RSV season warning in family chat

[AutumnIsHereAnd]

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

Well I wouldn't be babysitting anyone whose parents didn't trust me and my judgements.

I don’t think they’d roll out a vaccine (like the new RSV one) for the common cold. 🙄

No adult needs to kiss a child who isn't their child.

Rsv isn’t quite the common cold, it can cause a cold but also is slightly more possible to lead to pneumonia or respiratory issues than just a cold. In young children and immunocompromised people it’s more dangerous. A doctor might test for rsv if you go into them with breathing issues alongside cold symptoms (I used to work in a hospital lab)

What a frustrating thread.

There is a lot of misinformation and lack of understanding on this thread, and an OP who insists she is right regardless.

I don't get the need to kiss other people's children either, even if they are related.

OP I was with you until you sent her a message to say you won’t be seeing them anymore. You are now as batshit as she is.

You're cutting off all contact with your nephews because no one wants you kissing them?
Seems more rational to just do what the parents have instructed.

OP is cutting off her nephews out of rage and spite.

I just find it to be utter bullshit. She has no issue with the kids at nursery, but does with family?!

Bonkers 🙄 if they're both in nursery, they're likely to pick up plenty of childhood illnesses there, not from a kiss on the cheek or forehead from a relative!

OP, you sound like hard work. SIL can be as (over)cautious as she likes, they are HER kids.

Do the kids at nursery insist on kissing each other?

nursery is germy so SIL is worrying and trying to control the deckchairs on the Titanic.

But it’d not be at all difficult to comply with her request, and would make virtually no difference to your interactions and hugs with your DNs.

I mean, one licked my nephew’s face the other day? So I’d say that’s worse

Of course it does. It starts with kisses, then no hugs, then no holding hands. If she was serious she’d take them out of nursery!

It's not.
Why are you so obsessed with kissing them?
Why can't you respect their parent's wishes?

Agree.

I love my nieces and nephews but don’t kiss them. I didn’t when they were babies or toddlers. I was happy to just hold them when they were that age and allow them to take me wherever they wanted to. I did other things to bond with them. Kissing isn’t mandatory to show love.

Yes. Nursery is germy and it's almost impossible to stop young children from spreading germs amongst each other. Taking children out of nursery and school would do far more to reduce their exposure. But that comes at a huge cost to most families - being at school and nursery has benefits for children and enables parents to work and see to other commitments.

But asking adults in the family not to kiss the children is simple. You, unlike other toddlers, are fully capable of understanding germ theory and controlling yourself. You are fully capable of showing affection and care without putting your mouth on their bodies. It may only help reduce risk a tiny bit or not at all, but it also has no real cost. Unless of course you decide to centre your own righteous indignation at being asked to make a tiny change and blow up the relationship.

If that happens, deal with it at that time. YABU about the kissing thing - that’s no problem to avoid

You’re giving off some heavy MIL vibes 😂

Its the latest and proper medical advice to avoid risk of death to very young children...so what's the problem?

This is current NHS policy and Lullaby Trust etc etc ..

My son was hospitalised for RSV aged 18 months. No medical issues or immunocompromised.

i think you’re ranting about something you don’t have full comprehension of OP

I mean she does sound a bit OTT but as someone who had RSV last winter and has genuinely never felt as poorly I can understand why she would want to avoid that happening to her very young children.

As a former NICU and PICU nurse, I dread RSV season. DREAD it.

RSV kills kids. It can leave them with long term respiratory issues. Sometimes the damage is permanent.

It's no joke.

I applaud SIL.