to ask if you are not a lady who lunches but don't have a job what do you do all day?

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

I am a SAHM with 4 kids. I didn't want to become a SAHM but 3 are ND and it soon became obviously that one of us had to provide stability. Fast forward many years and my kids range in age from 25 to 15. I am in the process of getting divorced due to him finding a younger woman with only 1 child and basically leaving, not only me but his kids.

Sorry but didn't want to drip feed.

Personally, even though my kids now range in age from 25 to 15 I still struggle to find time in the day to eat let alone lunch! I'm finding it increasingly offensive that my ex thinks I'm sat at home doing bugger all but how do you explain the endless toll of mundaneness that is my daily life! DD2 fell desperately ill and spent 11 days in hospital but doesn't want to defer uni so I spent 3 days buying and making over 30 individual parcelled meals which I then spent another day taking up to her and cleaning her flat. At the same time DS1 has just finished school and I honestly thought that 6th form would have prepared him better for going out to work! He didn't even know to collect his exam certificates (though that may well be my bad as his two older sisters didn't need prompting). Trying to get him to think through application forms for apprenticeships and temporary jobs for Xmas is driving me insane. I'm also tiling the bathroom as we're going to have to sell the house and I would like to make as much profit as possible. This is all on top of all the other mind numbingly boring jobs such as dinner, cleaning, housework and helping the youngest with her homework.

I'm also having to look at retraining as, of course, I gave up my wonderful career and now need to rebuild. As for ex - he does f^&*k all. Doesn't believe the kids need him and can't be bothered to respond whenever they ask anything of him. At some point I shall have to show my son how to use a razor.

What's your day been like?

Firstly, I'm sorry you're doing it all on your own. I went to finish my level 3 counselling course and had a subarachnoid hemorrhage so couldn't finish. Now I'm a volunteer at my local community centre. I do internal training for free and help people find their skills when they suffer with low self esteem. (From school leavers to adults out of work). I love it.
My DS is still in primary school and has SEN so when he starts secondary school I can look for paid work without CV gaps.

I don't really understand what you're asking?

Clean house
Workout
Prep dinner
Run any errands such as supermarket
Boredom
School run

I've stopped work a few months ago as DD16 has health problems and at online school. So I support her, make her meals and eat them with her.But mainly I
clean the house,walk the dog, go to a yoga class, admin for both girls/family, do laundry. Today I had a nap. Weekends we tend to have people over or go away so organise the house for guests or pack. I love it compared to going to work!

He left it all to you to do for years including time for himself to shag away and won't have a clue what you do. I would ignore him as much as possible.

Lunch, of course

I just eat lunch all day long

Long gym sesh
House work
Dinner prep
Gardening
Errands/life admin
Occassional DIY
Visit elderly parents
Walk
Occasional coffee daye with friends
Rarely bored. Covent compared to working.

Put washing on. Other housework as needed. Coffee. Toast. Wordle. Shower. Tesco. Put stuff away. Scroll Mumsnet. Get dinner ready. Netflix. Bed.

Get up at 6, wake ds10 at 6:30, he goes to school 12 miles away due to it being the only special needs school nearby so bus comes to collect him at 7:30, wake dd15, ds13 and dd10 (ds10 twin) at 7, get breakfast and cups of tea done, get ds10 dressed as he can’t himself very well/fast, get his snacks/bag/drinks bottle sorted and load him on bus, get dd21months up and nappy changed, breakfast and then all leave the house at 8, dd15 and ds13 school is only 10 minutes walk so thats great but they start at 8:30, dd10 school is 2 mile walk, get back from school run at about 9:30, put peppa pig on for dd21month and get housework done, get lunch, clean away after lunch, do laundry, and head back down to pick up dd10 at 2:30 for 3:15 pick up, come home about 4 start prepping dinner, dd15 and ds13 come home before i get back so their school uniforms are generally already in the washing machine, ds10 bus comes back about 4:30, put his uniform in the washing machine plus any accident clothing (he wees himself at school almost everyday) have dinner, bath dd21month book and bed 7:00, bath ds10 (he can’t do it himself) bed at 8:00, dd10 bed at 9:00 and dd15 ds13 bed at 10 aaaannndd breathe lol xx

Do you have a DP or DH? You don’t mention one.

Didn't mean to quote.

I go to support groups a few times each week and get taken out shopping by my mum or boyfriend.
At home I do simple crafts.

I need a nap after just reading about your day!

School runs, cleaning, laundry, gardening, shopping, DIY and house maintenance, errands, ironing, endless cooking, visiting neighbours and elderly relatives, hospital/dental appointments, volunteering with church and school, MN when I have time to sit down. DH works and earns the money - I do absolutely everything else.

