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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it shocking how brazen people are with their hatred of refugees?

675 replies

GreenFairy93 · 20/09/2025 16:11

Another day, another Facebook post calling for the army to be bought in to stop the boats. Another comment section full of people shouting "sink the boats!" "Use as much force as necessary to stop them!"

There are women and children on these boats and people are brazenly calling for force to be used against them and for them to be sunk, with pictures of their faces next to their comments. Not an ounce of shame. And there's hundreds of them.

I just find it absolutely abhorrent and honestly, really upsetting that so many people have dehumanised asylum seekers to the point they have absolutely no compassion in their hearts to the point they are publicly calling for harm to come to families fleeing war.

AIBU to be shocked that people think this is ok now?

OP posts:
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15
MrsSkylerWhite · 21/09/2025 15:01

Livelovebehappy · 21/09/2025 14:52

But making inappropriate and wild statements on SM isn’t anything new. You can go on face book, X and other media platforms every day and see absolutely vile comments about many different subjects. The important thing is not to try to lump together people who might have a shared sentiment about anti immigration, but many of whom will not share the same ideas or views on how to resolve it. For example, my idea would be to get the army deployed on the French coast where the departure points are, and stop the boats coming in the first place. I would absolutely not condone attacks on boats or people to stop them landing. Nor I suspect would the majority of people.

Would you therefore agree that it’s not fair to lump asylum seekers together as feckless, sexual predators intent on sponging of the state? Seems to be very much the rhetoric of the anti-immigration groups.

YesImaman1100 · 21/09/2025 15:03

I don't think the word brazen is correct here.

That said, whether I agree or not, free speech and all.

SouthernBelle21 · 21/09/2025 15:11

It's horrific, and I just know that if we had a chance of a better life we would do everything possible to take it.

They must be desperate to make a journey like that, and it breaks my heart that there's so much hatred towards them when they get here.

There MUST be something that can be done. Like, could they not do some work in return for accommodation? I don't know, obviously I don't know numbers or anything, but there's so much that needs to be done to improve this country. Maybe they could help us, in return for us helping them.

RhododendronFlowers · 21/09/2025 15:13

SouthernBelle21 · 21/09/2025 15:11

It's horrific, and I just know that if we had a chance of a better life we would do everything possible to take it.

They must be desperate to make a journey like that, and it breaks my heart that there's so much hatred towards them when they get here.

There MUST be something that can be done. Like, could they not do some work in return for accommodation? I don't know, obviously I don't know numbers or anything, but there's so much that needs to be done to improve this country. Maybe they could help us, in return for us helping them.

If they work, then they're economic migrants. I think the rule is that they're not allowed to work for the duration of the process.
The backlog is huge though - thank you, previous governments, so the priority should be to speed this up. Of course, that will no doubt take money.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:21

SisterMargaretta · 21/09/2025 14:46

Well if you consider international law to be magic.

Perhaps the international law, which was written in the 1940s before the internet, social media, immigration lawyers making $$$, charities making $$$, smuggling gangs making $$$, and millions of largely young men with access to all of those, is no longer credible but is seen as magic by those who can exploit it? But no so much by those who are paying for it and living with the consequences.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:22

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 14:49

There are British people living in appalling conditions in damp and mold infested homes and paying a fortune for the privilege. They don’t have hot meals provided for them, their mobile phone aren’t paid for by charities, they don’t get ‘pocket money’ and they can’t get a doctor’s appointment.

Those people have the absolute right as citizens of this country to be considered the first priority. We’ve reached a point when asylum seekers and refugees are prioritised over the existing population. It’s fundamentally unfair and cannot continue.

Prioritised more by who?

We’re talking about separate issues. The Home Office isn’t meant to be prioritising the quality of housing issues that you mention.

It’s quite obviously a different budget, and you have absolutely no evidence that those funds spent on asylum currently would be reallocated to the areas you’re talking about. It’s all just a red herring.

