Think it's odd I've been left out ??

[PeacheyPeach]

Have been good friends for about 8 years with someone who is getting married this year. They are having a destination wedding which I'm not attending but it is only family going
Looking through my Instagram this week and noticed she has had a hen weekend with a large group this was the first id heard about it!
There was a few people there that I know she doesn't even like and has had nothing but bad things to say about them!!
Sort of can't believe I've not been invited, especially when I have been there for her a lot over the years and thought we had a nice friendship!
AIBU ? Has anyone else been in this situation?

It is odd

Any disagreements? Difference of opinions? A long time between seeing each other? Long distance between the two of you?

Has someone organised it on her behalf?

When someone shows you who they are, listen. And remember, if someone is talking about others to you, they’ll be talking about you to others.

Take this as a lesson learned and step back from the friendship xx

Sorry OP - can imagine that hurt,

Are you a similar age to her friends?
Was it a night out and if so is there any previous issues she might have thought of? E.g causing a scene!
Anyone else in the group not like you?
Could they all be local people and you further out?

Are you going to ask about it? Tricky one.

No disagreements, was only socializing with her a couple of weeks ago, everyone who was there is in my contacts so it's not like it was someone I didn't know organizing.
I must have thought we were closer than what we actually are I guess

Yes I’ve been in this situation. My sister lives abroad, and was getting married there. It worked out too expensive for myself and my family to attend so we explained and as a result, she had a hen party here at home and I wasn’t invited. I did feel hurt, but it just shows people’s true colours. Possibly the hen was organised by another friend who genuinely didn’t think to invite you? Try not to dwell on it x

Yes we all similar ages, I think what hurt is seeing pics of her with people who have caused her troubles and she hasn't had a nice word about them and also they've not had nice things to say about her , I've not got involved I've kept out of it all and been neutral and I'm the one left out, I don't think I'll say anything tho i won't give them the satisfaction!!

She sounds like a very unkind person. Have it out with her.

@Glitterballofdreams your own sister 😭 that's harsh
Yes I'm not going to dwell on it, I'm not usually that bothered about things like this, I' don't go in for drama etc, I just wanted to know that I'm not odd for feeling a bit strange about not being invited 😂

My friends was organised by her sister. She didn’t think to ask if her friends had changed since school and didn’t invite her ‘close’ friends but only her childhood ones.
Could be someone a tad obtuse organised it for her? My own MOH was bloody awful too tbh.

No it's been organized by someone who knows me very well 😄 ( hey maybe it's me 😭)

I’d be hurt too. I’d like and comment on all the photos but that’s just me!

@rainbowstardrops yes when I see her next I'll ask her all about it if she has a good time etc! She will probably tell me how fabulous it was!

Rather makes you wonder what she says about you behind your back!

And what would that achieve?!

OP, it's hurtful. I had similar. My advice is say nothing, rise above it, recalibrate the friendship in your own head, stay in touch if you choose to

From what you say about her bad mouthing other people and some of these women at the hen do bad mouthing the bride to be then there doesn't sound much " nice" about this friendship group.

I think you are well out of it OP. Concentrate on other friends who aren't so unpleasant and who actually like each other and don't just pretend to and then snide behind each other's backs.

Would you really do that? I don't see how it would help you to feel any better about the situation

@PeacheyPeach

Perhaps it comes down to the person organising it not wanting to invite you?

I'd drop your friend a message and say you saw the hen party photos online and felt rather sad that you weren't invited, and thought you'd just ask why in case you'd done something to upset her.

I did say that’s just me! I’d be too pissed off and upset to say nothing, so showing that you’re aware you’ve been left out, sends a message.
I appreciate that others wouldn’t do this but I would 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would prepare yourself to find out that it isn't only family going to the destination wedding. Guests are usually paying for themselves for the most part and sometimes the number of guests subsidises the wedding itself so I would be surprised if it was family only.

Well if she does then you’ll know the friendship means more to you than it does to her and you can go forward how ever you choose to.

Also OP perhaps she slags off all her friends. Slags off her other friends to you and you to them resulting in the person organising thinking that she doesn't want to invite you.

Yes this group is made up of fake friends by the looks of it, ive never got involved with all of that because I'm quite happy in my own life so don't want anyone's dramas. But have always been there for the bride, thought we were good friends and our families were good friends.
Im just glad that I've not invested to much emotionally really, I will rise above it of course and she will never know that I've had these thoughts about it, but I'm not going to be that quick to be such good friends, and when she has issues I'm sure her ' hens " can help her out!!!

I feel "rise above it" is why some people get away with treating others like dirt.

@Winter2020 I actually think she just uses everyone, everyone probably serves a purpose and she is just out for herself.
I don't have room for people like that in my life