RSV season warning in family chat

[AutumnIsHereAnd]

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

But the NHS, based on EVIDENCE, ask us to take this precaution 🤦‍♀️💙

The advice from Doctors who fought to save children who've acquired both herpes and or RSV from adults is no kissing of young children. It is current NHS policy to protect young children (our infant mortality rates have stalled and are worse than other countries), it's not a trivial matter or about you ...its about protecting children and preventing unnecessary strain on the NHS 💙

The key here is NEW baby.

It’s not entirely ridiculous on its own for the SIL to make the request…but it’s double standards when they’re in the germ fest that is nursery

Key words being a new baby.

Not a toddler and a child.

Weird that you've taken this so personally. She’s feeling anxious about bug season coming around and so is doing what she realistically can to reduce it, nobody needs to kiss other peoples kids, but she presumably does need them go to nursery. You are punishing your nephews by cutting them off, if there’s a bad guy here it’s not their mum is it.

It's not double standards to ask adults not to kiss ypur children, that's parental choice, and it's a perfectly reasonable choice.

Her kids, her choice to be fair but I certainly wouldn't be doing any childcare or babysitting for her.

I'd suggest meeting up without the DC instead over the winter as wouldn't want to put them at risk of catching a cold etc. Her loss if she has to sit at home with them while the rest of you do something nice.

You wouldn't babysit because you were asked not to kiss the children? Really?

If you are acting as their carer in certain situations then her request is definitely more bonkers. If you're just a regular family member occasionally stopping by, I do understand it. And yes - people should keep their obviously sick children home - as said by a full time working mum to often plague ridden littles.

While still sending them to nursery it is. They’ll be getting way worse bugs there

I think it’s very odd that you’re taking this so personally and that you’re so dismissive of the many parents who’ve told you about horrendous experiences with RSV.

My DD has been hospitalised twice with it - once for several weeks, in PICU with machines breathing for her, and we had conversations about whether she was going to come home at all. She was over 1. I had it at the same time and felt quite grotty. Not critically ill. Because I’m an adult. Not a small child.

When RSV is bad it’s horrendous.

I do semi-regular babysitting for her. Probably four times a month in total.

Why do you say that when NHS advice is exactly what the Whatsapp message said about not kissing? Where are your studies on the impact of RSV on children and how to protect them? Why do you think you know better than senior medics? The sheer arrogance of thinking you are more important than the children's health

No, it isn't.
Going to nursery is important for their development and well being, as well as them being cared for.
Kissing is unnecessary.

RSV is the common cold… but it put my healthy child on life support after it gave him a pneumonia.

The stats

Because it’s utter fucking bollocks. The advice is for new babies. Not toddlers.

As a mum who’s daughter was hospitalised with RSV, struggling to breathe, despite being totally and completely healthy beforehand- YABU. Nobody needs their mouth anywhere near my child anyway & I’d far rather offend an adult with a boundary than ever have to watch my child battle for breath again.

Not for free, no.

If SIL wants to set terms & conditions (which she has every right to as they are her kids) then she needs to pay a baby sitter.

What is it about being asked not to kiss someone else’s child that’s making you so furious? If you were a man getting so mad about being asked not to kiss other peoples toddlers and everyone would be calling you a creep.

If you’re going to spout shite at least don’t embarrass yourself by getting it completely wrong and having not even bothered to do a quick google which would have told you- RSV can affect people of all ages but can be especially serious in infants & toddlers- particularly those under 2.

So yes, toddlers, not just new babies.

If you need to put your mouth on someone else’s child to settle them then it’s time for you to learn some new settling tips anyway!

You know they could catch that anywhere? And will definitely come into contact with the virus at nursery & school. You would have to isolate your child from all other children & all public places every winter.
Your kid will end up more at risk from the isolation & failure to develop socially than from the RSV.

Christ, I am so thankful my family/inlaws are nice

Why do you feel such a strong need to kiss them though? Theres no request not to hug, or any other demands one might deem silly.

She is simply doing what she can to practically minimise risk. People often don’t have much choice about nursery. Some of the responses here are really weird. Is it that weird to go a few months without kissing someone else’s child? Even if it is, that’s at the discretion of the parent and the parent only