 20s though, Dh and I were solidly enjoying pub lunches and walks, did lots of camping holidays, walking holidays in North Wales. Staying in cooking a meal, going to the garden centre, Dh did in fact take up woodworking. 🤣 This was nearly 20 years ago and we weren’t wildly different from our other late 20 something friends, though we did plenty of exciting stuff before that.

Wow, judgemental much? I opened the post expecting it to say something along the lines of "DD sits at home drinking too much wine infront of the TV while BF games all night and smokes weed" but it sounds like they're living a perfectly fulfilling life? They both sound active if they're going for country walks regularly and BF is learning useful woodworking skills.

I don't smoke, I don't drink and going to clubs and bars when I was younger was the epitome of a boring night out; not everyone feels the same way and it sounds like they're happy.

What a strange post.

You sound extremely closed-minded. As if you can't comprehend that different people enjoy different things. That sort of monovision is much more boring than young people going for a walk.

This^
I didn’t do much clubbing in my youth, that’s just didn’t happened for various reasons including financial and not being so much keen on it. I don’t think I regret it now.