Very strange situation

[gunnermartin]

Just had a call from a friend, who was distraught after a phone call she’d had from a mum from school. (She’s given me permission to post as we are both baffled).

Last night her daughter had a friend over (they’re 10). She was making burgers for dinner and the friends daughter came in saw what she was making and said she didn’t like them can she have a bowl of super noodles instead. Friend offered her alternatives but she said no she wanted noodles. So she made her two packets of them.

Anyway this morning she’s had a call off the other girls mum saying the child went home saying she was starving- the mum asked if she’d eaten dinner and the child said my friend had made her own two children burgers but told the friend who had come round quite aggressively apparently that there wasn’t enough for her so she would have noodles as only her own children were allowed burgers.

Thankfully my friend has an all day ring doorbell inside to watch her dogs in the kitchen, which also records conversations so she had the full dialogue on film, which she downloaded and sent over to the other child’s mother after the call!

Friend is saying she doesn’t want the child in her house anymore and feels bad for her child as they are friends but I’ve also told her I wouldn’t want her in there either!

How utterly bizarre, although preteen kids can sometimes say weird stuff for drama/attention. What was the mum's response to the video? I wouldn't want her back either if she was making up lies like that.

mountain out of a molehill.
I wouldn’t be that involved tbh . All seems very dramatic reactions.

I mean it's not great that a little girl lied, but personally I think not having her in the house again is an overreaction. She's a ten year old, they make mistakes.

I wouldn't want my kids in a house where they were being filmed.....

This.

That's way weirder than the noddle issue.

My guess would be the child is probably not allowed to have super noodles for dinner as its not exactly a healthy meal - so is blaming your friend rather than tell her mum that's what she asked for.

But yeah the filming is weird. And I wouldn't have her back round.

I hope the mother of the girl had a serious talk with her about telling lies and putting her in such a position.
I wouldn't want the girl in my home after that either as you'd never know what she might invent next.
Hard lesson, but learn it she must.

I don't think the filming is weird. I have a camera pointing at my garden where the kids all play together as one or two of them are prone to lies and tale telling. It's been a godsend!

I'd be wary having this child in my home again too. My going forward would also depend though on the liar's mum's reaction. Was she mortified? Has her child been told off for lying? Did the mum apologising for ringing up and having a go?

The filming thing is bizarre.

But the main issue is she is a very untrustworthy child who I would never allow in my house again. She could accuse you of something much more serious and this is a real worry.

Camera inside is definitely weird and creepy! What if it has been hacked? We're often in various states of undress in our house, sometimes including the kids friends (getting changed for hot tub, etc.)

Wouldn't want any of that all over the Internet.

I feel bad the girl’s mother didn’t trust enough. It seems sad to me that evidence had to be sent over for something like that.
Both of my dc had friends round who would leave all their vegetables or scrape beans off toast and only eat toast and sometimes my daughter came home hungry and said she had only been given spaghetti with cheese on top. Neither I or the other parents took issue with it because we know what children can be like. I also used to ask in advance what sort of food to cook for their dinners and it often made no difference to the outcome!
In this case OP, the two girls are friends. It would be a shame if one were never allowed back because of this. It will likely escalate into Mothers falling out, children falling out and lots of unecessary stress. I think the solution is to have a laugh over it, get to know the other mum, chat about these sorts of things and compare notes about what they eat at home.

Not really. People have cameras in their home for all kinds of perfectly rational reasons.
It's not some great child sex abuse ring conspiracy.

What was the other mother's reaction to finding out that her child had lied?

To be honest, I'd be uncomfortable with my children going to a house where they were being covertly filmed by indoor cameras but maybe that's what people do now?

I don't think the filming is bizarre, the op has explained why she has it.
The future of the friendship would depend on the mother's reaction to seeing the video.

Agree.

The other child's mother probably said 'What did you have for dinner?' when she'd gone home and the other child said 'Supernoodles' and the mother said 'You know I don't like you eating junk with no nutrition in it' and rather than admitting she had been offered something more substantial and had insisted on the noodles, the child pretended she'd been forced into eating them.

All the adults involved are over-reacting.

I think it's a strong reaction from your friend to a fairly typical child behaviour.

Nah, still weird and creepy

What was the mom’s reaction to the video? I suspect the little girl said it because she’s not allowed supernoodles at home.

but why so aggressive. “Thank you for looking after and feeding my child” would’ve been more appropriate!

I don't think the inside camera is that odd as it's recording a communal area, where it's unlikely children would be doing anything of a personal nature. Many homes have these ring doorbells inside now for animals etc .It's not a hidden spy cam hidden inside a clock or anything fgs.

The other mum, who made the accusatory phone call, must be mortified. Did she apologise for her daughters' lies?

The key thing here is that it's such a pointless thing to lie about. If she is lying about crap like this, then what else is she lying about?
I'd be very nervous around someone like this. If you had her in your home again, she might feel angry at being caught out and tell another, far more dangerous lie. So I agree, I wouldn't want them in my home again either.

Edit to add: I don't think it's as simple as she lied because she's not allowed supernoodles at home. If that were the case, she could just have said it was all that was offered. The fact she has fabricated a whole tale about how some kids were given other food and the parent aggressively told her she's not allowed it etc.... Red flag

What was the mothers reaction to her child being filmed.

Things like this make me laugh. Classic deflecting

I would like to know what the mum has said on hearing her DD has twisted the truth a little. Hope she apologises.

Maybe have the child over to play but make sure she is collected before the family eat dinner.

OP didn't say the child was filmed, just the audio was recorded inadvertently.

People are allowed to do that within their own home.

I think it's a classic ten year old evasion/lie about avoiding getting into trouble for actually asking for a crappy, un-nutritious meal that left her hungry, rather than anything more pathological. I think I'd be more concerned that the other child's mother (a) believed her and (b) kicked up a stink about it with the supernoodle mother.

I mean, if I were the playdate-hosting parent, the reason I wouldn't want the child in my house again would be because she had a mother who actually phoned me about something so obviously unlikely to be true.