DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

[FiddIedeedee]

DD 27 and her boyfriend (also 27) are proper home bodies. All they seem to do in their free time is go for country walks with their dogs, meals out or Sunday markets 😂

When I was in my 20s I was partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

Last weekend they baked cookies and went on a long country walk with the dogs with a pub lunch. DD spends a lot of time reading and crocheting bits here and there. The boyfriend has started furniture restoration as a hobby. They’re like an old couple honestly!

DD got annoyed with me because I said to them they need to be out enjoying their 20s (and soon 30s) and not acting like a couple in their 60s. DP says leave them be but I just don’t want them to regret not living life to the full. You’re a long time old as they say.

AIBU?

I’m not sure if you’re trying to be funny or “ lighthearted” as they say on here, but you’re just coming off as judgmental and a bit tedious. I find middle aged people who bang on about how wild they were back in the day the dullest people imaginable.

Ah OP don't worry I guess was my point, they sound like most of the late 20s couples I hang out with! If it helps being single doesn't equal adventure either - BIL is 27 and spends most of his spare time hosting Dungeons and Dragons, playing PC games, or out running. Genuinely I do think it's just a culture shift and doesn't mean they'll never travel or anything like that x

I don’t think you understand that what they do is none of your business. Back off with your judgement and get on with your own life because if you don’t then a rift will develop (possibly already has? Your daughter will likely have sensed your disapproving attitude).

That is fine though, they might travel or they might not, if they are happy and content then surely that is all that matters .

Did you take her on holiday as a kid abroad ?

She’s never done it though. Neither of them have ever done the party scene. It’s not that they’ve grown out of it they never did it.

I didn’t realise it was a generational thing, I just thought they were boring 😂

Just because you were a partier and drinker doesn't mean your daughter is.

She can enjoy different things than you did. Their life together sounds emotionally full and satisfying.

She isn't missing out at all and her life doesn't have to validate choices you made about yours.

Yes loads of places and not just Europe! I hoped she’d have the travel bug too but she doesn’t seem interested ☹️

The world is in chaos. Let them find whatever calm they can. You're so unreasonable.

I’m pleased she’s found someone as boring 😉 they’re definitely 2 peas in a pod!

Is this a wind up? At 27, they know better than to waste their money partying and clubbing. Partying and clubbing is wasting their lives tbh, not how they are living now.

Sounds like they have a wonderful life. Leave them to it.

They sound happy. And not just happy but happy in themselves, they know what they like, they aren't trying to fill some hole in their life with shit. They sound like a great couple.

Plus you also need to remember that they probably dont tell you everything, they could be meeting up with people for wild orgies on the peak district trips.

Would you rather ther go out pop pills get rat arsed every weekend and end up ill or worse ?

You sound like an awful parent, id rather my adult child live their life like this than out clubbing,drinking,taking drugs and whatever else they get up to
Give your head a wobble its their life not yours

I only went out partying in the hope of meeting a guy, if I had a guy I wouldn’t have bothered…..I regret spending so much money and time on partying in my youth, thinking back a lot of it wasn’t really that much fun just going out getting drunk and then feeling horrible the next…..wish I was as sensible as them back then, also younger people nowadays are not partying as much as we did back in the 90s/ 00s

This

Not funny taking the piss 'light-heartedly' out of your own DD.

It sounds lovely to me and it’s also none of your bloody business either! I can’t think of anything worse than falling out of bars or clubbing. Leave them be.

The thing is no-one wants to be like thier mum when they're 27. To you clubbing and getting wasted is cool, but to them, well it's mum stuff. Drinking to excess isn't now something young people do, it's a millenials and up thing. It's like asking why the kids aren't on Facebook, but it's not a cutting edge social space for them like it was 20 years ago, it's somewhere That Relative posts racist memes.

I mean...

Firstly, enjoying wholesome activities isn't mutually exclusive with enjoying less wholesome ones. Even in my hardest-partying phase I'd have some weekends where I exercised, went to museums and attended book readings. Then the next weekend I'd go clubbing and party-hopping for two days straight.

Secondly, if I was telling my mother about what I got up to I'd be emphasising the former and wouldn't breathe a single word about the latter. OP, if your daughter is going to sex clubs or getting off her face on drugs, she will probably not be giving you a single indication about any of it.

Thirdly even if she is leading the 100% wholesome life you fear she is, it's her prerogative. Baking cookies, a long walk with the dog, a country pub and a lot of reading sounds like a brilliant life. I say this as a not-reformed-yet party girl - that sounds like an excellent way to spend a weekend. Let her find pleasure in what she naturally enjoys!

I danced away my 20s but I don't especially count that as 'living'

YABVU "living a little" doesn't have to mean partying and clubbing.

Wild origies in the woods well they always say you have to watch the quiet ones 😀

No I mean they’ve never partied. As a teenager I was hoping she’d go out and have fun instead of reading a book in her PJs in the evening. Was hoping as she neared her 30s she’d realise she’s been missing out on the world! That’s all.

They are living. 'Living' doesn't mean clubbing until the small hours and getting off your face. It means doing what you find enjoyable and fulfilling. Leave them to get on with their lives.

I'm appalled you think they're boring!

I wonder what they think of you?