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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

792 replies

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:25

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

OP posts:
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8
IdaGlossop · 15/09/2025 21:49

Bringmeahigherlove · 15/09/2025 19:48

Am I the only one who wouldn’t care if an adult tapped my daughter on the head to remind her to stop being rude? …….just me then.

You are not the only one. There are quite a few of us.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 15/09/2025 22:17

IdaGlossop · 15/09/2025 21:49

You are not the only one. There are quite a few of us.

I'm with you!

FunMustard · 15/09/2025 22:20

Threads like these are absolutely wild.

If my kid was being annoying and an adult tapped them on the head, the most I'd have to say about it was "ok, did he stop being annoying?".

Other than offering my opinion, I have no idea, sorry.

IdaGlossop · 15/09/2025 22:58

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 15/09/2025 22:17

I'm with you!

This thread is a useful reminder that foolish parents abound.

When my DD was seven, a classmate of hers , who I was giving a lift to, was rude to me. When the mother, standing on her doorstep, asked me how her daughter had been, I told her that she had been rude to me. The mother pulled the daughter inside and sĺammed the door in my face. That was the end of my fanciful notion that parenting is a collective endeavour. I've been reminded again here.

Ratafia · 16/09/2025 10:31

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 19:53

TBF I think Mom is focused on the fact a stranger touched her child. I assume she's seen it as reprimand not attention so I don't blame her for being upset. Someone upset her kid. A stranger she has no context of. I don't blame them for being angry. I worry about that anger coming out in front of my kids and them being distressed or my kids being bullied for rumours.

Surely the mother should be concerned about the fact that her child's behaviour upset someone else?

Ratafia · 16/09/2025 10:48

Allthatshines1992 · 15/09/2025 16:49

Lots of talk about the personal inconvenience of his actions having consequences. No thought for the little girl who had to tensely be around and try to avoid that man for the entire rest of the day before she could get away from him and be back home safely :-(

Nonsense. She continued sitting in front of him without saying anything and wholly unmolested for the rest of the journey, and felt free to tell the teacher subsequently. She knew perfectly well that the incident followed a course of conduct on her part where she had repeatedly been told to stop misbehaving and had carried on. The notion that she thought OP's husband was going to be lying in wait all day to assault her is simply risible.

Ratafia · 16/09/2025 10:55

OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 12:50

No, but he was there to supervise, which he cannot do asleep, of course.

He was there as his own child's 1-1, to give physical care. Presumably that wasn't needed when his child is just sitting in a coach seat amusing himself. No supervision needed.

Sunshineonthewater · 16/09/2025 11:00

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:04

I was recently sitting next to a screaming child for two hours on a plane. Is it ok for me to tap that child on the head?

In your scenario, there was an upset child not one that was happily, purposely annoying another person. There was also presumably a parent sitting next to the child. And I guess the child was probably younger than Y6. I fail to see the logic of the comparison.

CalmHiker · 16/09/2025 18:28

Bringmeahigherlove · 15/09/2025 19:48

Am I the only one who wouldn’t care if an adult tapped my daughter on the head to remind her to stop being rude? …….just me then.

Just this afternoon, I saw the PE teacher lob a ball on my kid's head because he wasn't listening - obviously not throwing it straight in his face with all his strength like some ridiculous posters will translate 🙄

No one bat an eyelid, not even my kid who stopped chatting and paid attention!

Paganpentacle · 17/09/2025 08:11

Ponoka7 · 15/09/2025 20:11

My Granddaughter has moderate hearing loss. She can't wear her hearing aid at the moment because she has a severely retracted ear drum. This woman is a helper in the school, she knows about the medical conditions. My Granddaughter turned her best ear towards her, to hear better. The helper then moved in front of her and pointed her finger in her face, while saying 'you always look at me when I'm speaking to you'. She was seen by another helper who intervened. She's known for being aggressive. She often also tells other children off for speaking at a volume my Granddaughter can hear. If you can't cope with what children bring, don't volunteer.

Dreadful behaviour!!!

Nogg · 17/09/2025 22:26

This thread is making me think of David Sedaris and his funny stories

as he says on kids behaviour now;

“Children now are like animals who have no natural predators left”

Bumblebee72 · 18/09/2025 08:10

Nogg · 17/09/2025 22:26

This thread is making me think of David Sedaris and his funny stories

as he says on kids behaviour now;

“Children now are like animals who have no natural predators left”

Except Derek from number 78. Don't let your kids near him.

Bumblebee72 · 18/09/2025 11:07

Bringmeahigherlove · 15/09/2025 19:48

Am I the only one who wouldn’t care if an adult tapped my daughter on the head to remind her to stop being rude? …….just me then.

You're fine from the only one. Then problem is you only need one crazy parent to kick up a fuss. It is never worth volunteering with kids.

laundryhamper · 21/09/2025 09:45

Good grief…
Just RTFT
We are in peak loony times.

notacooldad · 21/09/2025 11:50

If anyone one in this type of scenario tapped my kids I would want to hear from them ( the child) why they thought it was a good idea to be an annoying idiot and have no respect.

I'd be making them apologise to the person if possible and tell them if they do it again there will be bigger consequences in place. How dare they ignore requests to behave.

They will be told how they behave in public represents me and their dad so they had better shape their ideas up in future.

sugarapplelane · 21/09/2025 12:48

IdaGlossop · 15/09/2025 22:58

This thread is a useful reminder that foolish parents abound.

When my DD was seven, a classmate of hers , who I was giving a lift to, was rude to me. When the mother, standing on her doorstep, asked me how her daughter had been, I told her that she had been rude to me. The mother pulled the daughter inside and sĺammed the door in my face. That was the end of my fanciful notion that parenting is a collective endeavour. I've been reminded again here.

Good for you. A parent needs to be told when their child is a PITA
I’d hope that she pulled her child inside to give her a telling off for being so rude, but I highly doubt it. She’s probably more annoyed at you than she is at her rude Daughter.
And there we have the problem…..

IdaGlossop · 21/09/2025 18:46

sugarapplelane · 21/09/2025 12:48

Good for you. A parent needs to be told when their child is a PITA
I’d hope that she pulled her child inside to give her a telling off for being so rude, but I highly doubt it. She’s probably more annoyed at you than she is at her rude Daughter.
And there we have the problem…..

I did say to my DD as we drove home 'Now you know why X is ill-mannered' and told her what I would have done had the situation been reversed (invited the parent in, asked the parent to tell me what had happened, asked DD to tell me what had happened etc). The first time this mother ever spoke to me was in the school yard, where she gave me a detailed and graphic account of her husband's infidelity. Ours was never going to be a relationship made in heaven.

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