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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

PIL thrown a strop over Christmas (sorry for mentioning)

327 replies

ToysCatapultedFromPram · 14/09/2025 19:21

We just invited my PIL for Christmas, but they’ve declined in a huff. They aren’t coming.

The reason is because this year I’ve decided to have a bit of an open house. My sibling is staying near me, and as a result is able to bring down my parents. I’ll go pick them up from where they are staying and bring them to mine. How nice to have them in my own house when they live hundreds of miles away. A rare occurrence. My sibling will come over Boxing Day with their family. I’m delighted to host something that may not happen again.

Secondly, my DD’s serious partner spends Christmas Day alone for various strained family reasons and I’ve said they are more than welcome in my house over the Christmas period. It’s the right thing to do, and what Christmas is about.

However my PIL are not happy about this. TBH due to the proximity of where they live in relation to us, they’ve spent many more Christmases with us than anyone else.

They have been invited, but now declined. My DH is a bit upset.

AIBU to think that;

a) Inviting my DC’s partner is the RIGHT thing to do.

b) Having my family over, a rare occurrence, should be jumped on by me.

c) If my PIL don’t want to join us, that’s their problem, and I’m not going to change the above plans to suit them. I’m going the right thing and if they don’t like it, tough tits. If they want to spend it alone, that’s on them and Tbh I have a lovely family, much nicer than my in-laws, and I’m insulted at the slight.

So who IBU here?

OP posts:
WarmPoet · 21/09/2025 20:17

Ahh sod them. Your house, you can have over who you want. If they don’t want to partake fair enough.

NavyTurtle · 25/09/2025 16:15

ToysCatapultedFromPram · 14/09/2025 19:31

It’s about my narcissist MIL not being the centre of attention with my family around. It’s about getting in line. It’s about my parents getting attention. It’s about “non family” (DD’s Bf) being invited when they’re “not family”.

No falling out. Just people who think the world revolves around them, and me demonstrating that it doesn’t.

For me, I’ll do the right thing at Christmas. I’m just making sure that I am.

What you are doing sounds wonderful - your PIL however sound like a nightmare and I would be delighted if they were not coming to mine. They have cut off there noses to spite their faces.

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