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Original poster

To dislike most people nowadays ?

168 replies

thvfemot · 12/09/2025 13:05

Is this an age thing? I’m nearly 40 and I just don’t like many people. I like my own space and I think most people are dickheads. I would rather be alone than with people.

OP posts:
Catpiece · 12/09/2025 13:08

Yep, but then I’ve always been like that. Put a brave face on for school and all my years at work but now I’m retired I don’t see anyone I don’t want to see or go anywhere I don’t have to go. Rather just be left alone than have to deal with their shit

user9637 · 12/09/2025 13:10

I get it but don’t let it become you. Or you’ll end up one of those miserable people with no friends. You’re not even that old

verycloakanddaggers · 12/09/2025 13:14

I think I like my own space and I think most people are dickheads are completely different things.

The former is fine. The latter suggests you have a superiority complex.

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/09/2025 13:18

Well, it’s a bit circular. If you give off the attitude that you don’t like people, people will read that from you and respond in kind, and you’ll perpetually be meeting people who you think seem unpleasant as a result. It’s fine to prefer to be be a homebody and like your own company over all else though, nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy.

There was an interesting sociology study of thousands of college students done a few years ago, which concluded that consistently, the young people who were most liked and most popular were those who themselves liked and positively acknowledged a lot of people around them, and saw that energy reciprocated. Which makes a lot of sense.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/09/2025 13:23

No I don't. I think you don't like most people then chances are you probably actually don't like yourself very much.

In my experience the vast majority of people who have this "hate people" mentality do so as a kind of defence tactic because they expect to be disliked so they try to get the hate in first. There have always been a few people who do this but it seems to have been turbo-charged after COVID with the new fashion for "introversion". Most people who call themselves introverts aren't introverts at all, they are awkward, socially anxious people looking to buy themselves a free pass not to have to bother with people.

As @ComtesseDeSpair points out its a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you're finding most people objectionable you're almost certainly putting them off through your behaviour. If you try to at least admit the possibility that they aren't all arseholes you might be pleasantly surprised.

Orangesandlemons77 · 12/09/2025 15:56

This seems to be common in perimenopause

Harriet9955 · 12/09/2025 16:00

I am a lot less tolerant of them as I get older. I just find people really irritating and entitled.

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 12/09/2025 16:07

user9637 · 12/09/2025 13:10

I get it but don’t let it become you. Or you’ll end up one of those miserable people with no friends. You’re not even that old

Why does having no friends make you miserable?

I don't have any, I don't want any, and I'm absolutely fine. I go out, do my own thing, chat to people at a gig or when I'm walking the dog, and then just do my own thing the rest of the time without worrying about calling and messaging and checking in etc. Its pretty freeing actually.

ComfortFoodCafe · 12/09/2025 16:10

user9637 · 12/09/2025 13:10

I get it but don’t let it become you. Or you’ll end up one of those miserable people with no friends. You’re not even that old

I have no friends, im not miserable. will happily chat to people when im out & about, live a fullfilling life.

BallybunionTao · 12/09/2025 16:13

verycloakanddaggers · 12/09/2025 13:14

I think I like my own space and I think most people are dickheads are completely different things.

The former is fine. The latter suggests you have a superiority complex.

Yes, I love my own space. But I don't in the least think 'most people' are dickheads. I think most people are decent. The people I want to befriend and actively have in my life are only a relatively small subsection of the vast majority of perfectly nice people, but that's fine.

And I think that if, at whatever age, you keep encountering endless dickheads over and over, you're either chronically unlucky or it's you.

MoltenLasagne · 12/09/2025 16:13

Most people are dickheads? Maybe you move into different circles to me, but I'd say most people I meet are fine, and occasionally some are annoying.

To not quite quote a saying, "If you run into a dickhead in the morning, you ran into a dickhead. If you run into dickheads all day - maybe you’re the dickhead."

