Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

Teach him to behave and then he won’t have to worry about things like this. No it’s not great behaviour from the teacher, quite immature, but likely the teacher is either totally fed up, or just isn’t a nice person. Unfortunately your son will have to get used to not nice people and not nice things happening wherever he goes in life. This is just an early lesson. Let it go.

Yeah, that’s not on. Teachers shouldn’t be joining in with ritual humiliation. And the class doing that? That would be a punishment for the class if they started that, so why is it ok for a teacher to start it?

I’d be having words about it.

But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

Surely that was the point, to humiliate him? He might think twice about ignoring the teacher next time

As a teacher, I really didn’t like reading that. Poor lad.

Wow. Either the teacher is absolutely awful, clapping is shocking, humiliating and utterly wrong. And getting everyone else to join in too? That’s shocking. But this doesn’t really match with what your ds did? So I assume this is the straw that broke the back?

This teacher sounds like a laugh. A few years ago teachers were hitting kids, I'm sure yours can cope with applause.

The best way to detract from your own shitty behaviour is to refer to someone else’s behaviour.

That is a lesson he has learned - and you have fallen for it. He wasn’t humiliated at all. He was a pain in the arse and he’s been reprimanded for it. He get short shrift from me if he tried to deflect onto the teacher.

Wow I think all of that was OTT! Yes he shouldn’t have talked again, so perhaps a short time out would’ve sufficed. A whole day in isolation plus after school detention for talking? Really? Then the clapping on top. That’s awful. I would not be happy at all. I would definitely complain. Surely after school detentions are for much worse behaviours?

I’d be fuming

The thing is, you weren’t there and I’m afraid you can’t trust your son’s account of what happened. Perhaps call the school and ask to speak to the teacher themselves? You might find there’s more to the story.

Not great behaviour from the teacher, but your son disrupted a lesson twice, which impacts the learning of other children.

If that had happened to me as a child, my parents would have told me it was my own fault for behaving like an idiot and disobeying the teacher. It seems today that parents always leap to slate the teacher.

How about your son do as he’s told and then that type of thing wouldn’t happen?

I supported the school whenever my kids were punished. Much to my children’s shock. But I really didn’t like reading this. Extra humiliation on top of objective punishments is unnecessary. I am sure there will be the usual ‘this is why I left teaching’ comments. But from the facts you present, the teacher behaved like an absolute dickhead.

Not any more it seems. Some schools issue them for forgetting PE kit.

OP, DH and I told ours that in our day corporal punishment was allowed, although admittedly not for talking. We most certainly were shouted at for talking though. It’s not ideal, I agree, but your lad was probably being a pain in the rear. He was told off and did it again. I wouldn’t have much sympathy with mine in these circumstances and DH would have had none.

Just tell him to stop talking- job done.

Try over 40 years ago which is irrelevant anyway.

Talking disrupts class so something has to be done. But so does taking time to stop and focus on him to clap. The teacher seems weak and doesn’t know how to assert control and legitimate authority over the class without humiliating kids.

If I were you I would let it slide this time but record any other incidents and take it to head of department. Unfortunately with lack of teachers and people want to join the profession anyone that can scrape a degree is being bribed to train which means you’re opening the flood gates for bullies and those with poor motives.

It’s bullying, especially with the teacher allowing everyone else to clap

i would be putting in a formal complaint

Oh Christ he needs to learn the world is humiliating at times! He’ll get over it

Accountability needs to be had, this wouldn’t of even happened if he was doing as he was told

Sounds like they run Ready to Learn like my school - one warning and then sent to R2L for a second issue, plus an hour’s detention that day.
It revolutionised the behaviour of our pupils, it’s a very simple behaviour policy and 99% of pupils back off after a warning (so we can all get on with the lesson).

The clapping OP mentions is not part of a professional classroom.

OMG did you actually READ my post?

What do you want your son to remember from the incident? Not to disrupt his own learning in future (useful for his future success)? Or that his mum will go 'up the school' and kick up fuss if he complains about the teachers (less useful lesson)? There are some situations where it's right that we defend our children. There are some where the matter is too trivial to take the risk it will divert attention from the lesson he should have learned. I think this is in the second category.

Punishing a child for misbehaving is one thing, but there's never an excuse to deliberately humiliate them and encourage their peers to join in.

It wasn’t nice, and a teacher shouldn’t do that, but your son will be fine. Maybe he did feel embarrassed. Did he think about how it feels to be a teacher that is being ignored and having other students distracted when he’s trying to get a load of teenagers to learn something? Better to leave it than to teach him that Mummy will fight unnecessary fights for him, even when he could have avoided the situation by doing what he knew he was supposed to.

Didn't like this either- unprofessional and poor classroom management from the teacher.

Can you chat to your son to explain why he was talking ? Bored? Sat next to friend ? Impulsive and can’t help it ?

It would help him to make better choices in the future and perhaps food for thought for the teacher.

I'd be having strong words with headteacher and asking for a meeting with the teacher in question, whilst yes your son absolutely needed discipline. Humiliation isn't discipline, it's abusive. Would it be alright for your son to treat the teacher like that? Would it be alright for you to go in and treat the teacher like that? Would it be alright for the headteacher to treat the teacher (their employee) like that? Would it be alright for someone to treat their child or partner like that? Absolutely not so a teacher who is a position of trust should not be doing that to a child.