It is also quite unlikely that most people in this country would be better off if the government gave them £9, compared to any support they already get. Nobody is trading their UC for £9.

We do support low income families. Admittedly the amount may still be difficult to live on, but it’s more than £9.

Unsure on the NHS appointments - I can get an appointment within a week, dentist within a few weeks.

Welshwabbit · 21/09/2025 15:25

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 17:37

Another day, another thread on this topic, when everything the is to say has been said elsewhere.

No one is going to change their minds on this subject.

Those in favour of immigration enjoy feeling virtuous and morally superior. It makes them feel good. And talk is cheap; it’s easy for them to talk the talk, because they don’t have to walk the walk.

They don’t have to live with the negative consequences of their virtue signalling. Immigration for them means cheap nannies, cheap domestic help, a underclass of cheap foreign labour they can exploit, exciting ethnic restaurants where they boast how cultured and cosmopolitan they are. They live in nice areas and the children attend good schools, in no danger of being assaulted or raped. These people are insulated by wealth. There’s no downside.

Those who have to live with the negative consequences are told to shut up, pipe down, and everything would work out beautifully if they’d just be quiet and stop drawing attention to the problems. These people can’t move away from the areas where asylum seekers are housed. Their children are in state schools with children who don’t speak English as a first language, taught by teachers who also don’t have a high level of language skill. They can’t afford to eat in these restaurants, or employ cheap labour - they’re in direct competition with these new arrivals for their jobs. Their children are vulnerable to those who hold differing cultural values.

One group has all the advantages, all the benefits, and punishes the other group for trying to speak up about their problems and the fundamental unfairness of it. They don’t want to know - and if they do realise it, they don’t much care.

Edited

This is an extremely odd take. Many of the most vociferous protests against immigration, asylum seekers and "the boats" come from areas where there are very few asylum seekers - or indeed people of non-white ethnic origin. One example is mid Wales where I grew up, where there was a well-publicised protest earlier this month. I now live in London and my children go to (good) state schools with a large percentage of children who do not speak English as a first language, whereas at my primary school in mid Wales pretty much everyone spoke, and still speaks, English or Welsh as a first language. The percentage of people expressing anti-immigrant sentiment was much higher where I grew up.

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 15:26

SouthernBelle21 · 21/09/2025 15:11

It's horrific, and I just know that if we had a chance of a better life we would do everything possible to take it.

They must be desperate to make a journey like that, and it breaks my heart that there's so much hatred towards them when they get here.

There MUST be something that can be done. Like, could they not do some work in return for accommodation? I don't know, obviously I don't know numbers or anything, but there's so much that needs to be done to improve this country. Maybe they could help us, in return for us helping them.

In West Sussex they bought 7 new build houses for over £2million for Afghan asylum seekers. This doesn't include the costs of furnishings which they refuse to disclose. While British families struggle…

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ce99rvz1prwo.amp

One of the Afghans was so grateful he assaulted a teenage girl and is now in prison.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14035807/afghan-immigrant-sexual-assault-girl-harbour-park-amusements-littlehampton.html

Yet you seem surprised that people might not welcome them with open arms.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:28

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:22

Prioritised more by who?

We’re talking about separate issues. The Home Office isn’t meant to be prioritising the quality of housing issues that you mention.

It’s quite obviously a different budget, and you have absolutely no evidence that those funds spent on asylum currently would be reallocated to the areas you’re talking about. It’s all just a red herring.

It is also quite unlikely that most people in this country would be better off if the government gave them £9, compared to any support they already get. Nobody is trading their UC for £9.

We do support low income families. Admittedly the amount may still be difficult to live on, but it’s more than £9.

Unsure on the NHS appointments - I can get an appointment within a week, dentist within a few weeks.

You’d wonder how so many manage to afford all their Uber Eats deliveries then. Perhaps they all club together?

