Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

I think you need to have a calm talk with the teacher about what he's saying has happened. You weren't there so can't be sure and your son's friend is always going to back him up. Find out both sides of the story before taking anything further. Don't ignore it, but remember you don't actually know.

Meh. I don't expect teachers to be living saints and I'm sure the OP's son will survive this 'humiliation'. Load of fuss about nothing.

He’s not so shy that he has a problem disrupting the class twice by talking though is he. 🤷‍♀️

The clapping is wrong, quite childish. Either detention or isolation for remainder of lesson not both.

I'm talking about with the child. Parents that automatically and always back their child are missing a trick. It's teaching them they don't have to respect authority. ~

Not going to help them when they're at work and they don't think the rules apply to them.

I really don’t think your shy child who apparently hates attention on him will be the one talking and drawing attention to himself - TWICE- in class again then.

job done!

Would your child behave so appallingly and rudely in class though?

What OPs son did was not a mistake. If he had made a mistake when answering a question then I’d say the teacher was out of line. Ignoring someone’s instructions to do what you want anyway was a decision not a mistake

A lot of parents clearly have no idea what it’s like standing in front of a class of thirty teenagers for 5 hours a day x 5 days a week. I’d be more worried about the teachers who don’t occasionally let off steam with a snarky comment or bit of silly/immature humour.

Exactly this.

I remember similar happening a few times at school. Always the kids who thought they could disrupt all they liked and thought it was cool while they did everyone else’s head in.

Yes, it’s humiliating. But it also got through to him where clearly isolations did not.

Teacher has confirmed DS was talking when he should have been listening.
Teacher has confirmed DS was not doing anything else in terms of any other behaviour.
Teacher confirmed that DS was punished for talking again later in the lesson having already been told once to stop once before.
My issue isn't with receiving a punishment for talking when he shouldn't have been.
It's for being clapped with raised arms and a Teacher calling out "Well done Alex, well done" repeatedly in a sarcastic voice as he clapped and led the other students in clapping.

Have you asked the teacher about the clapping?

Some teachers are arseholes. So are some pupils.

A day's isolation sounds punitive considering the crime was just talking so I wonder how many lessons with this particular teacher that your DS has disrupted before today. Not saying the clapping was right, but I bet this isn't the first time your DS has done this and the teacher had just had enough.

I agree that the clapping is humiliating and no need for that on top of the other punishment.

Maybe your son should allow others to learn and stop talking in class. If the teacher had to tell everyone in the class to stop talking twice he would not be able to teach anything. I would like to see you keep 30+ children engaged and interested in their learning. Why anyone would want to teach and teach secondary students I have no idea. It’s a thankless task.

Sadly, and I write this as a teacher, soft centred snowflakes have made this kind of punishment unacceptable in the mobile phone / AI/ WFH era.

Of course the whole point of punishments is to inconvenience and humiliate, so we don't do it again - and that works, but we don't do what works in case it scars some little turd for life!

Your son was being very rude and disrespectful and disrupting the class. Tell him to behave himself if he doesn’t want this to happen again.

I was humiliated by a teacher at around his age and to this day it still haunts me. Teacher shouldn’t have acted like that very unprofessional.

He’ll have learnt that even good/shy students may face consequences if they disrupt a class. It happens. It’s a good lesson for him. The other students will have brushed it off and forgotten about the incident an hour later. I’d say you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. You’d be better off brushing it off and telling him every student (even the good shy one) gets in trouble once or twice.

Hang on people a teenager talking over the teacher iIs annoying and school behaviour policy needs to be followed. This does not make him a “little shit” or any of the other descriptions that have been bandied about.

The teacher shouldn't have clapped, very unprofessional and a sign that they were definitely struggling with behaviour management.

The fact the rest of the group joined in would suggest to me that they were likely fed up with DS disrupting the learning - I'd speak to the pastoral lead and ask them to get a picture of how DS is conducting himself around school and in lessons to support him.

Well he knows how to avoid it in future doesn't he?
Tbh, in most schools that would backfire on the teacher big time as getting a detention is seen as cool and most teenagers in that position would be doing mock bows and playing up to it.

Well said. If my child has behaved so badly at school and then whinged that he felt humiliated because the teacher and the classmates clapped, I would probably start clapping too!