RSV season warning in family chat

[AutumnIsHereAnd]

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

Why do you need to kiss them?

Because I’m not some heartless cow that’s going to turn away her nephews when they want a hug and a kiss?

Sound like you have just saved your self a season of illness as they are more likely to pass stuff on!
I tend to go for a kiss on the top of the head with my niece and nephew

Ds first hospital admission was when he caught RSV. He was lucky to leave hospital at all.

Even if you believe she is being a bit OTT does it matter? What impact is it going to have on you really?

I'm not a 'heartless cow' either, but never felt the need to kiss other people's kids, even my nieces and nephews. Hugs were sufficient.

Like I say, maybe something has happened that you don’t know about. She’s not pulling this from nowhere, even if it’s something she’s seen or read somewhere. But conversely, not kissing them doesn’t really impact you in anyway does it?

Even those are banned. No forehead kisses, no cheek kisses, she’s even said nothing like blowing raspberries on them 🥴 it’s all a bit OTT.

It's not OTT.
Nobody needs to kiss a child, even to comfort them.
Perhaps you someone is kissing too much.

It absolutely is OTT, the boys are fine.

Until they aren’t.

It is not up to you to decide what's OTT for someone else's children. Your reaction is OTT though - you do not need to kiss the children!

I’d get it if this was a thing every year, but it’s sudden this year. I think that she’s being OTT, especially over a cold. It would be different if she was this hesitant when they’re poorly, but she’s happy for them to get me sick!

Is it really about the bugs or is there more to it?
Folk other than parents don't really need to be kisding kids - a hug is plenty (if child ok with that).

You are actually been given misinformation by that previous poster. It is considered serious for young children because it the main leading cause of bronchiolitis and pneumonia in young children. Not all children obviously get seriously ill but no one wants to be the parent of the child that does.

I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate here but when I say kiss it’s limited to the forehead or cheek. Stop trying to make it weird.

Then she should also stop letting her kids be around us when they’re sick? Or is that just not that important?

Whatever the reason and whatever you think about it, a child's parent has asked you not to do something that is not really any great hardship. So just do as she asks and stop mithering about it?

Yeah, I can't relate to wanting to kiss people's kids at all. Especially ones infected with viruses.
The RSV could be just a good excuse to stop people doing this.

Is that the only thing you could reply to the poster who shared this with you? Jesus christ.

Our normally very healthy eldest was also hospitalised age 3 with RSV requiring oxygen by nasal cannulas for several days, so agree with others that it can cause serious illness in kids even when they are not teeny tiny or immunocompromised. I wouldn’t go so far as asking relatives not to kiss the kids as I believe nursery is a much bigger risk of exposure but it’s not unreasonable for her to be concerned. Is it such a big deal not to kiss them when you can still hug etc? And fair enough to request you don’t blow raspberries at them - that seems even worse than kissing for spraying germs everywhere!

But dont let them in. Just as she parents her kids, parent yours. You can say no when they rock up. Just like she's telling you no kissing.

I’m obviously sorry for her experience but I don’t think it’s representative. Especially when they got colds a million times a year and are fine (and spread them around!£. If she kept her kids off nursery etc when they were sick I’d see where she’s coming from. But she doesn’t.

My DD got RSV at around age 14 months and couldn't breathe, ended up in hospital with bronchiolitis which resulted in asthma which still impacts her today. I think there is a fine line to walk between exposure to germs to build resistance (all children get sick IMO, the ones who haven't been exposed to a lot by school age spend the first year with constant illnesses), and vaccinate against illnesses. Your SIL can't pay for the RSV vaccine, but can for the flu for littles, so if she is that worried, she should do that if she can which maybe can alleviate the issue. In general, sure, no kissing if that makes her happy.

Then she also needs to stop sending them to me when they’re sick? It’s a two way street and given how little she cares for us, I find her request ridiculous.

RSV isn’t the same as the common cold. In most people it’s like a mild cold but it’s a different virus and it’s the cause of death of between 15 to 20 infants a year in the UK.