Very strange situation

[gunnermartin]

Just had a call from a friend, who was distraught after a phone call she’d had from a mum from school. (She’s given me permission to post as we are both baffled).

Last night her daughter had a friend over (they’re 10). She was making burgers for dinner and the friends daughter came in saw what she was making and said she didn’t like them can she have a bowl of super noodles instead. Friend offered her alternatives but she said no she wanted noodles. So she made her two packets of them.

Anyway this morning she’s had a call off the other girls mum saying the child went home saying she was starving- the mum asked if she’d eaten dinner and the child said my friend had made her own two children burgers but told the friend who had come round quite aggressively apparently that there wasn’t enough for her so she would have noodles as only her own children were allowed burgers.

Thankfully my friend has an all day ring doorbell inside to watch her dogs in the kitchen, which also records conversations so she had the full dialogue on film, which she downloaded and sent over to the other child’s mother after the call!

Friend is saying she doesn’t want the child in her house anymore and feels bad for her child as they are friends but I’ve also told her I wouldn’t want her in there either!

Same. I thought this was the weirdest thing about the post. We live in a constant state of surveillance now.

I enter people's houses as part of my job, no one has ever told me I'm being filmed and at least half the people have cameras that I can see.
I wouldn't expect anyone to tell me, it's their home, for their safety. I am a person going into their home in position of trust.
....and it's because they have dogs.

Dear god, yes.

Completely sympathise with your friend, I wouldn't be happy with my child being friends with a shit-stirring liar.

No she didn’t say that at all @nomas 🤣🤣 It was filmed, and the audio wasn’t ’inadvertently’ … why are you making stuff up?? 😵‍💫

lots of people have cameras set up in their houses and for good reason,

So everyday conversations and actions are recorded?

Yes, they run continuously, I beleive they are recorded over every so often. You can check them from your phone to check on dogs etc.
99% of the time they would never be checked until something happens and you can go back and look.

Honestly, people saying shit-stirring liar - what a horrible way to talk about a child, as if she’s some kind of mastermind in this situation.

We’re talking about a young girl who is probably not allowed just to have Super Noodles for dinner and who, when asked by her mother, came up with a story that exonerated her. As a 10 yo, she probably didn’t imagine her mother would take it up with the host and i’m sure she didn’t imagine the host would send a recording of the conversation. The adults in this scenario need to calm down, remember what it felt like to be a child and recognise this for the molehill it is.

If your kids' friends get naked in your kitchen that's far weirder than having a camera for a specific purpose. I know lots of people who have cameras in their kitchen/living rooms to keep an eye on their dogs when they're at work.

If it was in the kids' bedroom or toilet then yes, that would be inappropriate. But not in a living space!

It's not like OP deliberately pressed play once the kids started talking - the camera would be filming constantly, and footage usually autodeletes within a short space of time without ever having been looked at.

Agree that I wouldn't be inviting the child back. If they lie so blatantly about something innocuous what's to stop them from lying about anything else that can't be easily disproven - child hit me/dad touched me inappropriately?

Strange situation..is filming and recording play dates.

kids lying about food isn’t “ nice” but it’s not strange.

the mum of lying kid contacting you is slightly strange because it suggests she has no idea her daughter is a dissembler.

This child probably has a very strict mother who controls her. She gets by by lying and manipulating to get by with her mother or else she knows she would get into trouble. You don't really want a liar in your house or playing with your daughter. They have very fertile imaginations and you could end up in serious trouble if she lies about something else. Try to encourage another friendship but steer your daughter away from this troublemaker as when they are teens and boys are involved, your daughter will be in for a whole basin of trouble.

Wouldn't be having the friend back.

We also have cameras around our home for various reasons.

Right. Ok.
It never occurred to me that people did this.

‘Mum, can I go round to Sarah’s house for dinner please?’
’hold on….let me call her parents and see if they have a pet camera’

🤣
people are wild. There is a singular camera in my dining room which picks up and starts recording movement in there plus part of the kitchen.
never have I once been asked by a child’s friends parent if I have one, and I’ve never thought to tell them.
its crazy that this is the sticking point for some posters.

OP - I’m curious what the child’s mum said when your friend sent her what had happened?

I suspect the Mother will kick off about her daughter being recorded as a way of saving face at her being caught out in a lie.

I would not have that child over again given her mother reaction.

Well, yes, if you have a camera and it's set to record, it's going to catch everything.

Do you have an Alexa? You know they are listening all the time, and you can go and listen to the recordings they make.

I know several people who have cameras in their houses, mainly for dogs.

It's a god send when you have dogs and have to leave them, loads of people have them.
I know a lady who recorded a house thief staring directly at her dog camera on the kitchen bench.

Whoa

It really doesn’t bother you that you’re being filmed? It’s a massive invasion of your privacy. It would be a common courtesy to let you know.

Also, why do people keep on justifying surveillance on the grounds of dog ownership? Why do people need to see their dogs 24/7? If one of them craps on the floor or barks at the postman there’s naff all that you can do about it if you’re at work or at the shops.

No Alexa, no cameras. Not even a Ring.
I am clearly a dinosaur.

10 year olds lie. Or elaborate the truth. My daughter is 11 and despite having zero reason to lie she does and I can 100% tell when she’s lying.
What did the mum say when she learnt about the recording? I hope she did a 180 and apologised.
I don’t know if I’d have her over again. I probably would on the understanding that if there was any problems the mum approached me to discuss it rather than assume her daughter isn’t full of shit

Absolutely agree. I don't get why people can't see past their own opinion.
I don't have a camera in my house but I can think logically about why other people would without accusing people of recording kids. They are perfect when you have dogs.

Did the mother know her child was going to be filmed? Before she sent her?

This is not a thread about whether it's reasonable to film in your house... (It's not even the OP doing it).

I'd be a bit concerned about the child saying your friend was aggressive with it tbh, that's an unnecessary embellishment that could lead to real problems. I don't think it's weird her mum asked about it, depending on how she approached it, but I think I might be suggesting meet ups in a neutral place going forward.