Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

He obviously is an acting up to the crowd kid and definitely not shy, if he’s been asked to leave so many lessons……he obviously doesn’t care about the consequences and he will be used to the cried witnessing it when he’s thrown out of class…..yet again

Let’s be honest. The teacher shouldn’t need to clap to cause humiliation.

These kids should be humiliated by their own behaviour to not need telling a second time (ideally they shouldn’t need telling once!)

As it turns out “Alex” wasn’t humiliated by needing to be reminded at 13yo not to interior and adult that he needed telling twice.

Now it seems he’s humiliated enough he’s actually thinking of complying with behavioural expectations.

here’s hoping he’s learned a life lesson about learning when to stop!

Agree. Lesson learnt. He’ll get over it and never do it again. Great.

Maybe the students are sick to the back teeth of him as well.

Ask the HT if they approve of routine humiliation as a disciplinary measure. I expect not. That is why there are other options such as removal from class, isolation and detention - all of which were also used for this minor infraction.

A bit of sarcastic applause from the class/teacher at being naughty though? I was a “good”/shy pupil but at 13 I’d have laughed it off.

I feel sorry for teachers, no wonder not many last long in the job.

Your son was misbehaving and was sent out of the room, he humiliated himself by acting up. If he doesn’t want to be humiliated maybe he should do as he’s told? Maybe he has learnt a lesson from today.

I can always tell which parents work in schools and which don’t.

the problem is your kid. Not the teacher.

My nephew got the same for noticing another student had dropped a book and handing it back. All staff confirmed that was the issue, nothing else happened! His mum only found out when he never returned home after school

Even if I was unhappy about how the teacher handled this, I wouldn't have given my son the evasion of focusing on this rather than his own contribution to events. (I might speak to the school, but wouldnt let my son know) The fact his classmates joined in suggests he wasn't doing something they supported either.

But I’d also add it’s a natural and good thing for children (especially the “good”/“shy”) ones to test boundaries once or twice. But part of that process is accepting the punishment/criticism and not having a parent flip out and emailing the head etc about their child being “humiliated”.

If your boss did this to you you would absolutely freak out. Why should his teacher do this just because he’s a child? So out of line and not cool. He was going to “isolation” whatever the hell that mean - is this prison? So why did he need to be humiliated in front of his peers

I was made to stand in the bin in 1990’s by my teacher during a science class for ‘being rubbish’. Not humiliated beyond teaching me not to disrupt a class when I’d already been told. And I didn’t. I really don’t see the teachers clapping as anything troubling at all.

However, you do so make your complaints if you want but first, I’d deal with your son’s behaviour.

The teacher should not humiliating any student, encouraging other students to become excited, very unprofessional.

But not shy enough to not disrupt the class.

Don't be that parent, it's embarrassing!

Maybe your DS will think twice about misbehaving in class in future. I certainly wouldn’t be taking it up with the school. Teachers often have a hard enough time dealing with disruptive little sods anyway.

I’d talk to the teacher again and ask about the clapping in a “fact finding “ kind of way. If they confirm it with no reasonable (is there even one?) explanation then I’d email the HoY with a complaint, making it clear that I’m not disputing the punishment and DS will do the detention.

I work in primary so a different kettle of fish , but the y6s for example, are not that much far off.

Do you really think the dynamics of 30 boundary pushing adolescents is the same as a class of adults? And he wasn’t humiliated - he was embarrassed, as a consequence of his poor behaviour.

I'm not saying the clapping was professional behaviour at all, but I seriously doubt that the teacher would have reacted like that to your ds' behaviour if your son was the type to be mortified and to not behave like this regularly. It sounds like the reaction of a teacher who has absolutely had enough of a particular student's disruptions to the class. Parents can be very, very unaware of their child's school persona when they are among their peers. Besides, of he were that mortified by being told off or sent out, he wouldn't have disrupted the lesson again 10 minutes later.

'Not cool' 🙄
Isolation just means going and getting on with some work in another room supervised by a teacher. It's not prison. There are often multiple kids in an 'isolation room', quietly getting on with work.

If your boss had to regularly pull you up for actually preventing work being done at your workplace, you might lose your job.

So you think its OK to disrupt the class by talking - twice.
If he'd done as asked it wouldn't have happened - he's there to learn not chat over the teacher to his mates.
Do you have to disapline your kids or do they do as you ask? If its the latter you're lucky - if your kids ever realise that you have no power to make them do anything at all you might find its a different matter

That’s not a reasonable analogy.
Teacher has approx. 30 other people to consider, support and manage.
Your boss dealing with you for not doing what your supposed to (after you’ve already been told what to do) by clapping is humiliating, but doing what you’re supposed to be doing at work is the whole point of being employed. And if your disruption and refusal to listen is effecting others ability to do their job (or learn) then it’s a you problem.

Or how about support the teacher in their efforts to have a class free of disruption rather than grassing them up over some tiny heat of the moment infraction? God, who’d be a teacher!

Gosh what a horrid thing to do. Having worked in schools before, this ritual humiliation of a pupil by a staff member would not be tolerated.

It's bullying, by someone in a considerable position of power, terrible for your child and a terrible example to set.

Sending your son happy thoughts.

First post nails it.
Perhaps being ‘humiliated’ will improve his behaviour - you sound a bit soft on the parenting front.