Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

yeah she was just being annoying.

yeah she was just being annoying.

yeah she was just being annoying.

Reminds me of the woman who got annoyed with another woman working in B&Q for removing her child from the shelving that she was climbing. It's incredibly dangerous to climb on said shelving (where I used to work it was instant dismissal if any of us were caught doing it, but customers didn't go in the warehouse.) I suppose the B&Q woman could have ignored the toddler, but if she fell and hurt herself it would be the shop's fault.
I have sometimes had to (gently) tap my DS on the head when tapping his hand doesn't work. He gets distracted when eating and I don't really want to sit there for two hours while he eats his lunch. Clearly social services need to be called. 🙄

Op your post says he touched a kid to reprimand them. You need to change it to tapped a kid to get her attention to reprimand her. Very different.

If you think a teacher holding a scared 5 year olds hand, a youth worker reciprocating appropriately a goodbye hug, a high five with the head teacher etc is sick, you really do need support outside of this thread.

I would assume a school where there's zero tolerance for any kind of touch is one with a dire history of abuse so they need to be overly cautious.

Lots of talk about the personal inconvenience of his actions having consequences. No thought for the little girl who had to tensely be around and try to avoid that man for the entire rest of the day before she could get away from him and be back home safely :-(

As a teacher I’ve often nodded off on the return leg of a trip. There’s always plenty of adults. It’s bloody exhausting taking children out of school for the day. Not sure how I’d ’keep myself awake’ as some are suggesting.

Poor bloke. What a huge over reaction by everyone concerned. No wonder kids are little shites these days.

You just can't hit someone else's kid on the head. It might have seemed like a tap, but was clearly enough of something for the teacher to notice.

I guess he'll have to apologise and take the consequences.

can't tap your own on the head either!!

It's the sort of thing teachers used to do decades ago to naughty kids making trouble on a bus, I know. But that was then. And they were teachers not random parents.

Aaahhh the old switcheroo! So you couldn’t find any guidelines to prove your point? I thought not!

However, here’s your link as requested to show teachers can touch children:

Please note the 1st line of this section: “Schools should not have a “no contact” policy. This has been in legislative policy for at least 15-20 years.

https://consult.education.gov.uk/behaviour-unit/revised-use-of-reasonable-force-guidance/supporting_documents/Use%20of%20reasonable%20force%20and%20other%20restrictive%20interventions%20guidance.pdf

So yeah this is real life and teachers are saying this. Some just seem to be more informed than others. Mind that you don’t fall when you get down off that high horse…

But you've made that up

Well, I’m glad everything is ok op.

If my son had told me someone gave him a tap on the head from the seat behind on a bus, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. I would have assumed he was being irritating and suggested he sit still in future. It’s not like your husband whacked her.

Made to apologise to the child in front of the teacher and parent lol - Well, good luck to that parent going forward, she’ll probably need it.

And we wonder how these kids get to 20 and can’t cope with life. Precious parenting at its finest. I can’t stand it. The pearl clutching is just so over the top.

As I say, glad this is over now op. I wouldn’t bother offering to go on any more trips. The school will have to fund a 1-2-1 TA won’t they.

Firstly I'd try to draw a line under it for tonight, get a good night's sleep, and see how it looks in the morning. If I were planning to go to the police I think I would have prioritised that over the meeting, apology etc. so hopefully that's a sign they're not planning to escalate it.

As to whether they should escalate it, I see a difference between prodding someone on the head with a finger to get their attention (in order to speak to them - in the same way you might tap someone's shoulder) and an open palmed tap (hit) which in itself is designed to say "knock it off" rather than start a conversation. I couldn't get too worked up about the former and that's what I pictured when I read the OP. You might never know exactly what it was hence I think you now just need to put it out of your head.

Didn't read all 28 pages of arguments but I think the child should be reprimanded for behaving badly and your husband should be reprimanded for his inappropriate reaction. But I think how far this will go depends also on the child's parents reaction. Involving the police sounds like a complete overreaction though, assuming it really was just a tap.

Ah, this all sounds so stressful op. I personally think that schools taking parent volunteers on trips have a duty to provide proper training to those parents to protect them. I've been a secondary teacher for 25 years and run lots of trips but I was really impressed when I volunteered at my kids primary school how they held meetings to run through risk assessments and roles and responsibilities for all types of volunteering including how to approach behaviour issues. It doesn't sound like your dh was trying to hit her, just get her attention.

The world has gone mad.
He tapped a kid on the head to get her attention to ask her to stop kicking the fucking chair and from the comments I’ve read, you basically want him thrown in jail for being an abusive peodophile.

I can’t cope with this shit. I am honestly grateful that I do not have any friends in real life that would ever come out with this sort of shit.

Such a lot of precious parents on here. Since when is tapping someone abusive? People need to get a grip.

Thank you.

Totally agree with this.

Glad common sense prevailed. Gosh there are some serious pearlclutchers on this thread. No wonder so many kids are badly behaved when a tap on the head with a finger is viewed as assault when their little shits darlings are being uber annoying.

This thread is nuts. A tap to me means using finger tips to get attention. How can that be an issue? The child was being an annoying shit. A parent helper got her attention to tell her to stop.

Unless it was actually more like a slap in which case they have a point.

Op, you seem to think some posters are overreacting but I think you're the one! Calm down ffs. No normal parents will give a shiny shite that your dh tapped a child on the head. And no one will be whispering about you in the playground for the next x number of years. The parents sound over the top (why would their child even think to 'report' your dh?) but as they were left in the dark without knowing the extent of the 'assault' they were naturally upset. You have to feel sorry for headteachers, as if they haven't got enough on their plate.

Is this a joke? She was upset because she got told off, she wasn’t in any danger at any point to worry about “getting home safely”.