to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL

[GooseAndSandals]

I’ll start with one of my less dark ones. I didn’t care when my father died.

I find this really fascinating. I'm a straight woman who only likes fit male bodies, so I couldn't be further from this, but I wonder if you are turned on by the taboo of visible sickness and uncleaness implied by smoking and obesity. Literal poverty porn, maybe?

No real harm in that as long as you don’t encourage or act on it.

Your husbands brother??? Or your sister’s husband???

No point coming on a thread like this then expressing incredulity or shock.

It shouldn't make a difference, but it really does!

If it were my sister's husband I'd freak out and feel really conflicted about what to do for the best interests of my sister. If it were my dp's brother I'd just tell him to sod off in no uncertain terms and tell no one as long as he kept away from me.

I have a very deep self loathing which is at odds with my IRL personality(I am much meaner and ruder online than I am IRL) If you asked almost anyone, they would say I was really sweet, happy, friendly and upbeat. And they'd be right! I just also have a core of unhappiness which comes from I know not where. I deal with this by drinking secretly.

We would take in one of dhs nephew’s if something happened to his sister. She thinks we would take both but dh won’t. He hates one of them.

I’ll throw a party when my grandmother dies the bitch.

I like viewing murder scene photos. Possibly a thing from finding a dead body as a young child.

@GooseAndSandals @anonymouselephantx husband’s brother

definitely not going to encourage it. Blocked him after the shock of it all. And then unblocked and got a grovelling apology

Does your husband know? That’s hilarious

Yes, this is exactly what I said. Keep away and he has in all fairness

Oh no! I couldn’t do that to him - family would fall apart and I couldn’t do that to him. Feel a sense of guilt keeping it from him but it’s for the best. As long as BIL stays away and doesn’t push boundaries

I think you are right. FWIW I don’t think it is hilarious at all.

When I said ‘hilarious,’ I meant it more in the sense of ‘wow, what an awkward and ironic situation,’ not that I think it’s funny at her expense. I realise in text it might come across as dismissive, but if we were talking in person it would’ve sounded more like ‘oh my gosh, that’s hilariously awkward’ rather than ‘haha this is great entertainment. I use ‘hilarious’ the way people sometimes laugh in awkward situations- it’s such an unexpected scenario.

Ehm I wasn’t expressing shock, I was literally just asking which BIL she meant. Genuine clarification and curiosity, not incredulity.

Fair enough. My apologies. X

No worries at all - easy to misread tone online.

"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend i was one of those deaf-mutes.That way i wouldn't have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody"

Oh @ABMSATTthis is heartbreaking, I actually have a family member who did that once her youngest child turned 18. We were all utterly heartbroken and the thing is your dc will always need you around because they love you.

Please find somebody IRL to share this with.

I have, they sent me for therapy, the feel became bigger not less with therapy.

Op we may need a new thread! So many people able to open up and offer support on here ❤️ it's heart warming

I’m the same. Catastrophising. Everything has the worst possible outcome in my head. I know why I do it. I’ve never told my DH or anyone. When I was 4 my grandad (adored him and we lived with my grandparents for a while) went out and never came home. He had a heart attack. The utter devastation of everyone has never left me. I was a worried and anxious child and now as an adult I’m at my happiest when I know everyone is safe indoors.

That's so sad, I'm sorry. Unfortunately when distressing things like that happen whilst our brains are developing and unable to rationalise them, those raw feelings can get hardwired into us. A similar thing happened to my mum, too.

When I hear of people mourning an elderly parent I sympathise and try to be supportive because I know they are experiencing loss. But internally I'm like 'oh boo fucking hoo' like what did you expect, your parents to be immortal? I know it's a nasty streak and I wouldn't share it with anyone ever. My mum died young and I think people who have their parents alive into their middle age are just so incredibly lucky and they don't even acknowledge it.

I'm so glad I didn't kill the fucker while he was sleeping. At my lowest ebb I very nearly did, I stood over him one night, holding the knife above him but thank god I didn't do it. I confided in someone at work the next day, who told me I had to get out of there immediately. They said the fucker could have woken up, grabbed the knife off me and killed me. I walked away with nothing and divorced him. Knifing him isn't the answer, getting away from him is.

That's if you love your parents
I loathe my Mother, the bitch is coming up to 90 so fingers crossed not long until she fucks off to Hell
I lost the wrong parent when my Dad died at 59