DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

[FiddIedeedee]

DD 27 and her boyfriend (also 27) are proper home bodies. All they seem to do in their free time is go for country walks with their dogs, meals out or Sunday markets 😂

When I was in my 20s I was partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

Last weekend they baked cookies and went on a long country walk with the dogs with a pub lunch. DD spends a lot of time reading and crocheting bits here and there. The boyfriend has started furniture restoration as a hobby. They’re like an old couple honestly!

DD got annoyed with me because I said to them they need to be out enjoying their 20s (and soon 30s) and not acting like a couple in their 60s. DP says leave them be but I just don’t want them to regret not living life to the full. You’re a long time old as they say.

AIBU?

Some people don’t know how lucky they are. Your daughter and boyfriend are not taking drugs/unemployed/living in your spare room/have 6 kids. Get my point. Let them live the life they want.

They sound just like me.I was never one for going to night clubs or drinking.This was in the 70's and 80's. I went on walking holidays with my boyfriend of the time, in this country & abroad. We both went out walking with a walking group on Sundays.

Not everybody has to find happiness in the way you find happiness.

You've said your piece to her, by all accounts, and you might be proved right or you might be proved wrong. But continuing to needle at her about doing things your way is just a recipe for resentment and upset, and it sounds like you've realised that now.

For what it's worth I'm a fair bit more like your daughter than I am you (though I like a bit more travel than your daughter, it seems), and always have been. I don't feel that I've missed out on anything and 'waste' to me would have looked a lot more like your idea of fun! Horses for courses.

Times have changed and you’re being the arse here. How dare grown adults walk their dogs in the country, popping into a pub for lunch, baking cookies….. Dear me. This isn’t a waste of a life, this to me sounds bloody perfect. They sound sensible and extremely comfortable and grounded. You should be proud instead of condescending. Your daughter has grown up in a different time which differs vastly from the time you grew up. Sounds like she’s smart and someone to be proud of, doesn’t follow the flock and is her own person.

What lovely friends you have, all sitting there laughing about your dd's life choices.

With a mum like you she doesn't need enemies, you are just nasty. All the laughing emoji about the activities she likes. Your really are a nasty piece of work.

Their life sounds blissful and how wonderful that they are so well-matched. They deserve better than nasty judgement from you and your friends. Leave them alone!

This. The OP must think we're all stupid if she thinks putting a 😂 on the end of many bitchy comments about her daughter means we can't see through her. And then had the audacity to get upset about being called out.

You are so interfering, it’s annoying.

Usually people who are satisfied with their surroundings lead a fulfilling life. Not everyone cares to travel the world. Many travel the world for the wrong reasons.
They will travel outside UK when they want. If you like you go ahead and live your life the way you think it should be lived.

Are you just projecting your own regrets at having not done certain things on to them?

You are so mean. What do you mean boring? You sound arrogant and not very interesting yourself.

You should be proud of your child for pursuing the activities that make her happy. You should also be relieved that she has found someone who is on the same page as her. Now focus on what makes YOU fulfilled 🙂

What have you learnt about other cultures? Let’s hear the superior wisdom and knowledge you gained through your travel.

A lot of people these days travel to far away places but learn very little unless they spend substantial time and keep going back to the same place.

Have you even bother to notice in many of those exotic places you travelled people are home bodies, they love spending time with families. Or did you just go to clubbing destinations and clubbed whole night and now think you have learnt something amazing about other countries club scenes which your dd cannot without travelling?

God there are some nasty cows on here. The OP was just making a light hearted comment, I took it to be tongue in cheek!

Sounds like they are doing better in their 20's than you did with yours?

You think going clubbing is some sort of major achievement? Did you also vomit in a taxi? How amazing!

Your daughter sounds nice and wholesome. You should be proud instead of judgemental.

It seems like op wants her dd to travel the world so op can boast to her friends where her dd went latest. She is not happy that her dd has found a bf who she is very compatible and happy with, she is not happy that her dd choose to live a well balanced life, going for country walks, socialising with like minded people, doing creative stuff at home, it seems like her dd being content with her life means nothing to op. She wants her to do flashy travel like other poster’s son who has been to 10 countries for adventure trips by age 21.
Op is coming across a bit narcissistic. It's about op not dd.

How dare you label them as boring! You sound very shallow if you needed partying and clubbing to make your life feel worthwhile. Your DD and her BF find pleasure in outdoor pursuits. If you continue to openly criticise them you risk losing them.

A lot of wild partying has to do with filling a void. They sound very contented. When I was out til all hours in my 20s I often envied friends who had quieter lives.

YABVU they are living their lives how they want to. Are they happy? Then butt out.
I hope you are more passive on this and not making comments or trying to change them,
My parents tried to change me. I resented them for it and for pushing me into things I hated.

You need to be more tolerant of different lifestyles and choices.

Judging their lives through your extrovert-normative lens is small-minded and insecure.

You don’t need to validate your life choices by denigrating theirs.

She will experience different cultures if she explores the UK. There is so much to learn within the 4 nations.

It's not always easy these days to travel, many destinations are just tourist orientated with limited opportunity to experience the true culture. People don't often have the time (annual leave entitlement) or money to travel off the beaten track.

Young people need to save hard from the outset to afford high rental costs / have any hope of buying a home. There is also pressure to establish a career straight from uni to maximise earning potential and manage the cost of living crisis.

They are living. Just not your life.

They are not you, and how they live (in what sounds a lovely, relaxed and healthy way) is none of your business. Stop projecting and let them enjoy their life as they choose.

I’m sorry but you are so out of order.
Your dd and her boyfriend sound just like mine and I’m so proud of how they have their heads screwed on and are living their lives exactly how they want to and are happy, not giving a shit what anyone thinks of them.
I was like you, raving, clubbing, travelling etc..do I want that for her? Absolutely not if it not for her.
Looking back I regret so much and wasted so much precious time being high or drunk and making completely the wrong decisions.
I seriously hope you don’t tell them how you feel about their lifestyle choice.

Sounds idyllic to be honest

I see your point but times have changed, clubs and going out aren’t what they used to be when we were younger. I think they sound like they have a lovely life and you need to stop trying to re-live your youth through them. I also think you are rose-tinting the going out and clubbing - it was a massive drugs and rave culture when we were growing up and I’m sure you’re a similar age. The majority of the new generation are too savvy for all that nonsense - it’s a good thing.