New DP useless around the house

[HanhanRuns]

DP moved in with me in July - his first time living away from home. I feel like I have to micro manage what he does to help out in terms of chores/housework and it’s already starting to grate. Even basic stuff like the toilet seat and lack of aim - when I raise it he says he forgot and ‘he’s learning’.

Any tips for dealing with this? Other than sexual incentives or withdrawal of these services which seems to be the only advice I get from my friends and a couple of work colleagues!

He’s knows how to aim. He’s used a toilet before!

Throw him back.

Send him back to his Mummy.

Honestly, in my experience it's not going to get better no matter how much you manage him. Sadly you have to decide whether you can live with it or not

Why is he 'learning' - was he a 🐷 when he lived at home too?!

Have you pointed out that his lack of aim shows a complete disrespect for you?

How old is he?

Urgh how can you even look at him without the ick?!

Yes I have. He’s 28.

Tell him to move back out! Sounds like a total child

Learning to piss? How old is he?

If he's still learning how to piss properly then he's definitely far too young to be living with and having sex with a woman.

How old is he? If early 20s I'd read him the riot act and review on a monthly basis. If not, unless he makes enough money to employ a cleaner/housekeeper and is still willing to upgrade his filthy habits I'd bin him. "learning " my arse!!

Honestly, throw this one back. It’s not your job to house train a full grown adult. If he’s like this at the start it’ll only get worse, not better.

Sorry, cross post. 28? Get rid.

He honestly knows how to aim, he's just being lazy. Make him clean it up every single time, even if it's waking him in the night.

Tell him to start pulling his weight and to stop being a slob or move out. This won't improve and if you are resenting it now it will CRUSH you in 5 years time when you are still wiping his pee up in the toilet. I have a boyfriend living here who manages perfectly well not to piss on the seat so I have to wipe it. He also does laundry and other tasks un-prompted on the regular because he lives here....

God these threads are depressing. Chuck him back out. And find friends who give better advice. Honestly, men who are infantilised to the point of utter uselessness and women who think manipulation via sex is remotely normal or healthy, it’s pitiful.

How could you even consider wanting to shag a man who pisses on the toilet seat, which is bad enough, and doesn’t clean up? Was this inability of his to aim not apparent until he moved in?

Ugh. Sexual services to coax a man to respect you?
Even 5 year olds can figure out how to pee.
Bin him.

Not your job to house train this overgrown 7 year old. If he wanted to, he could easily google what he needs to do to pull his weight with household tasks and just step up and do it, no micromanaging needed. That he hasn’t bothered is just an indication he sees you as a shaggabble version of mummy, put on earth to facilitate his easy life.

Fuck sake! Send him packing!

Unless he's 10/10 in bed throw him back...

He cleans the toilets from now on. Regularly. You go in and inspect and he gets better at cleaning. If this doesn’t work I would dump him

Get rid of it.

He's showing you how he lives. The question is, do you want to:

a) Live like him?
b) Raise issues repeatedly in an attempt to train him up, which may never work?
c) Commit to cleaning up after him for the rest of your life, knowing that if you have children, he will never share cleaning duties equally?

If none of these, you need to get him to move out.

How old is your partner? First time living outside of home, suggests you're both young. He's been used to doing next to nothing at home, probably because his Mum did it all. You are going to have to spell it out to him - you aren't his Mum, you won't be running around after him and you expect him to do his fair share of the chores. I would suggest you give him specific chores, that are his responsibility. As for his aim - he's not 5, but a grown adult and if he pisses all over the floor, give him a cloth and a bottle of bathroom cleaner, and tell him to clean it up! Hopefully, with a bit of guidance, he will be OK. This is what happens when boys aren't given any responsibilities at home, they grow into incapable men, who can't boil an egg or clean a loo!! Don't put up with half arsed efforts though, give him a little time, but if nothing improves, send him back to Mum!!

Hopefully you are not engaging in any sexual relations with him as he clearly has the mental age of child…