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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel angrey after Holland Park School open morning?

288 replies

GentleMintCat · 20/09/2025 18:07

I’m viewing a few secondary schools at the moment. We’ve seen some private ones (sadly not an option unless DD gets a huge bursary). Yesterday I went to see Holland Park School — which has always felt like our safest option since we live very close — but came out devastated and rather angry.

Yes, the grounds are gorgeous, with a shiny, modern building, a new sports pitch, and spacious classrooms with lovely views over Holland Park. But the atmosphere? Absolutely grim. The classrooms were deadly quiet — no energy, no spark, no laughter, no questions, no enthusiasm.

Alright, I guess that’s fine in maths or English, but even in drama, music, and art… in art, the children were like in a traditional exam setting, sitting at their desks, copying a dull sketch from the screen in complete silence, while the teacher walked around peering over their shoulders. I couldn’t sense a shred of creativity, joy, or curiosity in that room. It felt almost like a military camp. Even the bell sounded like a fire alarm — the sort you see in American prisons in films.

When I asked students what they loved about the school, they couldn’t answer. I rephrased and asked what was one thing they were excited about coming to school, but they seemed unsure. What they were actually excited to talk about was “refocus rooms,” detention room, and punishments. They really wanted us to see the detention room which was on the ground floor, a dark space with heavy black curtains where you’re sent for forgetting your planner, doodling in a workbook, wearing the wrong colour socks, missing a part of your uniform, or being two minutes late. This lovely, polite girl said she had already been there twice this year - once for doodling because she got carried away 'in a boring lesson' and another for forgetting her planner, which they have to carry with them at all times.

I went in Soviet school and honestly, even they didn’t have detention rooms. If anyone misbehaved, they would do extra fitness classes or some do some gardening and cleaning for school grounds, and parents were called in. I’m not saying that was better by any means, but honestly — how the hell have we normalised this? What are we thinking as a society, treating children like inmates inside schools, and then acting shocked when they go wild on the streets after being in this prison-like environment all day long?

All I want is a normal, happy school for my child. Is that too much to ask? And do I have to pay £30k a year to avoid this 'military silence + constant detentions'? Is that what we call a good education in the 21st century? I couldn’t stop thinking: what kind of young people will come out of this school environment — happy, curious, caring, loving, creative, enthusiastic and empathetic?

OP posts:
BeachLife2 · 26/09/2025 17:12

DancingMango · 26/09/2025 14:50

I agree with you 100%

Which state schools are run effectively with no rules or punishments?

Miriabelle · 26/09/2025 17:17

BeachLife2 · 26/09/2025 17:12

Which state schools are run effectively with no rules or punishments?

Who has said there should be no rules or punishments?

DancingMango · 26/09/2025 17:37

BeachLife2 · 26/09/2025 17:12

Which state schools are run effectively with no rules or punishments?

Loads across Europe . Run without uniforms too . Far better academic and behavioural outcomes .

BeachLife2 · 26/09/2025 18:08

Miriabelle · 26/09/2025 17:17

Who has said there should be no rules or punishments?

The poster previously quoted stated that “punishment goes against all the research”. So I’m asking for examples of these fantastic state schools that operate without any need for consequences.

Miriabelle · 26/09/2025 19:01

BeachLife2 · 26/09/2025 18:08

The poster previously quoted stated that “punishment goes against all the research”. So I’m asking for examples of these fantastic state schools that operate without any need for consequences.

It’s obvious that the thread is about excessive punishment cultures, not having no punishments at all.

Araminta1003 · 26/09/2025 19:38

Someone could do a poll on MN and ask how many detentions and suspensions MN DC have had in English state schools? 4 DC here, many years of schiol, nobody to date has managed it! And certainly no angels.

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 26/09/2025 20:00

themerchentofvenus · 20/09/2025 18:42

So how many academies have you spent time in/worked in to draw this conclusion? (as that's quite a sweeping statement...)

@GentleMintCat clearly this school isn't the right one for your child. Look elsewhere.

Edited

I've spent time and worked in several academies and this is my experience too.

Toastea · 26/09/2025 23:55

I asked my DC about the isolation room (at their school, a different academy) and they said, "lots of children end up in it together, so it's hardly isolation."

SixtySomething · 27/09/2025 01:37

Toastea · 26/09/2025 23:55

I asked my DC about the isolation room (at their school, a different academy) and they said, "lots of children end up in it together, so it's hardly isolation."

Plus, in the school I knew about, one teaching assistant would have to look after them all.
The room was at the far end of the school, above the hall, so all far away from inconveniencing the teachers.
There was a video link to Headmistresses office. Apparently, she did not get involved except to call up the poor TA and say,' Mrs x, Can you kindly explain why Jimmy isn't wearing regulation shoes?"
I'm delving into the past here. Schools have to find ways of managing daily life without letting really disruptive kids take over and some routes to achieving this end are better than others!

limetrees32 · 27/09/2025 07:16

@GentleMintCat I've sent you a PM ,I hope you don't mind .

Choochoop · 27/09/2025 07:23

Let’s hope she doesn’t get a place there, for the teachers’ sake!

BookArt55 · 27/09/2025 07:48

This makes me sad to hear! I am an Art teacher, yesterday we had a school tour and the whole tour of maybe 20 parents and their children came into my classroom of Year 7s who are still very quiet and nervous (it won't last!). They got a chance to talk, and to hear the lovely comments they said about my lesson, the school and their experience was so lovely. The room was definitely not silent when the tour walked in, we were excitedly praising one student's work who had improved so much.
I think behaviour is out of control ins one schools, but then the robotic schools as you describe is... awful.
Keep looking! You can find a school that works for your child, and don't be scared to look at faith schools, you don't always have to be that faith to get in.

PerkyHiker · 30/09/2025 08:35

My son has only recently started Y7 at Holland Park School and absolutely loves it - and this is coming from a child who is not that keen on school so that is saying something.

Not only the grounds are amazing, but he often notes how kind his teachers are.

From arriving not knowing anyone, he managed to make some new friends.

I was really worried about his transition into Y7 -and I couldn’t have hoped for a better start. My other child went to a different school and unfortunately didn’t have a great start so we were quite wary.

And yes - he already had a detention but he didn’t mind.

So far - Happy boy, happy mum

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