To dislike most people nowadays ?

[thvfemot]

Is this an age thing? I’m nearly 40 and I just don’t like many people. I like my own space and I think most people are dickheads. I would rather be alone than with people.

I know it is me but I have never knowingly went out of my way to hurt anyone. Quite the opposite. Most people are quite scary and will find something to find fault in people they see as weaker or inferior on some way. Seen it time and time again.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I’m very sociable and friendly. Can chat to anyone. I’m really interested in people. But I’m an introvert. Too much and l feel exhausted. I was very extrovert when younger, but became more introverted as l got older. I like people. But not lots of them all the time.

That’s totally fine and normal, I am a bit like this too.

But thats not what is happening here. It’s people who have decided they “hate/dislike” other people and pass it off under the guise of “being an introvert”.

It’s not the same thing at all.

I loathe the vast majority of humanity.

All of us.

Agreed. I completely misread someone with whom I’ve been close friends for a quarter of a century when I first met her. Sometimes it’s lovely for your first impressions to be completely mistaken.

And while I am a hypervigilant person (CSA will do that), I recognise that this is an aspect of my personality, created by unfortunate circumstances in childhood, and not an indication that most people are wrong’uns.

I’ll go so far as to say that if you think ‘most people’ are awful, you’re just lazy. It’s a pose that allows you to dismiss everyone else before you know them.

Most people who call themselves introverts aren't introverts at all, they are awkward, socially anxious people looking to buy themselves a free pass not to have to bother with people.

I can only speak for myself, but no. I have always worked in 'people' roles, Education, Social work, and housing. Most people I come into contact with assume I'm a people person, outgoing, confident and invested. The truth is that despite needing a lot of alone time to decompress and relax, being fundamentally an analytical and critical thinker who is happier reading and pondering the big questions, I like people. I have empathy, I'm concerned and occasionally I meet with people who are capable of equal, reciprocal and decent behaviour towards me.

I've worked with people when they have been at their lowest, most vulnerable, or frankly most angry and hostile and whilst it tests your faith in human nature I still try to tap into that shared human core even when not sharing the same experiences.

I am an introvert. I need time on my own almost as much as need food or sleep. Otherwise I become not just mentally tired but physically exhausted.

Yes, but what you’re saying doesn’t contradict the poster you’re quoting. You like people, you do well in people roles. You are an introvert in that you need unusual amounts of time to rejuvenate from social contact. I’m the same — I have lots of friends, I like socialising, my job is also people-facing, but I need solitude as much as I need sleep. That is normal introvert behaviour. An entirely different thing to being a misanthrope, who hates other people, claims they only like their dog, dislikes social contact.

@KeebabSpider

I am an introvert. I need time on my own almost as much as need food or sleep. Otherwise I become not just mentally tired but physically exhausted.

Sigh....I feel like I've said this a hundred times... I know what an introvert is. I'm talking about an entirely different syndrome which is where someone claims to be an "introvert" when what they actually area is misanthropic, grumpy or socially anxious.

There are hundreds of people posting on here every saying "I'm an introvert, I don't like people". It's a complete distortion of what an actual introvert is.

Is anyone in this thread actually doing that though?

It happens a lot on these kind of threads though.

@Iremembercandlecove

Is anyone in this thread actually doing that though?

The title of the thread is "to dislike most people nowadays". So yes literally a lot of people are. A lot of people see it as a sort of badge of honour to hate or dislike "people". There's roughly a thread a week on it.

I like most people. However, I work on my own in my own office and only see people when they come to get something from me. I don't have family nearby and only see friends now and then. I think if I had to spend more time with people I'd like them a lot less. It's easy to be easy going about people when you aren't stuck with them all the time

I love my own space but I generally like other people .Maybe it's where I live but the majority of people I meet and know are good, generous, kind and funny. You would probably think I'm a dickhead though.

There will always be an echo chamber on mumsnet because there are a lot of misanthropic mumsnetters. I always wonder how on earth they manage to meet their partners and navigate parenthood.

I feel that the internet encourages this. Back in the day we all had to interact with people in person or on the phone, and we built up resilience to do this because there was no other choice.

I realise that there will always be people who will find this impossible, but for someone like me who was frightened to say boo to a goose when I left school in 1977, learning to deal with the public on the phone and in person eventually gave me more confidence to speak to people and enjoy their company.

Nowadays people think "I don't have to anwer the phone/see people I'll just hide behind a screen instead". People don't know how to get out of their comfort zone because they have choices.

@RampantIvy

There will always be an echo chamber on mumsnet because there are a lot of misanthropic mumsnetters. I always wonder how on earth they manage to meet their partners and navigate parenthood.

Totally. It's like these people who say they don't need friends because they have their "little family". How do you meet a partner, which is far more emotionally challenging than making a friend, when you can't bring yourself to speak to people in real life? I find this utterly baffling.

I realise that there will always be people who will find this impossible, but for someone like me who was frightened to say boo to a goose when I left school in 1977, learning to deal with the public on the phone and in person eventually gave me more confidence to speak to people and enjoy their company.
Nowadays people think "I don't have to anwer the phone/see people I'll just hide behind a screen instead". People don't know how to get out of their comfort zone because they have choices.

Absolutely. Not everyone can be a roaring extrovert, and that's fine. But it used to be accepted that people had to learn how to function socially to some degree. People have lost that social muscle and even actively celebrate it these days. I find it very worrying.

It might be of more use to engage with what people are actually saying than just responding in general to what you think people on these types of threads tend to say 🤷‍♀️

The title of the thread is "AIBU To dislike most people nowadays"

shrugs shoulders

Yes, and it reflects the content, and the content of the many other similarly misanthropic threads.

so, “no” in other words