RSV season warning in family chat

[AutumnIsHereAnd]

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

To be fair if my ds catches something it can be deadly so I am the same and dont like family members kissing him.

Presumably that’s because he’s immunocompromised and your family is aware of that fact? Neither boy is immunocompromised, and I find the entire thing a bit bizarre.

Every time my son got a cold he ended up in a&e /hospital stay until he was about 10.

It's horrible worrying every time they get ill.
I am not surprised she's anxious

My son wasn't immunocompromised he just had asthma

I have never wanted to kiss anyone's kid, but why would anyone want to kiss kids who are always ill? 🤢

So he had a medical condition? Neither of my nephews do, and they’re never unwell to the point they’re in A&E

No no immunocompromised, he has type one diabetes.
maybe the parents dont fancy getting sick?

Your SIL sounds like a bundle of laughs. Some people just can't cope with the idea of any sort of illness. RSV is the common cold.

I didn’t know that!

Maybe I’ll send a warning back saying that I won’t be seeing them now until April because they’re always giving me colds!

The youngest especially can still get upset, especially around nap times etc. I give him a kiss and a cuddle to calm him down, because surely that’s just the loving thing to do? Obviously it’s not a snog on the lips, but on the forehead or cheek.

Her kids are going to get ‘RSV’ - which is a cold - simply by leaving the house and being in the vicinity of other kids, so she’s wasting her time. Unless her kids have a condition that means a cold will put them in A&E every time, she’s being paranoid and hyper-anxious.

They’d be better off keeping the boys off nursery then because they’re the ones who always get bugs! I find it quite funny to be honest, they’ve dropped them off to be babysat more than once with streaming colds, having not warned us first, but we can’t kiss them?!

She's bonkers but I have to say, the constant bugs that come with having a small child is the fucking worst.

Ever since my child started going to playgroups and socialising with his gross snotty little friends, the illnesses have been CONSTANT.

I dread winter. I might lose my mind next time he gets ill. Which is probably next week.

So she's probably just lost her mind already.

Oh in that bizarre twist, next time they ask you to babysit & they have a bug just say “no thanks, i dont fancy catching it.” Give her a taste of her own medicinex

Just don’t kiss them, it’s not hard not to kiss other peoples children?
My son was hospitalised with RSV due to a selfish relative deciding to kiss him when she had been asked not to. Not immunocompromised and no underlying health conditions. RSV can and does kill. If you love the child enough to be seeing them, surely you love them enough to want to minimise any risk to them?

I wouldn’t do what your SIL is, but is it really that difficult to go along with? You can still cuddle them, play with them, read to them etc, just not kiss them. My kids didn’t want kisses from anyone but mum and dad as they got to be older toddlers onwards anyway.

She sounds batshit. RSV can be dangerous for newborns and immunocompromised but to everyone else it’s just your run of the mill common cold. The type that her DC will have for most of winter if they’re in school/nursery which must be the 4YO even if the toddler is still at home. I’d be including to call her bluff and next time she asks you to babysit but they’ve got even the slightest of sniffles say no because RSV and be all panicked.

Her children, her parenting decisions at the end of the day, and not really any of your business. You might make different choices for your own but it’s important to respect other people’s choices.
If it’s important to her you need to respect that, the way you’d expect something important to you to be respected.
Also don’t forget to have compassion, her choices are informed by her own personal experiences. Maybe she’s had a friend who’s had a very poorly child from RSV (there’s a reason pregnant women are vaccinated now, it can be very serious). One of my friends had a baby born who needed a stay in NICU for his breathing at birth and she’s obviously more sensitive about things like kissing as a result. I respect that. It was a traumatic time for her. My point is, be kind and don’t judge. You don’t know what’s informing her decisions and they could be very valid.
I also can’t imagine getting so het up about such a non-issue to go SIL bashing on the internet. Is this really about the no-kissing rule or do you just not like her?

I just find it massively hypocritical when she is happy to send them to me when they’re poorly!

They’re both in nursery, both very hardy and bounce back from any cold quickly which is why I just don’t get it!

RSV is not the same as the common cold, although mild RSV looks similar. A friends child was in ICU with RSV a few years ago, they’re now vaccinating pregnant women against it as it can be so serious for small kids, my DC was in the vaccine trial. Valid to be careful about it if you can, of course it’s hard to avoid respiratory viruses but not kissing a toddler sounds fair enough

I get on with her really well, I just find this so strange. Fair enough if they were little but they’re both pretty old for this to suddenly be a rule!

4 is little.
My son was in ICU and nearly died from RSV when he was 4

And nearly all the children in ICU at that point (late October) were also desperately ill with RSV

4 is not that little though, is it?