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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it shocking how brazen people are with their hatred of refugees?

675 replies

GreenFairy93 · 20/09/2025 16:11

Another day, another Facebook post calling for the army to be bought in to stop the boats. Another comment section full of people shouting "sink the boats!" "Use as much force as necessary to stop them!"

There are women and children on these boats and people are brazenly calling for force to be used against them and for them to be sunk, with pictures of their faces next to their comments. Not an ounce of shame. And there's hundreds of them.

I just find it absolutely abhorrent and honestly, really upsetting that so many people have dehumanised asylum seekers to the point they have absolutely no compassion in their hearts to the point they are publicly calling for harm to come to families fleeing war.

AIBU to be shocked that people think this is ok now?

OP posts:
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SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 16:35

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 16:22

If a charity solicited donations for a particular cause, and then used those funds for other purposes, do you think those who had contributed would feel slightly annoyed?

But we’re not talking charity donations, we’re talking about public money in the form of that £9 or £49.

It is fair to question what those funds go towards being used for, but only if you’re also of the mind to question what people spend their UC on. They’re all public funds. Are people of benefits allowed takeaways?

I’m more of the mind that once those funds leave the public purse and arrive in the hands of whoever is getting them, they can waste it however they please, we don’t need receipts. That applies to both our “own” and those who have arrived here.

GreenFairy93 · 21/09/2025 16:36

BundleBoogie · 21/09/2025 16:10

What a ridiculous thing to say!

Midnight oil didn’t say anything remotely resembling that?

If you’ve got to make up accusations to argue against it shows a very weak position.

It's not ridiculous at all.

The response to how on earth do people think it is acceptable to call for the sinking of refugee boats by the armed forces to ensure they never make it ashore when there are children in these boats was 'they aren't women or children they are young men'.

That can absolutely be interpreted as it's fine to sink them because it's just men. At no point did midnight oil agree that this behaviour is abhorrent or unacceptable, she justified it.

Why are you so desperate to just gloss over this disgusting behaviour?

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 16:38

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 16:15

You don’t care, that’s fine. Others are allowed to care - and do. They feel it is their business, since they’re the ones funding it. That’s perfectly justifiable.

Do you think that should be applied to all benefits then, people in UC should be humiliated by having their outgoings scrutinised and they should have no right to a private life?

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 16:39

Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 16:31

It's self evident from this post and your many posts that you literally have no filter- perhaps take your own advice and pipe down with the character assessments.

I wasn’t talking to you sweetpea 🙂

Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 16:40

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 16:39

I wasn’t talking to you sweetpea 🙂

No but I don't like people being bullied so I was pointing out your hypocrisy.

Boomer55 · 21/09/2025 16:43

I don’t hate anyone - we are all humans. I just think we need to know who’s coming here and what their reasoning is. The vast majority are young, single men. 🤷‍♀️

peasporrige · 21/09/2025 16:47

@LittleYellowQueen What evidence do i have that tax evasion and fraud isn't being tackled?
£46 billion a year lost. Next question?

Where does that figure come from?

ElizaMulvil · 21/09/2025 16:48

SouthernBelle21 · 21/09/2025 15:11

It's horrific, and I just know that if we had a chance of a better life we would do everything possible to take it.

They must be desperate to make a journey like that, and it breaks my heart that there's so much hatred towards them when they get here.

There MUST be something that can be done. Like, could they not do some work in return for accommodation? I don't know, obviously I don't know numbers or anything, but there's so much that needs to be done to improve this country. Maybe they could help us, in return for us helping them.

Exactly. Many countrues allow asylum seekers to work rather than spend years in deep poverty. Also we need to continue to speed up the processing.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 16:59

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 16:12

That would all be fair enough, if the food intake of other people was any of your or my business - for example.

I do not care if someone orders a takeaway. I care about the facts, and the fact is they’re given x amount by the HO. Them ordering a Deliveroo doesn’t change that fact, or change the amount that’s coming out of the public pocket.

Like I said, speculation. We don’t have access to every asylum seeker or migrants bank account. What they have and how they spend it isn’t our concern. What they get from us, is - and that’s the amounts we discussed earlier. Everything else isn’t our business, because it’s not coming out of our funds.

The way that my tax money is spent IS my business. I do care if somebody is potentially committing one or several crimes; it's long been a staple of HMRC to investigate people who are living beyond their means. Somebody with £9 a week is potentially living beyond their means if they are ordering takeaways. I’d rather we punished criminals, not indulge them because, awww, they’ve had a hard time of it.

We’re on a discussion forum; speculation is part of any discussion, and unless you can produce definitive evidence that the speculation is unfounded, its an entirely reasonable basis for a conversation. Just because it’s not to your preference, doesnt make it any less valid. Do you berate women who post their suspicions (or, to put it another way, their speculation) that their OH might be having an affair?

Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 17:06

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 16:59

The way that my tax money is spent IS my business. I do care if somebody is potentially committing one or several crimes; it's long been a staple of HMRC to investigate people who are living beyond their means. Somebody with £9 a week is potentially living beyond their means if they are ordering takeaways. I’d rather we punished criminals, not indulge them because, awww, they’ve had a hard time of it.

We’re on a discussion forum; speculation is part of any discussion, and unless you can produce definitive evidence that the speculation is unfounded, its an entirely reasonable basis for a conversation. Just because it’s not to your preference, doesnt make it any less valid. Do you berate women who post their suspicions (or, to put it another way, their speculation) that their OH might be having an affair?

So is that a blanket approach you want to apply to all benefits, UC for example, if someone is believed to spending beyond their means

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 17:08

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 16:59

The way that my tax money is spent IS my business. I do care if somebody is potentially committing one or several crimes; it's long been a staple of HMRC to investigate people who are living beyond their means. Somebody with £9 a week is potentially living beyond their means if they are ordering takeaways. I’d rather we punished criminals, not indulge them because, awww, they’ve had a hard time of it.

We’re on a discussion forum; speculation is part of any discussion, and unless you can produce definitive evidence that the speculation is unfounded, its an entirely reasonable basis for a conversation. Just because it’s not to your preference, doesnt make it any less valid. Do you berate women who post their suspicions (or, to put it another way, their speculation) that their OH might be having an affair?

That’s a difference of opinion. I don’t question people on UC with the latest iPhone, I don’t buy into the “in poverty but has a TV” stuff, and I don’t care what someone spends their £9 on.

Once the government has given them it, it’s not my £9.

We do have an issue with non-taxed work. We have that issue in our own “unemployed” too in the form of cash in hand jobs, drug dealing, etc etc. I’m assuming that bothers you as much as it does in the case of migrants? It’s as bad when our “own” do it?

That’s completely irrelevant. But I wouldn’t conclude someone was definitely having an affair without evidence of one.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:10

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:55

Every single thing an immigrant or asylum seeker does, or anything is claimed about them, you question and try turn into a negative.

You’ve been doing it across various threads for days now.

Even when things are based in fact - like amounts of money given to asylum seekers “yeah but they get takeaways so that can’t be true.”

Yesterday you told another poster that large quantities of men just pretend to be gay to gain asylum, and have indicated that Afghanistan is actually a safe place to be. Which is obvious nonsense.

I don’t know why you have a deep seated distrust for people from a different background to you, or why you find it so hard to believe that people have a genuine need for support, or genuinely intend to work here and better both their lives and our communities.

But you do seem to have an inherent issue with migrants and asylum seekers and will turn anything, including fact, into a negative narrative.

Even the government recognises that asylum seekers are working illegally, which is why they are proposing to share details of migrant hotels with delivery businesses, to try to join the dots, yet you seem to delight in glossing over that criminal activity. Perhaps illegal working and tax evasion don’t bother you because these are nice young men who are just trying to have a better life, but some of us have a wider sense of fairness and social conscience.

ElizaMulvil · 21/09/2025 17:13

I understand the despair of people who have been hit by the austerity of the Conservative/Liberal Governments where 1.Sure Start was cancelled, people could be sacked with no recourse, people's jobs were increasingly on zero hours contracts, so you never know whether you'll get work, pay frozen for years.....etc but the problem is not primarily the arrival of asylum seekers ( who by definition are ambitious and want to work hard and we need because of our collapsing birth rate). 2.The privatisation of our wealth e.g. Water, Rail, Gas, Electricity,Post etc etc so these companies pay out huge dividents to share holders, hiding their wealth to avoid tax and leaving us with non functioning services. 3. The fact that the richest 50 families in our country have roughly the same wealth as the poorest half of the population. We need a wealth tax say 2%. Billionaires would barely notice it and would live here still. 4. About 29% of our land is not registered so we can't tax it as we have no idea who owns it.
Etc, etc. The whole argument re immigration is a distraction by millionaires like Farage to avoid tackling our real problems of inequality and exploitation of the working population.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:14

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:56

Spades are spades.

You know that term has racist origins, right? It’s not generally acceptable these days.

