to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL Thread 2

[GooseAndSandals]

Continuation of previous thread.

I have a friend who can be like your mum and it breaks my heart. She delights in her DC never having new stuff, not knowing that our nearest city has shops and at age 5 has never been in a toy shop!! Her DC isn’t allowed to keep things either… yet my friend has boxes and boxes of stuff in storage. I think it won’t end well when her DC realises.

That's my mother

She has a 4 bed house that's crammed with stuff for herself

5/6/7 parcels a day of clothes or tat for herself-even to this day

I was 11 when I realised toymaster (the main toy shop in my home city) actually sold toys-the window display was for 'showing toys not selling them'

I also didn't realise that clothes shops sold clothes as id never been in one

I knew my way around the local jumble sale or a bag of free clothesline you could shove your feet in shoes,they fitted (dp was horrified to learn I've never had my feet measured)

You knew not to get attached to anything as you'd get home and your stuff would be gone

I admit to buying my dcs clothes and toys from charity shops as I was a skint single mum (no help at all from anyone) but I did save up to take them to the toy shop/nice clothes as they got older and knew the difference

(They still buy from charity shops now they are older so didn't do them much harm)

I’m not posting for sympathy, it’s just good to write it out loud. I’m only staying alive to get DS to adulthood, once he’s 18 I plan to go.
I thought about going sooner but there’s no-one I trust to take care of him without taking advantage of what money I would leave him. My family are shitty selfish people I don’t have anything to do with anymore. I’ve got just over a year to go

Your DS needs you for more than 18 years xx

Im not keen on being a mother.

1. I would like to adopt a more androgynous style. Shave part of my hair, wear men's clothing, maybe a subtle tattoo. I'm not trans or gay, but really love men's style and think I would be happier wearing it. Coming from a traditional religious background, I don't think I can do this.

2. I really care about money. I never used to but now I have less I realise I would do a lot for money.

3. There is selfishness in my family I never knew was there. I have to fight it because they want me to do what is easy for them rather than what might be best for me. I love them but this realisation has shaken me

4. Schools are horrendous places on the whole to send kids.

5. I can't believe I am alive and that this is my life. It's not bad, but it is weird that I have a life. It's a weird thought I can't really explain. I keep wondering why I haven't done anything crazy because I will die one day and I just followed the normal rules of society.

Love to everyone going through a difficult time. I hope you pull through it. Xx

A lot of men do too.

You're right, they do- I was about to put that originally but I couldn't edit anymore. Seems like a lot of men are happy with a woman who isn't their idea of "perfect" as long as she has a vagina, keeps him company and looks after him. Also, just like women, many settle out of loneliness, fear, lack of confidence or pressure.

It would irrevocably damage my confidence and self of self if I found out that a man (im hetero) settled for me, which is why I would never do that to another. I never, ever want to settle and I'm happy to be single until I meet someone I feel is worth giving that up for ❤️

I know this is about you, but can I say it WILL be devastating for your DS who will just be out of childhood. Regardless of you explain it, he will come down yo the 'why was i not a good enough son for my mum' 'why was her better choice to leave me alone?'

Friends BiL killed himself, leaving Frank letters for family. His DD knows his demons, understands why he did it, will telling anyone she knows it's not her fault but confided in her aunty she doesn't believe any of it and has a huge guilt still hanging over her.

I watched a reel on fb this morning where the host said ' this world WILL NOT be a better place without you! It just won't be!' and I 100%believe that.
Ill be thinking of uou x you deserve more x

Another, more lighthearted confession (if you live in a certain part of Manchester, or lived there circa 10+ years ago) this might be outing): In my early 20s, I once pretended to like Tom Waits because I had a crush on an older musician who named his band after lyric in a TW song. I absolutely hate that folky type of music and lean more towards mainstream indie 🤣. Thankfully he didnt like that way (and I don't blame him as I was a COMPLETE brat then). Dating him would have got boring as i got older anyway- he was in his early 30s then, but still wore his shirts almost down to the navel Morrissey-style....
If you're out there, J, I'm sorry, I lied! I'm actually a raging XFM indie lover 🤣

Me too. My Dad has Dementia. I'm putting off cognitive assessments recommended by my rheumatologist.

My youngest dc is 11 and I'm a SP but I will end my own life if I'm diagnosed with Dementia.

I have no time for people on benefits, especially single mothers.

I think women that have multiple men are cheap and common as muck.

I don't agree with people having children via sperm donation.

I dislike my colleagues.

I used to be a prostitute in my early 20's and I earned a fortune.

I've loads of these.

“I think women that have multiple men are cheap and common as muck”

“I used to be a prostitute in my early 20's and I earned a fortune.”

This must cause some serious cognitive dissonance and self hate…

Male prostitute?

@TempName444567 - maybe not right now but you may find it helpful to have some grief counselling - it would give you opportunity to talk about your thoughts and feelings about this person to someone x

I haven't told anybody in real life. I don't now how to go about it
I'm not actually suicidal I love my life its full of wonderful and meaningful things. Its just that I love my son more. I'd don't want him to have the burden of my care and want him to inherit any money I do have so that its not wasted on my care. I intend to go out on a high. Deciding this has ironically given me so much peace.

I’m going through an acrimonious divorce and am on my arse with no money by the middle of the month. I’m feeling suicidal.

@toonanananaDoes anyone IRL know you’re feeling like this? Are there any local support services you could use?

@IHateSand- I have no option but to keep going. I have two DC and won’t do this to them. I’m just quickly running out of options to keep us afloat. Death seems like a very tempting option atm.

I detest my best friends adopted daughter, she is very spoilt. They have two other children naturally & are not like her.

@Plastictreees not at all.

Maybe for some but not for me.

I made my money and got on with life.

@YumYa nope.

I’m glad, but why judge those who do the same? Just curious. Assuming you are female?

@Plastictreees ah, multiple men should have been multiple fathers.

I certainly don't judge women or men that have slept with a lot of people. I think everyone should have lots of great sex when they are younger.

I despise the sound of someone using a walking stick - especially those jointed one that make a double tap noise.