To dislike most people nowadays ?

[thvfemot]

Is this an age thing? I’m nearly 40 and I just don’t like many people. I like my own space and I think most people are dickheads. I would rather be alone than with people.

No I don't agree. Some people just don't enjoy being around other people. Some people do. We are all different and there's room for everyone. You could subvert what you are saying and say that people who can't get by without being around lots of other people cannot tolerate their own company and rely on others to make them feel whole.

I agree OP, I think it comes with being older and wiser.

@Ownedbykitties

I don't agree. Some people just don't enjoy being around other people. Some people do. We are all different and there's room for everyone. You could subvert what you are saying and say that people who can't get by without being around lots of other people cannot tolerate their own company and rely on others to make them feel whole.

I am not talking about people who like a quiet life and avoid big social gatherings, I am talking specifically about people who claim to “dislike people” or “hate people”. Its a very different thing.

A lot of people at the moment misuse the word introversion when they actually mean misanthropy.

A lot of people at the moment misuse the word introversion when they actually mean misanthropy.

I agree. It happens a lot on here.

All the introverts I know actually like other people. They just need more down time alone.

A lot of people at the moment misuse the word introversion when they actually mean misanthropy.

I agree. It happens a lot on here.

All the introverts I know actually like other people. They just need more down time alone.

A lot of my friends are turning increasingly right wing.
I'm not going to surround myself with morons. They're gone.

Old and grumpy does not equal wise

Totally agree with this list, and could add more - but don't agree that everyone is on 'this list'.

It means discerning. There is a difference.

I do believe as we get older our bs meter gets better. Our patience for stupidity and ignorance gets less. Your circle naturally gets smaller. I think k if you are happy by yourself there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Find your people. Don't totally become a recluse and I think you are fine. Being ok, being alone doesn't mean you closed yourself off. I like to think of it as refining our palate.

I think by the time you’re 40 you have enough data that you can spot patterns, and it’s easier to identify a dickhead-in-waiting before they have the chance to prove their dickheadedness beyond reasonable doubt.

My theory is that people who get along easily with everyone don’t have very well-developed spidey senses, and can’t tell when people around them are unstable or antisocial in subtle ways.

Possibly because they grew up in safe and secure environments where you didn’t have to start from the assumption that most people around you were volatile or dreadfully moody or a bit insane, and work out how not to trigger them.

But once you’re familiar with the little signs that someone has it in them to be mercenary or controlling or manipulative or sadistic or just a plain old emotional vampire, you can’t unsee them.

I don’t think most people are dickheads, as it happens. But just as I can spot dickheads, they instantly recognise me as someone who was raised by dickheads, and groomed to meet their needs, and so they make a beeline for me wherever I go.

So I tend to keep a low profile! I stick with the few people I am 100% certain are not dickheads.

I had a friend like that. She unfriended me due to my "strong" opinions 🤣 She was convinced that after 'over a 100 hours of research' (on google) she had discovered that doctors know that vaccines are dangerous and doctors across the world are collaborating to hide the truth from the rest of us. She sent me links to a site run by Dr Mercola (who does actually have a bonafide medical degree) who coincidentally can sell you a pill or potion to solve every problem. Despite the fact that she has TWO degrees (law and psychology) she couldn't see that because Dr Mercola stands to benefit financially, his advice might be biased ..... or even totally and utterly wrong.

This friend used to be interested in Buddhism, yoga and meditation. She had lots of friends from many different countries. I really admired her open-mindedness. Now she is blaming all the world's problems on immigration and is incredibly racist. It's amazing how much somebody can change.

@VoltaireMittyDream

My theory is that people who get along easily with everyone don’t have very well-developed spidey senses, and can’t tell when people around them are unstable or antisocial in subtle ways

Or maybe we can but we choose to give people the benefit of the doubt?

I have as much hard-wired prejudice as the next person and I make snap judgments. But I have had to unwind so many judgments in the past based on people defying the prejudice I had that I have learned my lesson.

Sometimes the people who wind you up the most when you first meet them go on to be lifelong friends and the people you thought were perfect for you are cynical users. First impressions are not always right.

This. I generally like most people in small groups or individually but en masse humans are dickheads. Traffic jams- most people in those cars on an individual basis can drive but put them en masse in heavy traffic they drive like dickheads bunching up and cutting people up. Humans are good when everyone has enough resources but take those away….. personally I am happy to make small talk and can find things in common with most people but I have a small circle of close friends for over 30 years and it is how I like it.

I work in the community supporting older adults. The ones that think the world is full of dickheads to are are often most isolated.

It is fine to enjoy your own company, but it is not okay to write off most of society as 'dickheads', I would work on that before it becomes too late, and your hate becomes a large part of your personality. In your 60s, 70s and beyond, you are going to need people - old age can be awfully lonely.

I find it this too. I climb and dive and men on the crags and at the water are always very polite and kind to me- I would even use the word chivalrous. I am always polite and gracious back. I really do believe manners are important.

OP never came back?
I wanted to say yabu because being intolerant and possibly arrogant are not virtues.

Are you both young, nice looking and sporty? I bet this has more to do with men getting out of the way.

I find that men open doors for me, and come up to me if I am looking like I need a bit of help and I solely put that down to having big boobs and an alright face.

Most people I know are great. TBF I don’t really know that many people.

Not young anymore almost 50, ok looking I guess and I like sports but not great at it- do have boobs though but hard to see what in a dry suit. I am always shocked by rude behaviour though so maybe I expect manners - I don’t know.

I don’t like most people but I’m also very lonely. I wish I liked more people. I wish people were nicer

I think you're spot on with your post! I often think how there aren't many people I like, even the ones I like don't like me, I don't like anyone I work with, why bother etc. But I do have social anxiety, and very low self esteem.

I’m not anxious or socially awkward and I’m well liked. I just don’t like most people, fewer every year

My theory is that people who get along easily with everyone don’t have very well-developed spidey senses, and can’t tell when people around them are unstable or antisocial in subtle ways

I don't agree. My bullshit radar is well developed. I don't have hundreds of friends and don't consider myself hugely popular, but when the chips are down the kindness and support I have had from friends has been wonderful.

I treat people how I would like to be treated myself. I think that comes from confidence and social awareness.