Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

This.

What a load of nonsense about nothing. It’s not bullying - yes it isn’t particularly professional by the teacher but it’s not bullying and it is certainly not something to complain to the school about.

There is no maybe about it. He gave the detention and isolation as a consequence for talking. The kid took it , without any lip and walked when asked. OP agrees that her son should do the detention and isolation, she’s not disputing the behaviour and agrees that her kid shouldn’t have been talking.

There was no need for the clapping and encouraging the other boys to do it too. None at all. That was purely for the personal gratification of the teacher. No one should be supporting that.

…indictment of…

It was a class of boys in a blooming PE lesson. Frustration my arse. You’re just making shit up out of thin air to support your narrative.

Yes that's a typo, not quite the same thing!

Yep. Im not going to engage anymore with the posters who arent grasping it. Its tedious.

Given all the talk about the real world, I have to say it’s highly amusing. Fiction writing at its finest.

The other alternative is the fact that someone could start a round of applause off at a library and most people would clap along.

But no, they must have clapped because they were frustrated the kid chatted twice during benchball 😂😂 it is quite sweet really.

I think the poll demonstrates a knee jerk reaction to a parent complaining about a teacher. They assume that it comes from an unwillingness to accept that their child could do anything wrong, so vote on that basis. And that is true of a lot of OPs, who might have complained about the actual punishment being too draconian. If that had been the case, then she would have been unreasonable. But it isn't the case at all.

Anyway, the thread itself is more balanced than the poll, and it's interesting that the teachers who have responded have backed the OP. That isn't usually the case.

He won't do it again in that teachers class though, will he? Job done.

And you were there were you? I see this all the time. And don't play down PE which is as a valid a GCSE as any other , with the course requiring significant knowledge of Biology. Students who want to persue careers in coaching, physio etc have just as much right to learn as anyone else.

So they're joining in with the teacher but against the teacher? Seems legit. I see this sort of thing all the time Conversely if a member of staff is actually unfair to a student they'll be the first ones to tell us!

I had a teacher fired for doing something similar years ago. Public humiliation is not part of the policy and procedure for disciplining children
Complaining, complaining, complain and complain until somebody does something about it

So many emotionally intelligent, insightful, eloquent and thoughtful replies on here. From teachers and from people who aren't teachers. And all of these intelligent posters have kept up with my updates too.
Thanks to all of you.

To the posters lacking in comprehension and understanding of what I have written, perhaps you were failed by the education system when you were at school. It is sort of evident in your posts.

To those of you that have said your parents would have given you short shrift and told you to get on with it if you'd been clapped at by a teacher at school, you have all demonstrated what type of adult that child grows up in to.

As for the posters who have answered in what I can only describe as an unintelligent, incomprehensible frenzy, thank you for providing a platform for some of the funniest, laugh out loud comebacks from intelligent posters that I have ever read on MN.

To the posters calling me 'that parent', I'm fine with that. By saying to me "You really are that parent" and "the teachers will condemn you as that parent", you are highlighting to me that institutional negative judgement still exists within schools, which simply makes me more determined to stand up to it.
If standing up for my child being clapped out of the gym by a teacher who was motioning at other students to join in because my DS talked to a friend during a benchball PE session makes me 'that parent', then I honestly could not care less. I am not going to cower in the face of judgement. I am going to stand up for what is right and what is wrong.

To posters harping on about "When I was at school......back in my day......"
It's 2025. Children have human rights now. Catch up.

What I wish, more than anything, is that my 13 year old had walked up towards this teacher, looked at him confidently, and said in a calm, polite and clear voice: "Why are you clapping at me Sir?". But he would never have done that, which is why he silently walked out whilst being clapped at.
I would have though. If I'd been in that hall, I would have spoken up and said "Why are you clapping at that child, Mr X ?".
But I wasn't there to challenge it. So I'm challenging it now.

I have given my son 2 very clear messages about this incident, and I have delivered each message with equal gravitas:

1. Talking in class when you shouldn't be talking is wrong. Talking when a teacher is talking is disrespectful and disruptive and that in turn means it is wrong. Talking again after already being told by the teacher to stop talking is unacceptable and I expect you to stop talking immediately when you are told to stop talking. It does not matter what lesson you are in. The school issues strict and rapid sanctions for breaking the behaviour rules and these sanctions accelerate quickly if you continue to break a rule by talking again when you have already been warned.

