to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL Thread 2

[GooseAndSandals]

Continuation of previous thread.

Hi @GooseAndSandals .

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5410631-to-ask-you-to-tell-us-something-youd-never-admit-irl?page=40&reply=147218210

Fred 1

Thanks @YumYa 😀

Hai

I am not loved, and it's me. I'm just not lovable.

I'm quite useful, though, so that's something.

That I am happy with my life on benefits.

I am disabled, and every attempt to work has left me facing a series of capability hearings, strings of meetings about reasonable adjustments that get nowhere, targets that seem to be unachievable and designed to catch you out if you're disabled, dealing with shithead customers or uncooperative departments, or fucking obnoxious colleagues that seem to get away with doing fuck all and acting like the class clown and avoiding disciplinary action by charming the pants off (sometimes literally) the management while I gave 110% of my effort and time to end up underperforming anyway. It left me feeling so depressed that I wanted to do a backflip off a motorway bridge. I'd even planned go get a full Toby carvery and a plate full of Yorkshire puddings first.

People tell me working gives your life purpose and it's proven to aid depression recovery but I've never felt more free or happy.

Can't say that to anybody though otherwise I'd get the whole "I'm not paying my taxes so you can be happy" bollocks.

I don't think I'm lovable either.

I'm done.

Oh gosh me too…useful rather than loveable!
I wonder if that’s quite a common feeling.

I also am happy living on benefits, my husband works but I get disability benefits for my 2 sons, I use it for what I used to pay for when I worked. I can't hold down any sort of jobs as my 7 year old is incredibly difficult with school and I have no skills so would struggle to get a job with decent wages anyway...even self employed cleaner didn't work out

I like to make faces at myself in the mirror when no one is looking. I often go to the bathroom just to do it.
Sometimes I just feel I need to and I don’t know why

Hope you're ok? Do you want to talk?

Your facial muscles will be nicely toned!😄

Thank you for the new thread. I hope some people who posted on the previous thread near the end find their way here.

I told everyone I gave up drinking because I just went off it.

What really happened was, one evening during the Xmas holidays I drank too much vodka too quickly so became very, very drunk. I was going to be sick so got up to go to the toilet but staggered and fell over onto the TV. Managed to make it to the toilet where I was sick and also filled my pants with diarrhoea. I remember sitting on the toilet shitting myself and throwing up into my cupped hands and onto the floor, thinking I was going to pass out and die.
I must have had a shower and gone to bed.
It was fucking terrifying.
I live alone so nobody will ever know the truth.

My neighbour was caught drink driving, I'd phoned the police as she could hardly string 2 words together.
She lost her licence for 2 years and hasn't had a drink since.
I've never told anyone but I'm secretly proud of her for stopping drinking.
I'm glad she didn't kill anyone driving as it could have been awful.

Good for you

Just be careful they don't cut them.

• I'm currently in a relationship but often think of my narcissistic abusive ex from 10+ years ago.

• when I was very young, my other very young but slightly older cousin and I did some very inappropriate things together.

• aged 14-15 my local regular takeaway owner was being very flirty and inappropriate with me when my mother sent me to get food for us. Technically I have told partners in real life, but never told anybody else and certainly not my parents as they'd of gone crazy.

• as a young child I had a phase of being honestly a bit evil at times. For example at primary school purposely damaging other classmates art work without them knowing and finding it funny seeing them upset and confused at who did it. I look back now and feel shame and regret and feel relief I grew out of behaving like that.

• I'm a very unhappy person and every day think about dying and wanting to die. It doesn't help that the world now is very depressing and feels hopeless.

I can relate to some things in your post (similar) but I've done things I regret that aren't in your post. Time to forgive ourselves and redeem. Balance the scales and be better. We can only learn from our mistakes we can't change them. Be kind to yourself as well as others. Sending strength

I'm sick to the fucking back teeth of my SIL and her husband not pulling their weight with my FIL. The man is disabled and ill, and my husband and I have to do everything becuase she is too fucking lazy. I work full time, she is unemployed and has never had a job in her life. I am this.close to blowing up at them about it. Why should I sacrifice my health and leisure time to someone who I'm not even related to!? Lazy bitch she is.

Can't you get help from the council. I don't see why anybody should be forced into being a carer.

I reported my BIL and his family to social services as his wife was having a psychotic episode and no one was looking out for their youngest.

I have inherited some money and no one but the solicitor knows. Not a life changing amount, but I wasn't anticipating anything.

I shouldn't ever have been a mother. I love my son so much, but his childhood was chaotic because of me, and he deserves and deserved so much more.

I'm letting everyone down and I'm spending way too much time lately trying to work out how I can just disappear. The only thing keeping me here is how it would affect my elderly parents if I just vanished.