Think it's odd I've been left out ??

[PeacheyPeach]

Have been good friends for about 8 years with someone who is getting married this year. They are having a destination wedding which I'm not attending but it is only family going
Looking through my Instagram this week and noticed she has had a hen weekend with a large group this was the first id heard about it!
There was a few people there that I know she doesn't even like and has had nothing but bad things to say about them!!
Sort of can't believe I've not been invited, especially when I have been there for her a lot over the years and thought we had a nice friendship!
AIBU ? Has anyone else been in this situation?

Don’t waste another second talking to her, or even thinking about her.

Block her, delete her, unfriend her, whatever you need to do to ensure you never see her again.

Hi yes I have. Best friends for years, since school. Shared a hobby together. They moved away and made new friends obviously. Followed each other on Facebook and texted different things and obviously re birthdays and Christmas. They went on same holiday every year at same time then around 7 years ago at their holiday time there's bit of a cryptic Facebook post "to those that know". Kind of guessed what it was but gutted to see the wedding pic next day. I still to this day don't know why I wasnt told. I wouldn't have flown out there but would have loved to send a card and present. Probably one of the most hurtful things someone has done to me tbh. No longer friends.

Stuff like this happened to me more times than I care to remember when I was younger. I am a really good listener, would give advice, always the one friends went to to off load about the wanker boyfriend....then I'd find out there'd been a party/meetup/ plans and I'd not be invited! Almost like I wasn't considered unless I was being a listening ear.
Personally I wouldn't go fishing around asking why I wasn't invited. Don't be surprised if she tries to contact you all breezy sooner than you might think. Don't be available, be busy and unless she's thick as mince she'll take the hint eventually.

I posted something similar a couple of months ago and was told IWBU for expecting to be included.

Didn’t stop me from being very upset. I’ve now taken a huge step back from the friendship in question.

I’ve had very similar. She even borrowed lanterns for her wedding from me but didn’t invite me. My in laws live really close to where it was too !!! Anyway I suggest read the latest book my Mel Robbins called ‘ Let Them’. She discusses dealing with something v similar. Really helpful book.

I had this exact thing happen with close friend. I invited her to my hen and she couldn’t come due to health reasons which obviously was completely fine but she didn’t invite me to her big hen a year later. I went to the wedding and was sat on a table with all her bridesmaids who I’d met several times before and had all been on the hen. The friendship fizzled out, which was sad at the time but guess just one of those things.

Know how you feel. I was friendly with someone who had lost her husband, I always ensured she was included in outings etc. went to see numerous films together (many that I did not want to see) as otherwise she would not have gone. Took her along to shows and theatre performances even when I was going with my husband (he was very tolerant) again to ensure she did not miss out. Then there were a couple of films I wanted to see but she said she did not fancy them (I didn’t fancy many of her films, but still went). The final straw came later on when I discovered she had arranged to see a show with a mutual acquaintance but had not invited me. When I asked she said ‘I thought you would be working’ (try asking) the acquaintance later told me that she had been informed that I had been invited but had declined to go. Friendship well and truly over.

I wasn’t invited to a friends fortieth and I noticed she didn’t even post about it on social media. It’s only because someone else tagged her that I saw that she’d had a huge weekend with around forty friends dancing and singing and what have you. She called me up when she realised I must have seen it and said she didn’t think I’d enjoy it and that’s why she hadn’t invited me but our friendship never recovered.

What a horrible thing to say to OP. Thankfully, other posters have been kind and supportive and from OP's responses on this thread, she seems a very nice person.

Id do shock react or laugh react on her posts/pics and say AWKWARD!!
Then leave it.
Do it when she is unlikely to see the post for a while. Then defriend

Well that saves you the price of a wedding present doesn’t it?!

Oh that’s not nice, I would feel very hurt by this as well.

Like many others have said, if she’s socialising with loads of people who she doesn’t normally speak kindly of, then imagine what she’s saying behind your back, especially as you’ve not been invited. And how very 2 faced of her as well. I would absolutely ask the question of why weren’t you invited and how it made you feel to be left out, hold people accountable for their crappy behaviours x

H’excellent idea!

Maybe you aren't as close as you thought...

So much for "good friends". I suspect you'll never hear from her again. There's no way she could have chosen to have this hen do, invite a whole load of people you know, post the photos online - and think you wouldn't see it all! She's deliberately being utterly horrible, dump her from your life and your thoughts immediately. There are no possible excuses.

About time too.....

Absolutely spot on advice.
Something that took me 50 odd years to perfect, but im on it now.
I think its a common flaw in human nature to disbelieve what we see and HOPE we got it wrong.
Rarely is that the case.
To the thread poster.... dont waste time on people who find it so easy to let you down. Life Really Is TOO SHORT!

Have you felt used by her in the past? Maybe she knows you won't put up with that? It seems weird that she's inviting people she can't stand but not you, who is meant to be a good friend.

Ha ha. I think dignified silence is the way to go tho’

My daughter went strange 2 years ago. Suddenly went frkm being very close to ghosting basically.
I asked why, and the answer was so off the wall, twisted and far from the truth, but she slipped up when she picked on the fact that I went to see a film at the cinema without her.
I reminded her that she actually took her kiddies to see that film, forgot the changing bag and rang to ask me to take it to her. I zoomed over to the venue, thinking I was going to see the film too only for her to take the bag and thank me... bye....!
I was so hurt I went to the other cinema 6 miles away and saw the film anyway
Later I was singing the theme tune when she asked had it seen the film, she was gutted when I told her yes, as the kids had played up so she cancelled seeing it.

I vowed right then that I would Never put myself in that position again, where I made myself weak so she could make up excuses for her bad behaviour, knowing her words were untrue.

I promise you, if you belittle yourself by asking why you were omitted, she will reduce you even further.
You have seen her in technicolour. It cant be any clearer.
Head up, shoulders back and walk.

I’d have to message and ask. Even if you get back an unpleasant overly brutal answer, at least you’d know. 🤷‍♀️

It’s her not you. She moans about people and doesn’t see them as true friends. She does it to you as well as the others. I had a friend who did similar 30th birthday went out with a group of friends “you should have come” conversation. It’s a bit difficult when you are not invited. This kind of scenario kept occurring I thought you’d be busy/working/to far for you. I could see many other toxic behaviours in the end and I walked away.

Personally I know that anyone that talks about others to you in a nasty way. Is also talking about you in same way to them. Best avoided.

And you're an attention seeker

Its a real possibility that you didn't receive an invite to the hens party by mistake. If that's the case and you say or do nothing the bride might think you snubbed her.
However if it wasn't a mistake your friend and/or the hen party organiser were being nasty. Either way you need to know.
Suggestion, like the posts and comment apologies you weren't there as you didn't know it was happening.
Say nothing else and leave it there. The reaction will let you know exactly what the situation is and you know what to do if you were deliberately excluded - say nothing, keep your dignity and don't bother with that friend in the future.