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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Turn your son in knowing it’s the death penalty?

1000 replies

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 15:28

Kirk’s killer has apparently been turned in by his family - or persuaded to hand himself in.
Trump &’his supporters have been very vocal about getting the death penalty for the shooter.

would YOU hand your child over, knowing that the electric chair would be the likely outcome?

YANBU - I wouldn’t turn him in to die.

YABU - I would he’s a killer and deserves all he gets

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:37

Sorry @Cherrytree86 @NamelessNancy is one of

tripleginandtonic · 12/09/2025 16:38

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 15:33

I wouldn't turn anyone in if the death penalty was likely. Neither would I find them guilty as a juror. It's barbaric and has no place in a civilised society.

So you'd let Myra Hindley go free for eg if the death penalty existed. I don't agree with it but your job as a juror isn't to let a guilty torturer/murderer walk free.
.

OneAmusedShark · 12/09/2025 16:38

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 15:28

Kirk’s killer has apparently been turned in by his family - or persuaded to hand himself in.
Trump &’his supporters have been very vocal about getting the death penalty for the shooter.

would YOU hand your child over, knowing that the electric chair would be the likely outcome?

YANBU - I wouldn’t turn him in to die.

YABU - I would he’s a killer and deserves all he gets

In America you tend not to get the death penalty if you plead Guilty.

Incidentally it’s not electric chair- in Utah you get the choice of lethal injection or firing squad.

Bear in mind that even in the UK if you commit a murder to advance a political,
ideological or religious cause you get a Whole Life Order (Life Without Parole).

Killing someone because you disagree with them really is an assault on democracy itself.

I disagree profoundly with a lot of what these right wing Americans stand for, but I respect their right to hold and express views I hold abhorrent.

The ballot box is, and should remain, king.

“The pen is mightier than the sword” is how things should stay.

Oldglasses · 12/09/2025 16:38

Id like to say I’d turn them in to face the music. but who knows in reality. Luckily we live in the UK.

It’s all well and good saying and doing ‘the right thing’ until if affects you personally.

KimberleyClark · 12/09/2025 16:39

Eyesopenwideawake · 12/09/2025 15:58

Don't forget that Daddy would have theoretically forced his 10 year old daughter to give birth to child as a result of rape and would have commended his son to death if he turned out to be gay.

That's what he preached.

I totally disagree with the death penalty but, and I hate to say this, at least this man is no longer poisoning young minds.

PreciousTatas · 12/09/2025 16:40

A death should never be condoned by the state in my opinion, but it is unfortunately a penalty in many countries.

Perhaps the family is hoping if he turned himself in for some leniency, life imprisonment instead of the death penalty.

I believe the foulest human beings should spend their lives confined away unable to harm others.

If this was my own son I would believe this too and would convince them to hand themselves in. It was also someone's beloved son who was brutally murdered, and who knows how many could have lost their lives in a shoot out confrontation.

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2025 16:40

hadjustaboutenough · 12/09/2025 16:28

Seriously? I sympathise with his father. That must be the most difficult thing he's ever done, but it had to be done. I'm thankful that he had more guts and a better moral compass than some on here apparently do!

Or he thought it was the safest thing for his son?

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 16:41

Again, I'm very glad it is never likely to be an issue as I would never willingly live in a country with the death penalty. I am absolutely not alone in my beliefs. It is why i would be excluded as a juror in the states on a death penalty case. And rightly so.

BettysRoasties · 12/09/2025 16:41

KimberleyClark · 12/09/2025 16:39

I totally disagree with the death penalty but, and I hate to say this, at least this man is no longer poisoning young minds.

You’d be wrong there. This killer just made the man a saint in many young people’s eyes.

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 12/09/2025 16:41

tripleginandtonic · 12/09/2025 16:38

So you'd let Myra Hindley go free for eg if the death penalty existed. I don't agree with it but your job as a juror isn't to let a guilty torturer/murderer walk free.
.

If the death penalty was on the cards and I couldn't be excused from a jury I would have a very hard time finding someone guilty, their death would weigh on my conscience forever.

I don't know how jurors can do it honestly.

IThinkPink · 12/09/2025 16:42

I would not want to put staff through the extra danger of managing an individual facing the DP

nobody ever thinks of us poor sods managing behaviour of men with no hope.

OneAmusedShark · 12/09/2025 16:42

PleaseGetBetter · 12/09/2025 15:33

Makes me laugh how all these “pro lifers” lose their beliefs when it comes to the death penalty.