CrazyAboutFurBabies · 21/09/2025 17:16

PearlCluches · 21/09/2025 07:48

The reason there is so much vitriol is because British nationals are tired of being sidelined. Thousands of undocumented men crossing the Channel who lie about their age, lie about their country of origin, lie about their reasons for asylum and have contributed nothing to the economy are being prioritised above British nationals. None of these men are coming over here on boats to pursue careers as Drs. They are coming here purely for economic benefit. They are not subject to the same waiting lists you or I have to join for NHS treatment and can access it far faster without the long waits. Likewise when they are given leave to remain, many of whom did so based on lies which cannot be proven like homosexually and converting to Christianity will again be prioritised above British citizens for social housing. Thousands of undocumented men with no ties to the UK are blatantly abusing the asylum system for economic gain. For people who do have ties on the UK there are legal means to enter the country. They are not fleeing war in France but choose not to claim asylum there because they know they will not be prioritised above French nationals. Just one example, recently a woman from Georgia who has leave to remain in the UK turned up at Canary Wharf with her baby in a pram to visit her son who arrived on a boat that week. You're telling me someone who has a mother and sibling with leave to remain in the UK cannot enter the country legally and claim asylum but can pay an imaginary people smuggler thousands of pounds to get on a rubber dinghy instead? Give over. We are being taken for absolute mugs! The reason thousands of undocumented men are entering the country illegally and lying about their age, origin and reason to gain asylum is because they know they can get away with it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Don’t forget the ones that are returning to Afghanistan for a ‘holiday’ …

CrazyAboutFurBabies · 21/09/2025 17:19

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 16:08

Have you got one that links those figures to immigration?

I will have a look and find some sources, but surely you are not THAT naive to not call it a coincidence…

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:20

Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 16:38

Do you think that should be applied to all benefits then, people in UC should be humiliated by having their outgoings scrutinised and they should have no right to a private life?

They frequently do that themselves, otherwise the Sun and Daily Express would have nothing to publish.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 17:21

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:14

You know that term has racist origins, right? It’s not generally acceptable these days.

No, because that’s not true either.

It originates in a classic Greek text that was translated and introduced into English in 1542. It predates the use of the word spade as a racial slur, which was first recorded in 1928.

I admittedly did have to look that up, but you could have done the same thing to work out that it doesn’t have racist origins.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 17:23

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:10

Even the government recognises that asylum seekers are working illegally, which is why they are proposing to share details of migrant hotels with delivery businesses, to try to join the dots, yet you seem to delight in glossing over that criminal activity. Perhaps illegal working and tax evasion don’t bother you because these are nice young men who are just trying to have a better life, but some of us have a wider sense of fairness and social conscience.

If you had £9, you’d quite likely find another source of income.

Criminal activity is criminal activity, but let’s not pretend it’s not very obvious why someone would need more than £9.

The answer IMO is to get them into the workforce and earning quicker. They can contribute then too!

Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 17:23

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:20

They frequently do that themselves, otherwise the Sun and Daily Express would have nothing to publish.

So people on UC routinely have their bank activity looked at?

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:24

Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 17:06

So is that a blanket approach you want to apply to all benefits, UC for example, if someone is believed to spending beyond their means

They already do, it’s one of the ways they catch criminals.

Poetnojo · 21/09/2025 17:25

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:14

You know that term has racist origins, right? It’s not generally acceptable these days.

You know you're totally wrong about that right?
It's origins are in no way racist.
It just means to speak the truth

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:25

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 17:08

That’s a difference of opinion. I don’t question people on UC with the latest iPhone, I don’t buy into the “in poverty but has a TV” stuff, and I don’t care what someone spends their £9 on.

Once the government has given them it, it’s not my £9.

We do have an issue with non-taxed work. We have that issue in our own “unemployed” too in the form of cash in hand jobs, drug dealing, etc etc. I’m assuming that bothers you as much as it does in the case of migrants? It’s as bad when our “own” do it?

That’s completely irrelevant. But I wouldn’t conclude someone was definitely having an affair without evidence of one.

“We do have an issue with non-taxed work. We have that issue in our own “unemployed” too in the form of cash in hand jobs, drug dealing, etc etc. I’m assuming that bothers you as much as it does in the case of migrants? It’s as bad when our “own” do it?”

It absolutely bothers me as much, and I’ve reported it before, along with suspected tax evasion.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 17:28

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:25

“We do have an issue with non-taxed work. We have that issue in our own “unemployed” too in the form of cash in hand jobs, drug dealing, etc etc. I’m assuming that bothers you as much as it does in the case of migrants? It’s as bad when our “own” do it?”

It absolutely bothers me as much, and I’ve reported it before, along with suspected tax evasion.

Okay. Well then let’s deal with people getting £2k a month in benefits and doing it, before we deal with the people with £9.

Fair, right?

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 17:30

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 17:23

If you had £9, you’d quite likely find another source of income.

Criminal activity is criminal activity, but let’s not pretend it’s not very obvious why someone would need more than £9.

The answer IMO is to get them into the workforce and earning quicker. They can contribute then too!

If somebody was paying your rent, utilities, food and travel bills, and charities were happy to provide you with phones, clothing, and entertainment, what would you need more than a few quid a week pocket money for?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9dgd1qyq29o

A person presses buttons on a colourful slot machine

Investigation into claims asylum seeker payment cards used for gambling

More than 6,500 payments in gambling settings were attempted by asylum seekers in the past year.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9dgd1qyq29o