Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

That may be the case for your son, who you know - you know what they are capable of in terms of behaviour, you’d have the chance to ask about the level of force used etc. Lots of variables and not all parents would feel the same as you.

I imagine a sensible head teacher will remind him not to touch children unless they're about to injure themselves.
I wouldn't worry. You're not likely to be penalised for something your dh has done.

You're ridiculous.

I think it’s likely that he may be banned from future trips and I’d be pretty cross if one of my kids came home from a trip and said ‘Xs dad hit me on the head ‘

For real? Who’d work with kids nowadays? A child is behaving like a twat and ignoring verbal requests of an adult sitting behind them so he taps their head to get their attention and tell them to behave, then it’s him who gets in bother.

What a world we live in.

DS is year 6, I always go with him but had an injury and school wouldn't allow me but DH went with reception last ye and yr 4 the year before that bad never had an issue. He's so bloody stupid. Like rule one. Don't touch someone's kid. He knows I'm angry. He's sorry
Fuck.

I think everything here depends on the actual action of your husband. Is it touching, is is gently tapping, is it hitting? What exactly did he do? Which word was used by him and by school? Your title is written in a very inflammatory way.

Also what was the child doing - bumping off the seat in front or something like that? It’s far from the crime of the century and seems like it was something that irritated your DH rather than anything too serious, unless I’ve misunderstood?

sorry but I wouldn’t overreact about this. School trips can be stressful, a bus load of children is stressful, and lively, and he asked her multiple times to stop and it was an action lacking judgement but he has apologised and it won’t happen again

Sorry, I’m responding to other posters who seem to think what your DH did is fine. I get that you see the problems with it. Did the teacher who spoke to your DH see what happened and what did they say?

Yep. I am completely opposed to corporal punishment, but tapping a child to get their attention when they are misbehaving seems eminently reasonable.

That’s not what the OP said, he tapped her on the head.

Would you push for the police to prosecute him for child abuse / assault or whatever the charge is?

Sorry but I think getting the police involved would be utterly bonkers

Kinell.
Police? For tapping someone on the head??
🙄

Yeah, he's tall so his knees haven't got any room, she was bumping the seat backwards then looking through the gap for a reaction so intentionally annoying but not dangerous per SE assuming she still had her her seatbelt on. Teacher definitely would have told her to sit still if he'd spoken to them, and probably would have made her move if she kept it up cos they're obviously meant to be sitting bums on chair. So could have been resolved by him tattling

He was an idiot but it's hardly a police matter is it? Surely the head will just give him a bit of a telling off and ask you to help on trips in future instead of him.

I can’t picture how he “tapped her on the head”, a full hand pat? A single finger tap? What kind of tap? He was sat behind and she wobbled the chair she was sat on? So not kicking the back of his chair or anything.

I don’t think anyone on the thread has said the police should be called, but some people have said the parents may involve the police.

if the child has one of THOSE parents, he won't supervise again and the poor head will have to cajole and make a big fuss of the little daring's parents , but they are used to it.

If the child has normal parents - the head will tell your husband off/

Providing he didn't violently smack her, what's the problem with tapping a child? I've volunteered plenty, there's no rule that you can't TOUCH a child! Don't be violent and inappropriate, OBVIOUSLY, but touching them to attract their attention is such a non-issue.

If I'm banned from school trips whilst my youngest is year 1 I will never forgive him.
I'd ban you more for over-reacting and being completely ridiculous than anything else.

' Cos it's 4 hours by coach,'

4 hours each way, at Primary School ?
Good grief where on earth were they going, and how long for.

I agree.
But look at some of the responses on here.
Not surprising that schools struggle when parents think it's a police matter if a dc is tapped on the head.

hang on.....so he was only there responsible for his own child and not a helper for the whole bunch? In that case then should he be reprimanding any of the other children? I mean I understand why he would want to in the circs but not his responsibility?

I don't know, I've had a short phone convo as he's at work and I've needed up playing middleman with the secretary to arrange appt. She said child was upset and he said he was sorry, he hadn't given it much thought when he'd done it. The trip continued and wasn't mentioned until it's come back to school today, presumably when they've handed over incidents / parents have called in. Assuming police would contact us not school first