To dislike most people nowadays ?

[thvfemot]

Is this an age thing? I’m nearly 40 and I just don’t like many people. I like my own space and I think most people are dickheads. I would rather be alone than with people.

Totally feel the same... Im late 40s and people just piss me off
Not many i do like the older i get

God, that’s just really, really sad!! True some people ( generally the ones who make the news or magazines simply because they are amusing, scary or silly) are a sandwich short of a picnic - but nearly all humans care and are motivated by the same things - caring for their family and loved ones ( including pets!) , wanting good health and a secure lifestyle. We all bleed the same and we all experience the same emotions- love, fear, excitement, embarrassment, anxiety, loss, humour etc. How you can dismiss a large part of the population seems to say much more about you than them. I’m a fairly shy person but I still see meeting any new human being as an opportunity to widen my knowledge and experience of the world and different perspectives, and I still believe 90% of people are kind and genuine when given the opportunity to be. I’m in my 60s and nothing has ever ( thankfully) changed my opinion on that despite meeting some very unkind or dangerous people through life.

I am with you. Prefer to sit at home and giving more attention yo my rescue old dog.

I used to have lots of friends and a very good social life, till I realised I was doing all the pro active bit, fetching, organising, etc. When I went through a life crisis, they all fled for the hills even those of 35 and 40 years. I realised I had been friends with the wrong people all those years. Nowadays, I belong to strong social groups that do my hobbies etc U3A etc and find that you don't need to have close relationships with people but you can still socialise. I must confess that if I don't have any social contact I do spiral into a cycle of depression so get out to exhibitions, the cinema, and town etc to get some social contact. You need to keep it outside your home and your emotional space. Most people only want a pair of ears to talk at and someone who understands the language they speak. Apart from that, they don't give two pence about other people.

Completely concur, our families come 1st & foremost, in my humblest opinion
💚🤗💚

@VoltaireMittyDream

That’s so relatable it’s scary.

More widely, I read an article that said a series of positive daily interactions with people you don’t know is the key to mental health and happiness. I can’t find it. The upshot was, I think, about the benefits of speaking to strangers in queues and so on. I come, originally, from a place where everyone yacks each other’s ears off all the time. Sometimes to an invasive and punishing degree haha. And yet, I like going back because I can interact happily in small ways every day. Like micro-dosing sociability 😂

I want to be sure I don’t go queer (the old-fashioned usage). My parents were queer.

Haha I think you’re right.

I don’t think you read my full post though. I don’t think most people are dickheads at all! It was a total revelation to me when I grew up and got to choose who I spent time with, that so many people weren’t dickheads! I have plenty of wonderful friends, and as a rule I am friendly and polite with people, and people are friendly and polite with me.

But I am wary of getting any more involved than I absolutely have to with someone if I feel anything is subtly off - not least because I was raised in an environment where I saw what happens when everyone overrides their instincts and gives people the benefit of the doubt and looks for the best in everyone regardless of their strange behaviour or peculiar attitudes, and now that I have a choice I don’t want any more nutjobs in my life.

When I read this thread, that song heathens by twenty one pilots is playing in my head.

It’s like some kind of twilight zone. I wonder if where you all live has any bearing on this. There are definitely some less friendly areas of the UK - the south east and midlands in particular, in my experience of living in both. I bet there are proportionately fewer northerners here.

Yes me too, I find most people (not close family or friends) irritating and they get on my nerves!

You can't have a conversation with a dog

That sounds great to me!

OP just wait till you hit 50 😂The mask simply falls away.

I definitely don't dislike most people, but yeah, there are a lot of drains out there. I didn't used to feel like that. I could put up with a lot. But really, life is short. I'd rather be on my own that spend time with, for example, people who read the Express and think brown men are the root of Britain's problems. Or terfs. I have quietly ended a 20-year friendship because of that, didn't say it out loud but I have. For balance I will say that my days of listening to glib, Guardian-reading men are largely over as well.

Generally I love everyone but when I'm driving, I hate people.

Yes you can 😀

They can't answer you back

I certainly believe some areas attract more dickheads than others, but generally also think most people are ok, just doing their own thing.

I also believe since covid there an element of feral-ness and a growing number of people diving down rabbit holes on social media. But think they are generally in the minority and just have far too much time on their hands and no one in their life to discuss and disagree with.

What if you don’t like your family?
What if, God forbid, your marriage breaks down or your spouse dies?

Also don’t you think the perspective of people outside the family is important? Its so limiting to see the same group of people with the same views and interests all the time.

I’m sorry I find this attitude so depressing.

Well, that's exactly why a certain type of misanthrope likes them. That, and the fact that their adoration is completely uncritical. They don't care if you're a boring bastard.

Yes & like I said in my humblest opinion We can't all have the same views, it would be worrisome if we did
And it's also respectful to bear in mind, it's not like I said, disregard others
Just to me, my family comes 1st & I also,,, love my friends too
I didn't eliminate anyone & I didn't dismiss anyone else's opinion, claiming anyone else was depressing just because their opinions might differ from mine
Live & let live
Each to their own
Although my family, to me, come 1st
There is also a certain member whom's oftentimes unpleasant so we need to respectfully remember, everyone's unique individuality too
Nothing depressing & couldn't be more open minded

If you think it is everyone else, it is you.

Unconditional love is not necessarily a good thing as it implies giving love to someone no matter how much they might mistreat you. I suspect that is why some people fawn over dogs and claim most/all people are arseholes, because people call them out on their bad behaviour/attitudes which dogs cannot do, so the real issue is with them. That, plus dogs can be controlled to a much greater extent than people can.

No this isn’t true.

I’m very sociable and friendly. Can chat to anyone. I’m really interested in people. But I’m an introvert. Too much and l feel exhausted. I was very extrovert when younger, but became more introverted as l got older. I like people. But not lots of them all the time.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Oh they can !