Page 24 | Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

LT1982 · 19/09/2025 21:20

Whilst I understand it will be a big change for you to be alone for 6 weeks, life is short and who knows what's around the corner for any of us. Count your blessings that he's fit and healthy enough to travel and hike

LivingDeadGirlUK · 19/09/2025 21:29

I understand why you are sad, I would miss my partner too if they went away for 6 weeks, but if you can't do this sort of thing when you are retired then when can you?

Kindling1970 · 20/09/2025 07:02

Kolkai · 18/09/2025 10:34

You've been with your hubby about the same time as I've been with my partner 7 years ish. He wants to do everything together and quite often forgets I have teens and one child under 10, I feel smothered sometimes. A friend asked if I wanted to go to Prague this December as it was her winter dream and she knows I want to go back there one day. He was all sad faced but didn't complain.

I ended up giving in and adding him because I couldn't stand the sad puppy dog eyes anymore but I just wanted to be with my old high school friend I've not seen in the flesh for 15 years and she's almost died twice this last 2 years. So I was the sad one afterwards.
She ended up breaking her leg anyway so this winter is off the table but I hope to go maybe next year.

I'm mostly wheelchair bound and can use crutches short distances so it's not like I'd be galavanting around getting pissed, I just wanna go see that beautiful city again with my dear friend while I still have enough mobility to use crutches and not completely confined to a wheelchair.
She's also the same gender as me so it's not like I'm going on holiday with some random dude either. I have a 360° camera and a camera for taking spatial photos and videos, also live stream available for both so it's not like he couldn't call me and me give him a virtual tour of where I am and the sight seeing I would be doing. She also takes millions of holiday photos wherever she goes so there probably wouldn't be a moment he couldn't see.

Maybe look at hubby taking a 180 or 360 cam with him to clip onto his hiking gear to share the experience with you as often as he could? Might be something he would enjoy being able to do too since if you can't join him physically you can still kind of share it that way.
(My spatial camera eats battery but the 360 camera doesn't so much so if you do then research which is best for quality and battery life)

I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like this. It seems really controlling to manipulate you like this. I wouldn’t want to go on holiday with my partner and his friend, bring a third wheel

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 20/09/2025 09:56

Kolkai · 18/09/2025 10:34

You've been with your hubby about the same time as I've been with my partner 7 years ish. He wants to do everything together and quite often forgets I have teens and one child under 10, I feel smothered sometimes. A friend asked if I wanted to go to Prague this December as it was her winter dream and she knows I want to go back there one day. He was all sad faced but didn't complain.

I ended up giving in and adding him because I couldn't stand the sad puppy dog eyes anymore but I just wanted to be with my old high school friend I've not seen in the flesh for 15 years and she's almost died twice this last 2 years. So I was the sad one afterwards.
She ended up breaking her leg anyway so this winter is off the table but I hope to go maybe next year.

I'm mostly wheelchair bound and can use crutches short distances so it's not like I'd be galavanting around getting pissed, I just wanna go see that beautiful city again with my dear friend while I still have enough mobility to use crutches and not completely confined to a wheelchair.
She's also the same gender as me so it's not like I'm going on holiday with some random dude either. I have a 360° camera and a camera for taking spatial photos and videos, also live stream available for both so it's not like he couldn't call me and me give him a virtual tour of where I am and the sight seeing I would be doing. She also takes millions of holiday photos wherever she goes so there probably wouldn't be a moment he couldn't see.

Maybe look at hubby taking a 180 or 360 cam with him to clip onto his hiking gear to share the experience with you as often as he could? Might be something he would enjoy being able to do too since if you can't join him physically you can still kind of share it that way.
(My spatial camera eats battery but the 360 camera doesn't so much so if you do then research which is best for quality and battery life)

You’re being emotionally manipulated, it’s a form of coercion and control that’s not healthy.

If I invited a friend on holiday and she bought her partner with her I’d be so pissed off.

You wouldn’t get another invite.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 20/09/2025 11:59

Piratecatcher · 16/09/2025 20:30

I did suggest stages but he won’t do that .. I guess I need to find a trip to do on my own. Unfortunately the stuff I would like to do would be a different season

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That’s fine, you do your thing in a different season, you don’t need to be away when he is unless you want to be. It won’t do any harm for him to fit in a bit with your plans rather than only the other way around.

BCBird · 20/09/2025 12:03

Provided u are not being left with loads of extra responsibility due to his absence, he has taken safety precautions and is capable of doing this, I really cannot see an issue. Do something out of the ordinary when he's away.

CurlewKate · 20/09/2025 12:21

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 20/09/2025 09:56

You’re being emotionally manipulated, it’s a form of coercion and control that’s not healthy.

If I invited a friend on holiday and she bought her partner with her I’d be so pissed off.

You wouldn’t get another invite.

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Yes-absolutely this! I would be so pissed off if my friend’s partner tagged along like that. And as for the idea of filming the trip-that’s completely appalling! A few pictures, yes. But continuous filming? Absolutely not!

