To dislike most people nowadays ?

[thvfemot]

Is this an age thing? I’m nearly 40 and I just don’t like many people. I like my own space and I think most people are dickheads. I would rather be alone than with people.

depends

If you piss people off by existing, yes

Not everyone is an inconsiderate arse however. I am surrounded by neighbours, I only hate one, everyone else just get on with their life without being a nuisance

I am nice and pleasant but fuck me so many people are absolute drains. There is only so much of my time and energy I’m willing to put in with some people before I give up as I never, ever get anything back. Mainly work colleagues but also extended family members, friends of friends and school run acquaintances.

I can’t tell you how utterly wonderful it is when I have an interaction with someone and they show an interest in me and/ or they don’t instantly start moaning about something neither of us have any control over. Or how rare it is that someone I’ve gone out of my way to help says thank you.

There is a real arrogance in thinking everyone else in life is awful and you aren’t.

Aye, but not for long.

Yes: its people who think they are “special”.

“I am so sensitive and intelligent and can’t be expected to concern myself with the trivial behaviour of bourgeois society. My mind is on higher things and I find quotidian concerns exhausting…”

Or alternatively: “I was treated badly by someone/some people, and instead of identifying that as the behaviour of a bad person I have chosen to reflect that perspective back on the whole of society”. Understandable as a short term response to bad behaviour but not sustainable as a long term worldview.

Ultimately it comes down to that age old adage: if you think everyone you meet is an arsehole, it’s worth considering the possibility that you are the arsehole.

Yes, I have been encouraging her to have boundaries and maybe turn her phone off and not answer if she doesn't want to but she says she has not been brought up to do that and would feel bad about it :-(

Unfortunately not really other friends, but she does have family nearby. her sister has recently gone into a care home with dementia and used to be in contact weekly which has changed as well.

I've encouraged joining in with others e.g. at her church but apparently they are all busybodies / cliquey so not getting far with that one!

I tend to just listen and try to not let it all get me down! And take her out somewhere nice for tea and cake!

I relate to this, grew up with parents which some personality problems / mental health and it was difficult, it does cloud how you see things going forward.

I seemed to attract user types when I had children and that has out me off a but too. I am still kind to people but wary.

I think you've hit on something here, when you are coming to people on a level, as in you're seen as 'equal' then you're probably more likely to be treated with a bit of respect and cooperation but when people feel like they have a bit of 'ownership' of you, like they are paying for a service you deliver, the dynamic shifts a bit.

It's not just the worker/customer dynamic that works that way, you can be seen as unequal by some because of many reasons, gender, appearance, financial status, either perceived or real, disability.

I think maybe the people who are seeing the good people around them are coming into the situations on an equal footing, or from the elevated position and therefore they already 'own' the situation, when you're the one that's not perceived as equal, it's a completely different experience.

They do fade, we get more like men. I think it’s a biological fact from what I’ve read. Oestrogen keeps us more docile for want of a better word so we look after babies and don’t abandon them when we have had no sleep for a week.

I think it depends where you are. In the town I was born in which is full of men who don’t work and who like a bit of domestic violence, they don’t get out of the way and are genuinely baffled when you don’t get out of their way. Where I live now, it’s very much like you describe, it’s far more middle class and agree it’s groups of women and older men who don’t I mean sixties but then I think the women perhaps they are sick of getting out of the way. Near me groups of kids always get out of the way.

But I do agree you find what you look for so if you think people are hostile you will see it more. It’s like when you may say hello or smile and someone ignores you, you can think ill of them but you do not know what is going on. A colleague was once like that, I said hello and they didn’t reply. Found out later that at the time they had a child dying in hospital ,

Nah i'm the opposite, i think most people are ok

Not at all. I am in my 50s and like good company and good conversation. My life would be much the poorer without other people in it.