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:32

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:28

You’d wonder how so many manage to afford all their Uber Eats deliveries then. Perhaps they all club together?

Fancy being any clearer?

They get £9.95 if food is included with their accommodation. £49.18 if not.

They’re just the facts. Not really up to us what they spend it on in either case.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 21/09/2025 15:32

SouthernBelle21 · 21/09/2025 15:11

It's horrific, and I just know that if we had a chance of a better life we would do everything possible to take it.

They must be desperate to make a journey like that, and it breaks my heart that there's so much hatred towards them when they get here.

There MUST be something that can be done. Like, could they not do some work in return for accommodation? I don't know, obviously I don't know numbers or anything, but there's so much that needs to be done to improve this country. Maybe they could help us, in return for us helping them.

So if there are 304 million refugees globally as of 2024 (many of who would quite like to come to UK if the opportunity presented itself) how many should we take? How do you choose? How would they be put to work?

I think I always come across harshly on these threads but emotive decisions tend to make for bad laws. Around 800 million ( 10% of the worlds population) is malnourished. A further 20% is in imminent danger of becoming malnourished. Every day there thousands of preventable deaths predominantly in under 5s due to malnourishment.

These are not numbers the UK can tackle in isolation. The scale of the problem is huge and overwhelming and only likely to get worse as aid budgets get slashed and climate change worsens. Globally other countries who tend to be welcoming to refugees are closing their borders.

I would argue the most effective use of aid would be to support refugees in neighbouring countries. It’s a dollar a day to support a Sudanese refugee in Chad for example versus whoever many £s is spent on accommodation, food, processing costs for someone who arrives in the UK.

2dogsandabudgie · 21/09/2025 15:35

GreenFairy93 · 21/09/2025 14:01

Obviously not. But that's not the question.

The question is AIBU to be shocked that people have dehumanised refugees to the point where this behaviour is acceptable in public spaces now. Because honestly, I'm fucking shocked.

You are always going to get extremes on Facebook and other online platforms. Nothing shocks me anymore with what people say. It's been like that for a long time. Remember all the vile comments made about Caroline Flack and then when she died those same people were probably saying how awful it was and telling everyone to be kind.

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 15:43

It’s an existential crisis at this point. There’s nothing either Tories or Labour can do. They’re both torn between two halves of an electorate which believe diametrically opposed things. It’s not a matter of small differences; on every single issue, whether it’s net zero, illegal immigration, defence - there’s no politics of compromise or consensus on these issues, and they can’t square the circle. Hence being cut up by Reform.

EasternStandard · 21/09/2025 15:43

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:21

Perhaps the international law, which was written in the 1940s before the internet, social media, immigration lawyers making $$$, charities making $$$, smuggling gangs making $$$, and millions of largely young men with access to all of those, is no longer credible but is seen as magic by those who can exploit it? But no so much by those who are paying for it and living with the consequences.

It is burgeoning and on a massive scale now, the profits are huge. I think each case will be different some seeking asylum will have a terrible background, it’s not so much an individual thing more a question of how this system can keep going given SM, exploitation and vast profits plus climate change.

I do feel for some on an individual level, whilst questioning the overall system.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:44

Welshwabbit · 21/09/2025 15:25

This is an extremely odd take. Many of the most vociferous protests against immigration, asylum seekers and "the boats" come from areas where there are very few asylum seekers - or indeed people of non-white ethnic origin. One example is mid Wales where I grew up, where there was a well-publicised protest earlier this month. I now live in London and my children go to (good) state schools with a large percentage of children who do not speak English as a first language, whereas at my primary school in mid Wales pretty much everyone spoke, and still speaks, English or Welsh as a first language. The percentage of people expressing anti-immigrant sentiment was much higher where I grew up.

How many is very few? Less than 100, or 1000, or 10,000? There were “only” 138 men in the hotel in Epping, yet two have been charged (one found guilty to date) with twelve counts of assault and sexual assault between them. I’d be protesting too, if they were near me or a local school.