I’ve heard an American say that “the convicted murderer knew the law and knew the consequences before getting the death penalty.

What crime did the unborn child commit to deserve to die?”

Not saying that’s right, but that’s the thinking.

MaggieBsBoat · 12/09/2025 16:42

TitanicWasAGreatMovie · 12/09/2025 15:32

I don't think I could, but something has clearly gone very wrong that they raised an assassin.

This statement is horribly unfair. Without evidence to the contrary they are probably a normal, loving family.

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2025 16:42

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:31

@Hoppinggreen wow, I think that's horrific.

Might make some people uncomfortable but I don't much care

I think it's abhorrent but like you said you don't care.

I genuinely don't
I think that turning over your son like that is horrific (unless as I said it was the safest thing for them)

IGaveSoManySigns · 12/09/2025 16:43

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 16:41

Again, I'm very glad it is never likely to be an issue as I would never willingly live in a country with the death penalty. I am absolutely not alone in my beliefs. It is why i would be excluded as a juror in the states on a death penalty case. And rightly so.

I find this so strange? If you take a life you should lose your life.

EarthlyNightshade · 12/09/2025 16:43

tripleginandtonic · 12/09/2025 16:38

So you'd let Myra Hindley go free for eg if the death penalty existed. I don't agree with it but your job as a juror isn't to let a guilty torturer/murderer walk free.
.

I don't think anyone here is saying they would let a murderer go free. If I was on the jury, I would support life without parole.

If it was my son though, I wouldn't be on the jury.

OldMcDonaldHadABigMac · 12/09/2025 16:43

jasflowers · 12/09/2025 15:54

Your own son? who you gave birth too?

You'd send him screaming and shitting himself, literally, to a firing squad?

Fuck no

It could be argued that he sent himself into that firing squad.

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 16:44

I hadn’t thought about the family’s safety. Being the US I suppose there was a high chance of heavily armed police and forces finding his identity and busting into their house and killing everyone in it.

OP posts:
AnnaFrith · 12/09/2025 16:44

I hope I would be strong enough to do the right thing, and turn him in.

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:44

@Hoppinggreen safest thing for them is a bit vague, what do you mean by that?

Do your sons know that if they raped or murdered someone you would cover it up?

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 16:45

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 12/09/2025 16:41

If the death penalty was on the cards and I couldn't be excused from a jury I would have a very hard time finding someone guilty, their death would weigh on my conscience forever.

I don't know how jurors can do it honestly.

And the great news is that Hindley was not facing the death penalty and jurors were able to ensure justice was done.

Many nations have rejected the death penalty and will refuse to extradite criminals to states which do. Is that not the same thing on a different scale?

Cherrytree86 · 12/09/2025 16:45

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2025 16:27

Yes
I don't need to think about anything.
The ONLY reason for turning him in would be his safety or the safety of others, mostly his.
Might make some people uncomfortable but I don't much care

@Hoppinggreen

i bet in reality if it actually happened you would be so repulsed and horrified that you would turn them in.

CheerfulYank · 12/09/2025 16:45

Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know.

I’ve been sick and sad since this all happened- I don’t know what’s become of this country or how we can possibly find our way again.

I live in Minnesota, so this past summer saw one of our representatives and her husband murdered due to political violence and of course, the unspeakable shooting at the Catholic school.

My heart has been in my throat sending my kids to school lately. I’ve thought of seeing the doctor for something for anxiety, actually, to make it through. I’ve been ill over it and I love them so much, I can’t stand to think of something happening to them.

But if they killed and I was afraid they’d do it again? Oh God, I don’t know. Minnesota doesn’t have the death penalty, hasn’t in over a century, but if it did…

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/09/2025 16:47

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/09/2025 15:38

I presume his family know him fairly well and what’s been reported so far seems to indicate they’ve had concerns for some time and now fear he may kill again. If they don’t turn him in, how many other people might he murder?

I don’t support the death penalty but if it were that or fearing that my kid might go on to become the perpetrator of perhaps even more heinous crimes, yes, I’d turn them in.

Edited

This is what I think. How would you live with yourself if your relative went on to commit another heinous offence and you could have prevented it?

Also, this being the US, if the death penalty isn't applied, the term of imprisonment is likely to be many, many decades. I'm not sure I'd feel that was preferable.

Cherrytree86 · 12/09/2025 16:47

OldMcDonaldHadABigMac · 12/09/2025 16:43

It could be argued that he sent himself into that firing squad.

@jasflowers

why would he literally be shitting himself? You mean soiling himself?? Random

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