Very strange situation

[gunnermartin]

Just had a call from a friend, who was distraught after a phone call she’d had from a mum from school. (She’s given me permission to post as we are both baffled).

Last night her daughter had a friend over (they’re 10). She was making burgers for dinner and the friends daughter came in saw what she was making and said she didn’t like them can she have a bowl of super noodles instead. Friend offered her alternatives but she said no she wanted noodles. So she made her two packets of them.

Anyway this morning she’s had a call off the other girls mum saying the child went home saying she was starving- the mum asked if she’d eaten dinner and the child said my friend had made her own two children burgers but told the friend who had come round quite aggressively apparently that there wasn’t enough for her so she would have noodles as only her own children were allowed burgers.

Thankfully my friend has an all day ring doorbell inside to watch her dogs in the kitchen, which also records conversations so she had the full dialogue on film, which she downloaded and sent over to the other child’s mother after the call!

Friend is saying she doesn’t want the child in her house anymore and feels bad for her child as they are friends but I’ve also told her I wouldn’t want her in there either!

Yes I think ring door bells are weird too.

What do you gain from being able to watch your house be burgled, after the fact. It’s not a deterrent either

my local FB group ( now left as it was getting tedious) is just post after post showing ‘suspicious’ people hanging outside, dog poo, or low grade footage of offenders dressed in black with balaclavas on who will almost never get caught they are so anonymous.

All it does is increases paranoia and fear and makes people feel more unsafe.

And your point is?

The friend didn’t look through the footage on her camera to catch the child out in a lie, she looked through the footage because the other mum rang her to tell her that she hadn’t given her child the same as her own children, so friend downloaded the footage to show what really happened.

this has absolutely nothing to do with whether the friend’s children have ever lied and you know it doesn’t.

Do you think the mother actually believed that your friend wouldn't offer the child the same food as she cooked for her own kids? I think that is what would bother me the most tbh. For that reason, I wouldn't have the child over long enough to offer a meal again.

I'd be more bothered than the kid had had two pakcwts of supernoodles. Isn't that about 960calories? And then more dinner once she were home too?

I was with you until the recording of the entire conversation. If that's real then your friend is completely out of order for filming people when there's no need.

Has she had an apology? Tbh your friend was very good offering an alternative. In this s house a burger would have been served irrespective and if it didn't get eaten then it didn't get eaten! I once had a friend of ed come and quiz me while I was making shepherds pie from scratch for them. Apparently she wanted one made without onions or carrots. I just smiled and said ' that's nice dear' and dished her up a portion of what everyone else had. I tell everyone to do the same with my kids too.

We all experiment with lying as we grow up. See what we are comfortable with. See what we get away with. Obviously the truth is better. I never understand why people are so shocked at lying in children. We all lie, but they are still perfecting the skill. By the time they are teens, you won't catch them at it so much.

Here's my research which backs it up. 2 lies a day, apparently.
https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/how-do-lying-skill-and-frequency-change-through-life-childhood-old-age

I agree with this.

Lots of people have cameras for their dogs, out of my friends 5 of us have dogs and out of those 5, 3 have cameras in the living rooms/kitchens so they can see what they are up to, talk to them if needed ie telling them to be quiet if they’ve started to bark at something.
I don’t think they switch them off when they are home, it doesn’t bother me that my children are filmed in those communal areas, because everyone is fully clothed etc
I wouldn’t have a child back in my house that has shown a tendency to lie and for their parent to overreact and get slightly aggressive, in this case it was over something minor but who knows what she may come out with next.

Do people read? The op literally said she has the camera running to watch her dogs! She hasn’t done anything wrong here by sharing the footage, I would have done the exact same thing. The friends parent obviously felt so concerned at what she heard from her lying daughter, she needed to know that she was lying! She would not be allowed back in my house. What else could she lie about!

10 year old these days aren't innocent anymore if they make up lies about someone not treating them well...they are hormonal also.. next time the lie could be about the fit daddy. Let that woman keep her revolting brat in her own home.

Kids tell silly lies sometimes. It's really not a lot to get worked up over. Mother should not have reacted the way she did but it's no reason to ostracise the family forever.

The friend is a lying little shit. The sort that enjoys making up stories to try and get other people into trouble. Keep your own child well away from her. Her mother clearly endorses it and believes everything her precious darling says.

Oh dear. Both mums are overreacting, surely. The little girl made up a story about how she came to be eating noodles for dinner and now she's been found out and perhaps won't tell lies another time without thinking of the consequences.
But really if your friend is recording everything that happens in her kitchen, she ought to make people aware of it as soon as they arrive, not after the recording has been used against them!!

She's not being unreasonable. I'd be reluctant to have her back in my house too. I would expect the mum to discipline her for telling lies and I would tell the mum that although I can forgive this behaviour this once, if this happens again her DD won't be allowed to come round anymore but that I hope her daughter can make better choices going forward so that didn't happen as my DD valued the friendship as do I.

I wouldn’t have sent the film over - I wouldn’t like the thought of being filmed in someone’s house and it was unnecessary to prove it.

The child is obviously very cheeky to ask for noodles instead of what was being cooked and has then told her mum a story. I would have just told the mum the truth of what happened and hope she realised that her child was not being truthful. I would have left the ball in her court to deal with her daughter. She is 10 and probably really wanted noodles!

Really? This mum has a ring doorbell close enough to the kitchen that it recorded this conversation?

She said ring camera not ring doorbell

poor dogs and kids!

Poor dogs?? 🤣

I just think the whole world has gone mad with the filming of everything and everybody. Filming children and recording conversations is just so strange to me. I suppose it comes from the bullying I have seen in secondary schools, filming each other fighting etc.

When I read the Op earlier today, I felt 100% certain that the Op would never return. Yet another incendiary post, then…nothing. Part of an overall pattern with posts on Mumsnet these days. So tiresome.

Exactly! I was wondering if I was the only one to pick up on this, reading the first comments!

How completely out of order to invite ppl (especially children) into your house and not make them aware they are being audio, never mind visually, recorded! It’s illegal to record ppls conversations in public without their knowledge like on security cameras in pubs etc, it should be exactly the same in homes. Air b n bs are banned from putting cameras anywhere guests expect privacy like bedrooms, bathrooms and toilets but most ppl would assume if they are having a private conversation, perhaps sharing intimate and personal details, that they will not be observed by other ppl, certainly that what they say isn’t being recorded with the possibility of sharing with other ppl or using the information for god knows what.

Recording without knowledge or consent somewhere you’d expect privacy, as opposed to the street or public transport should be illegal. OP’s friend should be telling visitors and parents of their children’s friends what the set up is before inviting them round!

It’s much much more common now isn’t it? Drives me mad. Do you think it’s bots / AI? Or just general increase in flakiness.