Netcurtainnelly · 21/09/2025 15:44

People are sick and tired of unvetted, unknown men coming into the country and getting free board and lodgings.
Some are not even fleeing war.

We can't sustain all these people. It costs alot of money too.
We have homeless veterans and veterans living in tents that need help. Charity begins at home.

Yabu to not understand that people are getting fed up with it.

LeaAndDer · 21/09/2025 15:45

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 14:19

It isn’t 4 star accommodation, the amenities and appliances are usually removed. It’s a room with beds in it.

The Home Office doesn’t issue phones as standard. If phones are issued, it’s usually from a charity (which we don’t pay for).

£9 per week isn’t good pocket money. You couldn’t live off it, and neither could I.

It’s not “my” GP appointment. It’s “a” GP appointment.

I don’t know why people continue to pedal these absolute myths.

Sadly you believe what you have written.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:45

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:32

Fancy being any clearer?

They get £9.95 if food is included with their accommodation. £49.18 if not.

They’re just the facts. Not really up to us what they spend it on in either case.

Perhaps they are getting money elsewhere. You know, illegally. Oh, and evading tax at the same time. Nice, honest, gentlemen.

EasternStandard · 21/09/2025 15:46

Clavinova · 21/09/2025 12:52

ForgetMeNotRose
Ukrainian refugees were given vastly more government support than refugees from other countries

The Ukrainian scheme was sold to the British public on the basis of offering temporary sanctuary, with the expectation that most refugees would return home when they are able. That may not turn out to be the case but that was how the scheme was presented.

It wasn’t asylum was it? But a humanitarian scheme ie visa that will end at some point.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:46

LeaAndDer · 21/09/2025 15:45

Sadly you believe what you have written.

Facts? Yes. Yes I do.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:47

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:45

Perhaps they are getting money elsewhere. You know, illegally. Oh, and evading tax at the same time. Nice, honest, gentlemen.

I’ve said this to you in another thread - you’re very suspicious. It can’t be a healthy way to live.

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:48

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:47

I’ve said this to you in another thread - you’re very suspicious. It can’t be a healthy way to live.

Have you considered that you may just be naive?

LeonardoDiCaprio · 21/09/2025 15:54

Goldenbear · 21/09/2025 15:01

"I do they personally do", chatting shit!

I made a typo. Gosh horror. I know people who have left the UK to avoid an increased tax burden. I directly gave you an example. My friend in investment banking (Goldman Sachs) left London for New York City. Didn't want to be taxed in the UK on his global assets and income so he just left.

I know many people who have packed off and moved to Dubai as well.

DH and I will be in the UK for a few more years till the youngest has finished uni and has got their career set up. Then we'll enjoy our retirement far away from here.

Knickers still twisted?

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:55

usernamealreadytaken · 21/09/2025 15:48

Have you considered that you may just be naive?

Every single thing an immigrant or asylum seeker does, or anything is claimed about them, you question and try turn into a negative.

You’ve been doing it across various threads for days now.

Even when things are based in fact - like amounts of money given to asylum seekers “yeah but they get takeaways so that can’t be true.”

Yesterday you told another poster that large quantities of men just pretend to be gay to gain asylum, and have indicated that Afghanistan is actually a safe place to be. Which is obvious nonsense.

I don’t know why you have a deep seated distrust for people from a different background to you, or why you find it so hard to believe that people have a genuine need for support, or genuinely intend to work here and better both their lives and our communities.

But you do seem to have an inherent issue with migrants and asylum seekers and will turn anything, including fact, into a negative narrative.

smallpinecone · 21/09/2025 15:55

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2025 15:47

I’ve said this to you in another thread - you’re very suspicious. It can’t be a healthy way to live.

Nor is it healthy or particularly sensible to blindly trust people, assume they all have good intentions and they hold the same values and principles as you.

Why get personal with other posters? There’s no need.