I can see how, if someone had lived through some traumatic experiences at the hands of other people, it would make them very wary. But if that's not the case, it just makes them rather grumpy and unpleasant so no wonder others don't warm to them.

@Maverickess

I think you've hit on something here, when you are coming to people on a level, as in you're seen as 'equal' then you're probably more likely to be treated with a bit of respect and cooperation but when people feel like they have a bit of 'ownership' of you, like they are paying for a service you deliver, the dynamic shifts a bit.

I agree.

This is why being a people pleaser is such a damaging strategy and way of life. You predispose people to feel that you are unworthy of respect.

In some situations such as when you are an employee or when you work in a customer facing job this is unavoidable but when people replicate this in their personal lives they are setting themselves up to be undervalued and potentially abused.

So many women are socialised to believe they need to put their own needs last and expect some sort of quid pro quo but it never works like this. Making yourself supplicant to anyone is never going to cultivate respect.

YANBU. If you've worked with the public in the last 5 years, you will hate people.
I had to actually leave my profession as I just couldn't tolerate the entitled, rude and demanding clients anymore.

I now work from home, alone, and I bloody love it. The only people I see are those I want to see.

But clients are not representative of the wider community.

I also work in a client facing role and find many of them exasperating but that is a relationship based on money.

People should be able to separate business relationships from commercial ones. If anything the need to deal with clients puts even more of a premium on genuine relationships where there’s no commercial dynamic.

Haha I’ve felt like this my whole life! I hide it well though! People ask if I get lonely - not one iota!

Your logic doesn't hold up. We're talking about interpersonal relationships, surely, not an endemic idealogy.

I’m 39 and I’ve felt like this my whole life. To be fair I’ve had some rotten people in my life up to now. At present I only have good people around me which I’m thankful for. But so many people are rude and entitled and it’s only getting worse.

I work in a customer facing role and it has made me really dislike people. Oh, I'll be polite to them at work but in general I now feel that most people I meet are rude, entitled and actually really boring.

I like my own clan, and I have a few great friends. Otherwise I now go about my days off avoiding eye contact with people and just minding my own business until I get home.

I'm in my 70s and really hope I don't become jaded with people. I'm happy in my own company, but at ease with others. I have come to realise that as you get older you will reach a point where you may well need to rely on others. Believing people are dickheads in general is not going to help you much if you need others later on.

I'm 35 and I can't stand most people I've felt like this for a very long time lol. Im very introverted and only love the company of my family, I get asked if I feel lonely without having a best friend or friends in general and honestly no I love going home from work, getting cozy and gaming/spending games night with my family.

Nah, I’m in my early 40s and this hasn’t happened to me at all. I really like lots of people and I think that’s why I enjoy life - people out and about are mostly really lovely to me and I always appreciate that and feel lucky. 🍀 I don’t think being miserable and looking down on people is a great way to act in a community, we all need to look out for one another.

I like a small number of people. Most people irritate me. I’m an introvert and relish time alone/ with the few people I am totally relaxed with. Age def a factor - feel content

Your views are very interesting
God Bless You
I think it takes great confidence & self assurance to be's you've described yourself
It seems you just really enjoy your own company, which is different from disliking folks
The only thing which would worry me, is my dear Mum always brought up my Brother & I with the belief, No Man's An Island Kind of always presumed we all need some friends - However, She also firmly expressed You're Better To Be Lonesome Than Have Bad Company - which most surely, I've found to be so true
So I believe it's all about balance
Wishing you the utmost very best

@JNicholson

So if most African-Americans in the pre-civil rights period disliked most of the people in their society, who wanted to deny them full civil rights as human beings, is that a sign of something quite sad within themselves? Or a sign of something quite sad outside of themselves?

But that’s an entire group of people with a very legitimate grievance because they were enslaved and forced to live without proper democratic rights for a century and still have poorer outcomes now.

You can hardly compare that to professional misanthropes who don’t like to open the door to strangers and “hate people” (generically) without any societal context.