Neither my husband nor myself drive. We are now in our fifties.
We've never lived in a big city, but do live where public transport is reasonable. I have only ever heard negativity about it on MN, to be honest.
Friends and family don't give us lifts. We use buses and trains and people who earn their living driving people around. If I was meeting friends somewhere out of the way, I'd get a taxi. I thought that was what most people did. Often I'm sharing it because others want to have a drink.
As to the 'selfish' argument, no, I won't be able to take my Mum shopping when she can't get there on her own but a) we live in an age where home delivery exists and I can help her order online, b) again I can use the services of people who earn their living by driving, and c) I am pretty sure those of you with cars don't all live close to your parents, so I'm guessing you are upping sticks and moving when your unselfish driving services are needed, or you are driving five hour round trips to take your mum shopping. No? How selfish of you. I, meanwhile, moved to be nearer to my mother as she ages. My brother, who lives two hours away and drives, visits once a year if that.
I give to my family and friends in other ways. They've never needed me to drive them anywhere, but I have still managed to help them move house, support them through illness and mental health issues, etc. I've never needed them to drive me anywhere, but I hope in the unlikely event I ever would, they wouldn't act as though it's some massive burden imposed upon them by somebody who has nothing to offer them in return simply because she can't drive.
Driving is not the only way you can be of service to others. And I would like to think, when I'm helping my mother with her garden and house, and supporting her through her worsening dementia, my driving family members who all live hours away aren't thinking how selfish I am because I can't drive her to the shops or a hospital appointment.
Back when fewer people could afford a car, somehow people managed to navigate life's little emergencies. I wonder why we find it so hard now? And I don't think the answer is just about public transport. I think we've become much more lazy and much less capable.