Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Turn your son in knowing it’s the death penalty?

1000 replies

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 15:28

Kirk’s killer has apparently been turned in by his family - or persuaded to hand himself in.
Trump &’his supporters have been very vocal about getting the death penalty for the shooter.

would YOU hand your child over, knowing that the electric chair would be the likely outcome?

YANBU - I wouldn’t turn him in to die.

YABU - I would he’s a killer and deserves all he gets

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Pollqueen · 12/09/2025 16:27

Pixiedust49 · 12/09/2025 15:39

I don’t agree with the death penalty but…. if my son or daughter had been shot in cold blood would I feel differently about the killer? Maybe….

This. I fundamentally disagree with the death penalty but had it been my loved one shot dead, then i don't know, maybe I would agree with it

It's very easy to have beliefs and principles when you have not walked in the victim's shoes

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2025 16:27

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:18

My son is far more important to me than any stranger and I would protect him and defend him against anyone or anything. I can sleep fine knowing that

@Hoppinggreen really?
If they murdered and abused a child? You need the think about the reality of you covering that up & it coming out.

Yes
I don't need to think about anything.
The ONLY reason for turning him in would be his safety or the safety of others, mostly his.
Might make some people uncomfortable but I don't much care

hadjustaboutenough · 12/09/2025 16:28

Seriously? I sympathise with his father. That must be the most difficult thing he's ever done, but it had to be done. I'm thankful that he had more guts and a better moral compass than some on here apparently do!

Anonymouseposter · 12/09/2025 16:28

MyDeftHedgehog · 12/09/2025 15:50

Even if the defendant had murdered one of your loved ones?

Even in that case I wouldn’t want the death penalty so wouldn’t turn them in. **

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:29

@NamelessNancy but if you lived in a country with the death penalty you would keep quiet about a child rapist & murderer

"said up thread I would not turn anyone in if likely to face the death penalty"

Devilsmommy · 12/09/2025 16:30

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 15:32

I believe the dealt penalty is about revenge not justice, and often used against the poorest in societies, so oppose it. Can’t imagine handing my child in to be killed by the state, regardless of their crime.

To be honest the only thing id turn mine in for in a death penalty case would be the rape and murder of a child. I couldn't live with myself if I knew that and did nothing

Goatinthegarden · 12/09/2025 16:30

I didn’t agree with Kirk’s views or politics.
I don’t agree with his shooting.
I don’t agree with hiding criminals.
I don’t agree with the death penalty.
I don’t have a child.
I wouldn’t live in America because (from my quite uninformed understanding) I don’t believe their political and legal system aligns with my values.

I don’t know what I would do if I were the parent.

CaptainMyCaptain · 12/09/2025 16:30

Thisistyresome · 12/09/2025 16:23

I don't know much about what he actually thought, but I do know I will not get a great picture by consuming rage bait on the internet.

I noticed you commented positively to someone else claiming:
He "would have commended his son to death if he turned out to be gay."

Which was a lie spread online by a number of people and now has the likes of Stephen King posting apologies for spreading them.

I have seen clips regarding gun deaths but I don't know the full context of them but I also understand the debates around guns are not as simple as most people make out.

I would suggest your quick acceptance of false information and then denouncing someone as "evil" probably means you probably, like me don't have a great grasp of what the victim actually thought.

In light of that, perhaps you may want to pause posting hateful things about them for a few day or until you actually have a proper understanding.

I wasn't responding to that bit, I was responding to his views on abortion and guns. He was strongly in favour of gun ownership and that is how he died. Of course the world isn't actually a better place now.

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 16:31

Pollqueen · 12/09/2025 16:27

This. I fundamentally disagree with the death penalty but had it been my loved one shot dead, then i don't know, maybe I would agree with it

It's very easy to have beliefs and principles when you have not walked in the victim's shoes

As above, I can completely understand and empathise with a victim's loved ones wanting the death penalty as revenge. I even accept in that situation I may feel the same.

Law should not, however, be based on revenge but should be measured and dispassionate. Anything else is uncivilised and barbaric imo.

Vaxtable · 12/09/2025 16:31

I don’t agree with the deathpenalty

however in many states in the US it’s there

like any country when adults undertake actions they do so knowing the consequences. The killer murdered someone knowing the consequence could be the death penalty

I would still hand them over, and then not have anything to do with them, setting aside thoughts on CK he was the father of two children who now grow up without him in their lives, the action was heinous, they don’t deserve to be part of my family

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:31

@Hoppinggreen wow, I think that's horrific.