As a result of receiving a high level sanction at school for talking again after being told to stop, you will have sanctions at home. And I have implemented these sanctions. This is to ensure my DS understands that the school and we, as his parents, are working in partnership in our expectations of his behaviour. I have emphasised to DS that if he breaks the behaviour rules, then sanctions will be issued by his teachers, and I will stand alligned with the school on this because my behaviour expectations of him are also very high. Though he already knows this.

1. Nobody, no-one, is allowed to make you feel humiliated by their actions towards you. Not another student. Not a friend. Not an adult. Not your parents. And not a teacher. Nobody in a position of authority over you is allowed to deliberately behave towards you in a way that is designed to humiliate you. And if someone does, then it is important to call it out and challenge it. Because it is very important to stand up for yourself in life if you are treated unfairly. And because if humiliating behaviour isn't called out, then it continues.

This is to ensure my DS understands that nobody has a right to treat him in a way that undermines his dignity, so that he can grow in to an adult who understands that he has to stand up to people in life who are bullies, who seek to belittle others, and that he should not ever put up bad behaviour aimed at him from anyone. Not at school. Not a colleague at work. Not a manager. Not in a personal relationship. Never.

It's not nice, but perhaps the teacher was very exasperated. I would commiserate with DS that he was shamed, but point out that he can easily avoid this in the future. When I was at school (early Cretaceous period), the teachers used to throw the blackboard rubber at anyone talking out of turn. It wasn't made of rubber.

So they're joining in with the teacher but against the teacher? Seems legit. I see this sort of thing all the time Conversely if a member of staff is actually unfair to a student they'll be the first ones to tell us!

I despise the comments on these threads, entirely too many here who think excessive, unjust & humiliating punishments for school kids are wholly acceptable - even laudable. They aren't, it's gross & it's bullying.

School kids have NO recourse, they cannot do ANYTHING about their treatment. There's no HR, there's no 'I hate this, I'm handing my notice in'. They are absolutely at the mercy of arsehole teachers like this (who I hope are rare!). This isn't 'preparation for the real world' cos if someone acted like this in a workplace meeting there would be consequences.

I, for one, would have caused hell-up over this OP.

Interesting that you assumed that I’m playing down PE. PE lessons are by default more boisterous ,energetic and emotionally charged. More movement, competition, shouting etc. The energy is entirely different to an English or yes, Biology lesson. Especially after a competitive game. That’s what I meant.But you keep assuming away like you do about everything on this thread.

Have you brought it up with the school in the end OP? Have they engaged yet?

Clearly you’ve never had to work in a toxic environment for a psychopathic boss.

That is not disruption. And if you think it is, you need to get a grip!

Finally. Someone talking sense. I AM a teacher. In every interaction I have, I think to myself if this was MY child, how would I feel about the course of action being applied?

too many on this thread are clearly not teachers and have THE most warped idea in what discipline is.

the OP has every right to be upset. The teacher is a bully. They deserve to be struck off…. Oh wait. England abolished the GTCE years ago and now has the most bizarre way of recruiting and training teachers with nobody maintaining standards or holding the profession as a whole to a set of standards.

Are you a teacher? I doubt it. I am. Have been for 20 years. I don’t humiliate kids end of. I get excellent exam results and frequently have the “unteachable” disruptive kids in my class. And I get the best out of them. What the OP described is bullying from the teacher. Sadly YOUR response isn’t even thread worthy my dear

Absolute nonsense. They're 13! It was for a lark; teacher-sanctioned bad behaviour. Agree with PP, there is another alternative, that the pupils were actually clapping that ops kid has finally revealed he is normal and got into trouble. There was likely to be kids who were in regular trouble amongst the clappers!

And it is not just the time wasted with the clapping but calming a giddy bunch of 13 year olds down again afterwards.

As an ex teacher I am appalled at this teacher's behaviour, both towards your son and his general demeanour. In your son's case he actively encouraged other pupils to humiliate your son. You must report him to SLT and if necessary, higher.