Page 23 | Comments because I don’t drive

Waolom · 2025-09-14T17:40:24+00:00

I’m 28. I don’t drive. I have no children. I do not mind the fact that I can’t drive one single bit. I enjoy sitting on public transport and switching off, listening to my music, I never ask anyone for a lift or to take me xyz place. In short, my inability to drive affects absolutely nobody but myself and I’m happy. So why on earth do (some) drivers make it such a big deal and make comments when people can’t drive? I don’t ever ask for lifts so it just frustrates me when people comment on it as if I’m putting them out. I’m not. AIBU to be fed up of these comments?

Namechangerage · 05/05/2026 10:59

Waolom · 15/09/2025 12:29

Out of interest, what about occasions such as weddings, where the location isn’t accessible except by private transport? How do you manage those?

Nobody I know is affording a wedding in a location like that so I’ve no concern there.

I’ve never been invited to a wedding so remote there aren’t taxis @Waolom . I get to the nearest station and take a taxi. If it’s somewhere that doesn’t have taxis I wouldn’t go but I’d say that’s near impossible. In my group at least.

Namechangerage · 05/05/2026 11:03

Shinyandnew1 · 05/05/2026 10:56

I have a number of friends whose mum/MIL law never learn to drive/don’t like to drive/don’t drive if they have to turn right/go in a scary road/use a roundabout etc and whose husbands have stopped driving or died so can no longer ferry them around. I expect you can guess who is being expected to do it now!

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Can they not get taxis? Neither me or my DH drive. I don’t expect a man to ferry me about (other than uber drivers on occasion). I get the bus, walk or take the train. My kids will not be expected to drive me about should they learn to drive!!

Shinyandnew1 · 05/05/2026 11:05

Namechangerage · 05/05/2026 11:03

Can they not get taxis? Neither me or my DH drive. I don’t expect a man to ferry me about (other than uber drivers on occasion). I get the bus, walk or take the train. My kids will not be expected to drive me about should they learn to drive!!

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They are generally in their 80s now and hearing is going so don’t like using the phone either!

TigerRag · 05/05/2026 11:50

Namechangerage · 05/05/2026 10:59

I’ve never been invited to a wedding so remote there aren’t taxis @Waolom . I get to the nearest station and take a taxi. If it’s somewhere that doesn’t have taxis I wouldn’t go but I’d say that’s near impossible. In my group at least.

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My sister's wedding was a bit remote. Her and her DH organised a coach to pick us up and drop us back

Flamingojune · 05/05/2026 11:52

Getting taxis to remote wedding locations is also good for the local economy

JaelsTentpeg · 05/05/2026 13:51

Some people don't realise that they are one incident or illness away from being unable to drive.

ThingsAreNotWhatTheyWere · 05/05/2026 13:53

JaelsTentpeg · 05/05/2026 13:51

Some people don't realise that they are one incident or illness away from being unable to drive.

Yep, a stroke 3 years ago made me medically unfit to drive...

floraldreamer · 05/05/2026 17:35

YummyPieCrust · 05/05/2026 10:42

I work in a corporate space and closely with HR managers. People who don't drive are never viewed as serious or capable candidates. I'm not saying it's fair, or unfair, I'm just trying to demonstrate that it's not just other drivers that think not driving is self-limiting. The perceived limitations are shared within the hiring industry so have a knock on effect, I suppose, for the wider populations opinion.

The Police can be a bit like this too.
I trained a few years ago (have left now) and most if not all of the locations we needed to get to required driving, just for the training period. None drivers would've really struggled.

FancyAnOlive · 05/05/2026 18:11

KimberleyClark · 05/05/2026 10:33

I’m also pretty sure I have ADHD and possible autism and I also took years to learn to drive. I eventually passed on my 5th go. I think what made the difference was finding the right instructor. All my previous ones talked too much. This one didn’t say anything unless he needed to or to give directions. This helped my concentration and confidence no end.

Also, have you tried an automatic? Although I passed in a manual I have driven automatics for the past 20 years and it is so much easier and I would never go back.

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Sadly 3 out of my 5 failed attempts were in an automatic! I definitely found it easier but I failed every single test on observation. The world is safer without me out there!

FancyAnOlive · 05/05/2026 18:17

YummyPieCrust · 05/05/2026 10:42

I work in a corporate space and closely with HR managers. People who don't drive are never viewed as serious or capable candidates. I'm not saying it's fair, or unfair, I'm just trying to demonstrate that it's not just other drivers that think not driving is self-limiting. The perceived limitations are shared within the hiring industry so have a knock on effect, I suppose, for the wider populations opinion.

Some people who don't drive have disabilities though - actually I didn't take my test when I was young because I had epilepsy in those days and wasn't allowed to drive. I have a relative with limited vision who is also unable to drive. Unless it's a job that requires driving, why on earth would anyone hiring you even think about that? Seems bizarre.

YummyPieCrust · 05/05/2026 18:40

FancyAnOlive · 05/05/2026 18:17

Some people who don't drive have disabilities though - actually I didn't take my test when I was young because I had epilepsy in those days and wasn't allowed to drive. I have a relative with limited vision who is also unable to drive. Unless it's a job that requires driving, why on earth would anyone hiring you even think about that? Seems bizarre.

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I think you'd probably disclose disabilities relevant to driving at application or interview stage so really isn't the source of the thought process in these cases.

Zanatdy · 05/05/2026 19:04

I think most people just know people who rely heavily on people for lifts, and assume you do the same, which you don’t. Most people have at least one friend who expects others to go out of their way to give them a lift. This person never has to be the designated driver or drive an extra 10-15 mins on each journey, and often gets another parent to drop their kid off for them. Granted that you do none of these things, but you’re tarred with the same brush as the CF non drivers who most of us ‘know and love’.

floraldreamer · 06/05/2026 09:42

For me, having a partner who doesn't drive makes me feel by default the 'more responsible' one. Even if partner doesn't ask for a lift to the hospital/appointment/to pick something up, I still feel as though as a driver, I should do it rather than they have to use public transport taking up more of their time, or pay for an uber when I can sort out the problem far more cheaply.

If we go out for dinner, I feel unreasonable to not drive. If we BOTH didn't drive, default is public transport or Uber but because I do, it feels like I should. And then It's me who has to concentrate on the drive, find out where to park, not have a glass of red etc etc. It just makes me feel like I am the 'adult' in the situation and they're a child. I am not saying everyone feels or should feel like this but it puts a power imbalance in place for me. Same as if we run out of something, yes partner could walk to the nearest shop (maybe 15 mins walk so taking 40 mins there and back, ish) but I am sitting here doing nothing, so It's up to me to go and get it and because I drive, and It's cheaper to go to the further away supermarket, I should. Feels unfair.