RSV season warning in family chat

[AutumnIsHereAnd]

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

I'm sorry but she literally wrote that her child nearly died in from rsv and your only response was "4 isn't that little"

And it is relevant. Rsv can seriously effect children up to 4 years old. Her child was 4. Your relatives children are very young. Just respect her wishes and dont have them over when they are sick.

It also puts over 30,000 under 5s in hospital every year.

At 4 and 15 months they are still of an age where they can be seriously affected by it, especially the 15 month old. They are ultimately her and her partners children and it is their choice, and their choices even if not agreed with needs to be respected. You can refuse to take them when they are poorly, that's entirely your choice.

I had a very very poorly baby with rsv but as soon as he was over 1 I wasnt as concerned - he licks everything he comes into contact with 🤷🏼‍♀️

Another bat shit "mother". What does her DH/DP have to say about this?

Ok fine, we can't see them for the rest of the winter. Don't expect any Christmas presents, or even contact from us then.
Silly girl. She will look back on this and be embarrassed in 10 years time.

He’s literally picked cat food out of the bowl before! It’s just baffling

He’s not said anything, yet.

Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a common cause of coughs and colds. It can lead to bronchiolitis which can be serious.
Advice nowadays is not to kiss babies unless you're the primary caregiver.
Perhaps your sil has been warned by the HV or GP and is a bit panicked.

That said, I would be saying yeah no worries but please dont send them around with a cough/cold so that germs arent circulating around tye family.

Fair enough both ways i think.

Course he hasn't. She clearly holds all the cards in that household.

I’ve sent a message to say that if this is how it’ll be, I’ll no longer be babysitting or seeing them

So your going to stop seeing them over not being able to give them a kiss and she is the one being OTT?

If she views me as such a biohazard, yes.

I wouldn’t be doing that! “Sorry, don’t want to catch their bugs!” is a very reasonable response regardless of her nonsense. Why can’t she look after her own sick kids??

Is the four year old at school? Or nursery? If so, they’re probably basically licking each other, so I don’t think a kiss on the top of the head from an adult is going to be the biggest source of bugs.

Are you a parent OP?

I'm inclined to agree with this.

What a sad way for them to live their lives, cutting off loving family.

Both kids in nursery. The youngest will pick anything. But yea, I’m the one who’s going to make them sick!

I'm not making anything weird.
Why do you need to kiss them?

Is she pregnant herself again?

Sounds like something has sparked anxiety off in her. Is she worried about their health or about having to take time off because they’re ill.
Shame you didn’t have a conversation about it rather than just flouncing.

Refusing to see your niece and nephew unless you're permitted to kiss them when you want is ridiculous and infantile.

Regardless of whether their mum is being overly cautious or not (and to be clear, RSV is not just a cold virus) her request is incredibly simple to adhere to and won't impact your relationship with the children or time together... unless you choose to throw a tantrum over it.

Who is cutting off loving family here? Asking people not to kiss young children certainly isn't the same as cutting off family.

Maybe a bit OTT from SIL, but having 2 that age that are ill (if one gets it the other is likely to), and juggling work is HELL, so can understand where she’s coming from.

I agree it’s a nightmare. But if you’ve got two children in nursery, an adult with reasonable hygiene and the ability to sensibly judge when they’re feeling ill and stay away accordingly is really not going to be even the tip of the iceberg in terms of causes of illness. And when that adult is the person you sending the children to when they’re ill, the passing of viruses is much more likely to be the other way round!

Unless there’s some history where the OP turned up at their house with d&v or something!

People take it too far. These aren't newborns or children with medical issues. It is ridiculous to tell family members they can't give affection on the off chance the child may catch something. Children stick their heads close to other children, climb on you and stick their face right next to yours, put toys other kids have slobbered on in their mouths, etc. You can't shield them from everything.

And stop trying to make kissing weird- it's not weird to kiss a related small child on the cheek/head, fgs.

In adults. DD was hospitalised for three weeks with it when she was 6 months old.