Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

I wouldn't consider DCs' teachers to be strange adults, I'd be happy enough for them to touch them if the situation warranted it.

It is a bit different in a secondary school but this thread isn't about that.

If it was a tap on the head this is a load of fuss about very little. He shouldnt have done it, the kid should not have been playing up. Presumably this child had another child next to them who could have been asked about it too.

A female child hit by a parent is likely to have started crying if actually hurt, makes me think they were just shocked. Probably the sort of parents who have never checked their behaviour.

So this girl was deliberately being annoying to your DS and DH? And your DS has additional needs, thus needing a 1-2-1?

Sounds like the girl was behaving like a bully.

Your DH reprimanded her. Her parents should be ashamed.

You honestly can't imagine ever taping someone for their attention? I know he was wrong but it's odd to suggest that no one has ever tapped someone for attention without dull intention of assaulting them is a bit extreme. It was her head because they were all seated in seatbelts so he put his hand over the top of the chair. Putting it between and taking a shoulder or arm would have people accusing him of trying molest her.

This. Little brats left to do anything

How stupid of him, 1 2 1 with your child and dozing off!!!! Utter madness then touching a child because they annoyed him, the very least would be told not welcome at school events, could be more serious of her parents take it further, he need an anger management course and some parenting lessons.

Was it a lean over the seat and tap on the head to draw her attention? Presumably he didn't know her name? If that's the case I feel sorry for him.
I'm more concerened that he fell asleep actually.

You have constantly asked posters to provide links. Yet when you’re asked to do so you say you’re on holiday? Funny-I thought all the schools were back.

No, she wouldn't.

I think your response to all of this is very much coloured by the fact that you teach older children, for whom rather different considerations apply. Have you ever taught in a Primary School?

Not at all. I was reprimanded for a child walking into my outstretched arm, blocking a hallway. I didn't initiate it. But still got a warning.

People are suggesting that tapping someone on the head for their attention is extremely unusual and that if you’re also irritated by the person you are tapping, it’s probably not pleasant and not just for attention. There is an element of reprimand to it.

Yes they are.

are you a qualified teacher? Do you not find it odd that not one qualified teacher on here has agreed with you that touching children is not abuse? Do you not see how that statement completely minimises actual child abuse.

there are many situations where a child may need to be touched in high school.

medical needs- support with changing, hoists, self care

sensory needs- hand over hand guidance for blind children, positioning hands for braille and tactile resources, sighted guidance for mobility

physical violence- safely restraining pupils from hurting themselves or others

Do you actually teach? It’s baffling you wouldn’t have considered these reasons. You’d be an incredibly neglectful teacher if you refused to touch children and just let them be injured, unable to learn or needing self care.

from what you’ve said about backing away from children and what you’re parroting about touching children being abuse proving you absolutely didn’t pay attention in safe guarding training, I don’t think education is for you.

someone further up has posted the links you requested by the way. I think we’re all still waiting for yours

How does one sleep with a sleep of entitlement? Physically he couldn't have woken up with a lurch and started slapping this girl around the head, positionally speaking. He woke because she was jumping about in her seat so he lent over and tapped her.
I can see that you're certain you've pegged him correctly as a mysigonistic abuser of females, angered that his manly rights were interrupted and so started lashing out in vengeance
You're wrong

I don't even know how I'm going to face school, wondering who the year 4 child is, wondering if her parents are going to acost me at school.

But @ToddlerIs2 their daughter was misbehaving and sounds like she was bullying your son. Your DH asked her to stop several times, and she continued her aggressive behaviour. They're the ones who should be ashamed.

Where was she bullying the son?! I thought she was annoying the DH.

I’m surprised he wasn’t given 40 lashes in front of the whole school and then made to do cross country on one leg as reparations for his heinous crime.

She's not a teacher.

She’s not a teacher

Times my DS has been touched in school (that I know about):

• the time he had a nose bleed in reception, he was sitting on his teacher's knee when I picked him up
• the time also in reception he had an unfortunate onset of Noro at school and his poor (and extremely lovely) teacher helped him out of his sicky clothes before he was picked up
• the time in year 1 he fell in the playground and put his teeth through his lower lip - he was holding his PE teacher's hand when I picked him up
• at sports day he won a race and gave his year 3 teacher a big hug to celebrate

These are just the ones that immediately spring to mind and I actually saw! Are you saying these teachers are all "sick and weird" or should be sacked. I cannot believe you actually work in a school.

Agree @ParmaVioletTea

if anyone one asks OP just tell them the truth and absurdity of it all.

That explains why she is so clueless about the needs of children in school then

Exactly

I’m presuming he tapped the girl on the head to get her attention as only her head is visible in the coach seat? I wouldn’t worry as that sounds reasonable but not advisable. Im sure the head will just reiterate that he should have flagged up the behaviour with a staff member. I’m a TA.

@ToddlerIs2

Oh blimey.... what a day.

I'm glad your DH has been apologetic and been into sort things out.

He's been an utter pillock but it sounds like he's no nasty guy. Just done something stupid.

I hope you both put this behind you now and calm down.

And on the discussion of teachers touching children - our primary school haven't read the "do not touch" documents.

I regularly make physical contact with children at school. They hug you , hold your hand etc. the key is that it is child led and minimal.