MeDadMeDad · 12/09/2025 16:15

40 here and feel a little like you. I like people but only in small doses.
I put up with people if I have to or choose to.
I much prefer my dogs company rather than people.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 12/09/2025 16:18

I’m gradually weeding out people and replacing them with animals.

Much better.

middleagedandinarage · 12/09/2025 16:21

YANBU - I feel the same. Feel like since I've gotten a bit older and had kids so many things about so many people really irritate me and I just generally find my own (and my immediate families) company so much more enjoyable

greengreyblue · 12/09/2025 16:21

Most people are lovely. Some people are dickheads. Some people are introverts and others are extroverts . We are all human.

greengreyblue · 12/09/2025 16:21

Most people are lovely. Some people are dickheads. Some people are introverts and others are extroverts . We are all human.

DonaldJohnTrump · 12/09/2025 16:34

I reckon you and me would get on bigly.

NotSmallButFunSize · 12/09/2025 17:02

MoltenLasagne · 12/09/2025 16:13

Most people are dickheads? Maybe you move into different circles to me, but I'd say most people I meet are fine, and occasionally some are annoying.

To not quite quote a saying, "If you run into a dickhead in the morning, you ran into a dickhead. If you run into dickheads all day - maybe you’re the dickhead."

But there genuinely are So. Many. Dickheads.

Justwrong68 · 12/09/2025 17:16

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/09/2025 13:18

Well, it’s a bit circular. If you give off the attitude that you don’t like people, people will read that from you and respond in kind, and you’ll perpetually be meeting people who you think seem unpleasant as a result. It’s fine to prefer to be be a homebody and like your own company over all else though, nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy.

There was an interesting sociology study of thousands of college students done a few years ago, which concluded that consistently, the young people who were most liked and most popular were those who themselves liked and positively acknowledged a lot of people around them, and saw that energy reciprocated. Which makes a lot of sense.

My take away from this is to pretend to like everyone so that they like you back. How depressing

BallybunionTao · 12/09/2025 17:28

Justwrong68 · 12/09/2025 17:16

My take away from this is to pretend to like everyone so that they like you back. How depressing

Show quote history

But the point is they're not pretending. They're just not visibly bristling with rage and irritation at contact with fellow human beings.

OriginalUsername2 · 12/09/2025 17:28

Are people actually giving you grief or is it just a feeling?

I think we see the worst of people online and assume everyone is a dick these days. It can seem like everyone is sat poised for an argument.

JNicholson · 12/09/2025 17:37

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/09/2025 13:23

No I don't. I think you don't like most people then chances are you probably actually don't like yourself very much.

In my experience the vast majority of people who have this "hate people" mentality do so as a kind of defence tactic because they expect to be disliked so they try to get the hate in first. There have always been a few people who do this but it seems to have been turbo-charged after COVID with the new fashion for "introversion". Most people who call themselves introverts aren't introverts at all, they are awkward, socially anxious people looking to buy themselves a free pass not to have to bother with people.

As @ComtesseDeSpair points out its a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you're finding most people objectionable you're almost certainly putting them off through your behaviour. If you try to at least admit the possibility that they aren't all arseholes you might be pleasantly surprised.

Most people who call themselves introverts aren't introverts at all, they are awkward, socially anxious people looking to buy themselves a free pass not to have to bother with people.

I don’t really get this. Being an introvert and being awkward and socially anxious surely aren’t mutually exclusive? Why would an extrovert want a free pass not to have to bother with people?

TorroFerney · 12/09/2025 17:41

NotSmallButFunSize · 12/09/2025 17:02

But there genuinely are So. Many. Dickheads.

Show quote history

But there are genuinely many who aren't don't you think?

Daughterofthesea · 12/09/2025 17:46

YANBU I am the same and I’ve been like it for years.
I am completely at peace with it.

Shegotanology · 12/09/2025 17:46

Yep. People are gross. We're parasites that can't help but destroy our home.