Might make some people uncomfortable but I don't much care

I think it's abhorrent but like you said you don't care.

hadjustaboutenough · 12/09/2025 16:33

The only convincing argument against the death penalty, in my view, is the chance of someone being executed for a crime they didn't commit. In this case, he confessed to his father. He matches the photos of the suspect. He'll get a fair trial, but it seems clear that he committed this crime. In my book, you do the crime, you do the time—or in this case, possibly pay the ultimate price for your actions.

Again, I feel sorry for his family's suffering, but his father did the right thing by turning him in. Realistically, I can't believe he'd ever have gotten away with it, anyway, and he may well have found himself backed into a corner and driven to take his own life.

Jeschara · 12/09/2025 16:33

"What if your child took another innocent life? How long would you overlook his behavior?"
As long as the state still has the death penalty. Also its not about overlooking the behaviour its about state sanctioned murder. I would not be prepared to sit and watch the state take my sons life, as his Mother, like they let close relatives watch in America. If you can so be it. I would not be prepared to do it.

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 16:33

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:29

@NamelessNancy but if you lived in a country with the death penalty you would keep quiet about a child rapist & murderer

"said up thread I would not turn anyone in if likely to face the death penalty"

I am fundamentally opposed to the death penalty in all cases. Hopefully this will never lead to me facing the prospect you outline as I would never chose to live in a jurisdiction which killed people.

Whateverwillwedonow · 12/09/2025 16:33

Hard one- I don’t believe in the death penalty but I would want my family member to face the consequences. If it was life in jail absolutely yes I would hand them in. I don’t know what I would do. Apart from the fact that I would never live in a country that had the death penalty

I don’t believe he should have been shot but did not support his views at all. The person killed another human.

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:33

@Devilsmommy what about if they were a serial killer or a terrorist?

PiggyPigalle · 12/09/2025 16:33

What a decision, to turn in your child. Maybe it should be the victim's family or near victims who decide whether the death penalty or jail.

Did you read how the woman who organised the dance morning in Southport is being treated by parents and the public? She's also concerned that she could be a trigger to those girls who survived.
It's that ghastly creature who tried to kill them who is the trigger. His very distinctive picture will be shown throughout their lives, along with stories of his continuing violence in prison.
For that reason, his death would probably help them.

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:34

@NamelessNancy that's not answering my question.

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:35

Did you read how the woman who organised the dance morning in Southport is being treated by parents and the public

There are people on this thread who wouldn't turn their dc in for committing a Southport attack if they faced the death penalty. I'm quite shocked.

Cherrytree86 · 12/09/2025 16:36

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 12/09/2025 15:42

Nope I sure as hell wouldn’t be turning him in. It would be like throwing him away. This government are not just, moral, ethical in any sense, so why would you?

@unsurewhattodoaboutit

umm maybe ‘cos he’d killed a man? You know, cold blooded murder??

RingoJuice · 12/09/2025 16:36

Jeschara · 12/09/2025 16:33

"What if your child took another innocent life? How long would you overlook his behavior?"
As long as the state still has the death penalty. Also its not about overlooking the behaviour its about state sanctioned murder. I would not be prepared to sit and watch the state take my sons life, as his Mother, like they let close relatives watch in America. If you can so be it. I would not be prepared to do it.

So you’d sit by and allow your son to take innocent lives?

Boomer55 · 12/09/2025 16:36

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 15:28

Kirk’s killer has apparently been turned in by his family - or persuaded to hand himself in.
Trump &’his supporters have been very vocal about getting the death penalty for the shooter.

would YOU hand your child over, knowing that the electric chair would be the likely outcome?

YANBU - I wouldn’t turn him in to die.

YABU - I would he’s a killer and deserves all he gets

I wouldn’t. But people do what people do. 🤷‍♀️

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 16:36

@bapples1 I could never make myself complicit in a state sanctioned killing and stand by my first statement. Again, supporters of the death penalty need to recognise this very real barrier to achieving actual justice.

Cherrytree86 · 12/09/2025 16:37

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:35

Did you read how the woman who organised the dance morning in Southport is being treated by parents and the public

There are people on this thread who wouldn't turn their dc in for committing a Southport attack if they faced the death penalty. I'm quite shocked.

Wow, really?! Surely everybody would turn in their son/daughter if they committed such an atrocity?!

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:37

@Cherrytree86 they are on the thread @Cherrytree86 is one.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread