to ask if you are not a lady who lunches but don't have a job what do you do all day?

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

I am a SAHM with 4 kids. I didn't want to become a SAHM but 3 are ND and it soon became obviously that one of us had to provide stability. Fast forward many years and my kids range in age from 25 to 15. I am in the process of getting divorced due to him finding a younger woman with only 1 child and basically leaving, not only me but his kids.

Sorry but didn't want to drip feed.

Personally, even though my kids now range in age from 25 to 15 I still struggle to find time in the day to eat let alone lunch! I'm finding it increasingly offensive that my ex thinks I'm sat at home doing bugger all but how do you explain the endless toll of mundaneness that is my daily life! DD2 fell desperately ill and spent 11 days in hospital but doesn't want to defer uni so I spent 3 days buying and making over 30 individual parcelled meals which I then spent another day taking up to her and cleaning her flat. At the same time DS1 has just finished school and I honestly thought that 6th form would have prepared him better for going out to work! He didn't even know to collect his exam certificates (though that may well be my bad as his two older sisters didn't need prompting). Trying to get him to think through application forms for apprenticeships and temporary jobs for Xmas is driving me insane. I'm also tiling the bathroom as we're going to have to sell the house and I would like to make as much profit as possible. This is all on top of all the other mind numbingly boring jobs such as dinner, cleaning, housework and helping the youngest with her homework.

I'm also having to look at retraining as, of course, I gave up my wonderful career and now need to rebuild. As for ex - he does f^&*k all. Doesn't believe the kids need him and can't be bothered to respond whenever they ask anything of him. At some point I shall have to show my son how to use a razor.

What's your day been like?

Yes you never know how life is going to turn out, that’s the problem. You make decisions based on the situation at the time. Then when it goes pear shaped, you need to start again.

@Enigma54 Couldn't agree more. Would have scoffed at women not protecting their future when I was younger. As a 50 something am feeling incredibly foolish but my kids are learning from my mistakes which is the only positive I can take from this.

I know, It’s lesson to be learned.
My dad used to go on and on about pensions when i was younger. I never listened and was in and out of stupid jobs for years, after quitting teaching. Now that I’m ill and can’t work, I’m fretting.

I am drumming pensions and financial independence into my daughter, right left and centre!

Sorry your ex has/ is being an arse.

I'm nearly 70 now, and you can all judge my success and work. DC is now fledged but in low paid employment. I was a very well paid consultant until I was 50, so I put savings away in pensions and property. DH is a SME entrepreneur, and still running it (trying to retire, at 70). I deal with matters domestic and financial. But I have spent 10 hours per week for 11 months dealing with technical and legal pension issues to try to get ahead of IHT issues. Not because anything has been done incorrectly at any stage, but just because the company we set the SIPP up with 20 years ago is no longer focused on customers like us, and because finding an alternative has been time-consuming. I am not complaining about any of this. I find it interesting, and stimulating, mainly because it keeps me in my professional world where I was very chilled. I would struggle to be interested in fence disputes or going to the pub. I mainly know professional people as friends and acquaintances.

@Enigma54 you are totally right to hammer this message.

No. I will be on pension credit if it exists then but I probably wont get to that age anyway.