BreezyLilacZebra · 20/09/2025 18:16

II would take some time to explore why this is bothering you so much. Are you worried he might not want to come back? Are you worried that it’ll cause you to grow apart? Are you worried you might be helpless without him? (I’m not suggesting it’s any of those things.) Once you figure this out, you can talk to him about your fear. It seems that this isn’t about the trip, but about some insecurity you might have. Perhaps it’s worth addressing that with your husband head on.

Jonnybigwallet · 20/09/2025 18:16

Are you worried he may be indulging in "hanky panky" along the way?

heybabeyourhairsalright · 20/09/2025 18:22

Aww it sounds as though you have a great relationship and will miss him. Would it be possible to break the time up by maybe going on holiday for a couple of weeks yourself whilst he’s away?

Bubbe57 · 20/09/2025 18:23

You say you can hike for two weeks? Why not join him at some point for two weeks? Maybe you’d surprise yourself and go longer. Aim for the middle two weeks and then you’d miss him only two weeks at a time!

Suecee15 · 20/09/2025 18:32

I would find it a long stretch, but my guy was in hospital for 3 months when we were in our mid 20s. Id rather he was 'missing' doing something he loved than undergoing major surgery... so given the choice its a no brainer.
Rally your friends abd relatives. Book a holiday yourself and that will break up the time.

Mymanyellow · 20/09/2025 18:36

when I was with my ex I wished he would have fucked off for 6 weeks. Guess that’s why he’s an ex.

DBD1975 · 20/09/2025 18:37

Lovely, 6 weeks of peace, would he take my husband with him? 😂

Jellyrose20 · 20/09/2025 18:38

You're entitled to feel however you feel about it. I'd be upset, but ultimately it is his life and if it's a difference in interests where you won't join, then it's unfair to say he can't do something he wants because you don't want him to.

Teddy1949 · 20/09/2025 18:38

Piratecatcher · 16/09/2025 19:59

Hi My hubby age 69 wants to go hiking solo for 6 weeks ..doing the Camino.. I am very upset about it as I feel its too long to be apart and also hurt that he is ok with that.. We have a good relationship usually and adult children. I have happily accepted him doing solo two week hikes in the past but 6 weeks feels too long and I am not a long distance hiker so I can’t join him. We are arguing about it.. Am I being selfish? He thinks I am.

You have obviously never been a service wife, six weeks is nothing!

Lazytiger · 20/09/2025 18:41

It’s a spiritual, religious walk so it really wouldn’t bother me. Are you worried he’s not really going alone or are you worried he might get a taste for it and leave you alone frequently?

It’s hurtful when people we want around want to do something without us, but I think this is more a bucket-list trip then a need to get away and at 69 if not now, when?

Lazytiger · 20/09/2025 18:43

DBD1975 · 20/09/2025 18:37

Lovely, 6 weeks of peace, would he take my husband with him? 😂

Mine too!! We need to set up a group holiday… and then surprise them 🤣

cheekybtch · 20/09/2025 18:44

Shortdaysalready · 16/09/2025 20:02

No you aren't being selfish OP.

And it sounds as though your attitude to his lone holidays has always been very reasonable and accommodating. But 6 weeks is taking the piss.

Is it, though? Just because they're married doesn't mean they're joined at the hip.

StarCurator · 20/09/2025 18:45

The Camino, as you will know, is a very special walk, indeed a pilgrimage, and I think that it would be very good if you honoured your husband's wish to do it. It is not necessarily a sign that he has tired of your marriage, but likely a desire to use the time he has left to do something meaningful. One of my sisters walked parts of the Camino on her own after her daughter left home, even though she is very happily married. She could only do two weeks at a time, but now that's she's retired, I imagine that she might go for longer at some point. It has been a very important event in her life.

If a lack of fitness is holding you back, there is plenty of transportation on the Camino; you can have someone bring your luggage between hostels or hotels, take the bus and just walk a bit (or not at all). There is more than one route, but they all go through spectacular countryside, so it could be an exciting trip even if you don't walk, or just come for a short time. Or perhaps you have an ambition to travel somewhere, or a special project you could do at home, or a course that you might take while he's away?

Mossey55 · 20/09/2025 18:52

When you say solo do you mean without you but with other hikers . If he is going with others hikers fair enough but entirely solo I’d be worried about safety.
if I were you I would book myself a nice holiday in a 4 or 5 star hotel with a spa and lovely massages and beauty treatments either with a friend or daughter/daughter in law if you have one and have a blast

Rob343 · 20/09/2025 18:52

If he was going for 6 weeks to Vegas or Ibiza you might have a point.
But a walk like the Camino is a spiritual experience.

BucketOsnacks · 20/09/2025 18:55

but marriage is a partnership and six weeks is a long time to be apart

It really isn't in the grand scheme of things. You won't be married for 30 years and then grow apart in 6 weeks.

tiredmumof2zzzz · 20/09/2025 18:56

I would find it absolutely suffocating if my partner was trying to stop me from doing a 6 week trip. If it was a year, it would require more discussion but come on, 6 weeks!

BucketOsnacks · 20/09/2025 18:57

6 weeks is nothing!!

Unless it's the school holidays. Then it's a bloody lifetime.