So just don’t do all of those things, tiling your bathroom is not going to make any discernible difference to the sale price, eapecially if it’s a DIY job. Your daughter did not need you to prep and deliver 30 meals, if she’s at university presumably there is a McDonalds or just eat in the vicinity, or a supermarket that delivers or her local shop sells pot noodles? If your son doesn’t collect his results then that’s on him, he still has the results and the school would probably post them to him.

I've got a 3yo doing mornings at preschool, so I am with at least one child most of the day. During her preschool hours I'm doing usual chores, errands, taking older dc to appointments, sewing repairs, checking on my other property, bookkeeping, school visits, OU study. When she's not at preschool I take her to classes, the library, zoo, park etc, so we're out of the house. I have plenty to keep me busy.

We have a lot of animals and I walk my daughter's dogs at lunchtime, so dog walks take up about four hours of my day. Myself and my daughter have ponies, I bring them onto hard standing during the day and feed hay, now I have to go out and lean the corral of shit, that will be another hour and half, before I put them back out onto their summer grazing. No time to exercise or groom them today, they will get cuddles as I clean up around them. I have cleaned the kitchen, (always takes about an hour as we have no dish washer thanks to water pressure issues) and done a bit of housework. Half an hour training our new puppy and about another hour of one on one time with an elderly dog in the last stages of kidney disease that is getting whatever she wants, when she wants it. I have a very part time journalism job for one publication and I spend a couple of hours a day looking for more freelance work as I try and build my career back up again. I used to earn my living as an author but have lost a lot of my confidence, so part of my day will go on trying to write a chapter and crying. I really should give up, it would free up a lot of time. I do all the DIY and land management, which has a seasonal pattern to it, as DH is not interested. I also do work on my DD's house to help her out and run errands for her, so I am still a bit of a support for her. I love my animals very much but housework is mind numblingly boring and I miss the sense of being needed that I had when my kids were little. I am keeping my fingers crossed that a couple of regular freelance gigs that people have been talking to me about are going to come to fruition as this would transform my life. In the meantime, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am bloody lucky to have a good life and a family who love me very much. I am trying very hard to get back to being the person I was before I had kids and before menopause!

Is everyone a stay at home Mum because of a rich husband? Surely that makes a big difference to what you do?

Been a sahm of school age DC and now teens....I potter around at home, doing chores...laundry, cooking etc. I shop for food several times a week. Occasional walks and the odd swim. I do sit, drink coffee and watch a lot of TV.. sometimes I nap. 😂I actually love it but I am job hunting...both my DC will be adults soon and I'm only in my forties!

I try to go out once a day, usually to choir or recorders or band but sometimes just to tesco.

i sit and read

i cuddle my cats

i’m retired on medical grounds and use a wheelchair.

one outing a day is about all I can manage hence why I spend so much time on Mumsnet

Really good food options that you have listed there , or maybe the OP actually cares about what her Daughter is eating. Living on McDonald's, and pot noodles are hardly going to aid her Daughters recovery!

I'm a SAHM but on the two days DD is at nursery I do the following;
Drop DD at nursery
Go to the stables and ride two horses
Teach either exercise or zumba course
Clean the bathroom
Sometimes I meet friends for coffee, bible study or go for a bike ride.

When DD is at home she helps me clean kitchen/wash up/sort out washing/ polishing / hoovering. We also go.to play groups, meet friends at the park or soft play, see Nanny and Grandad, that sorta thing.

If I had more time tbh Id spend more time with horses!

I squeeze a lot of the things mentioned around having a job. If I didn't work I would do all the same things but more slowly I guess. Except for the preparing and delivering 30 meals.....I feel I want more details on why this was necessary....I guess there are circumstances it might be but not all that many

As little as possible to be honest.

youngest has just started year one. When she started reception last year, I had a lovely routine of dropping her off, going to the gym for an hour, walking the dog for an hour and then coming home, doing a little bit of cleaning (dh and I clean as we go so there is never masses to do in one go), and then I’d sit on my arse watching YouTube until 3pm. I would maybe prep some dinner but dh does most of the cooking.

Then I fucked my back at the gym two months in and it’s still fucked. Now I just walk the dog and no gym. My disc is taking a LOOOOOONG time to heal.

I love it. I’ve been a SAHM for 23 years now, since I was 22 years old. (Aside from when I worked in a school for a year and then as a carer for another year, both part time - we were living in London and rent went up so I needed to. We moved to a much cheaper area after those two years)

I have big age gaps with my 3 children (23, 11 and 5), so there’s been 4 years at a time where I’ve had one small child at home with me, then I’ve had a few years alone on my arse - which will be forever now as my youngest is my last.

I am very happy. Eveyone in my family is very happy. I never wanted a career at all, I just wanted to do this.

Dh works from home 2/3 days a week so we get to hang out inbetween his meetings.

I do all that and work full time. Would love to be able to manage the chores at a more leisurely pace!