New DP useless around the house

[HanhanRuns]

DP moved in with me in July - his first time living away from home. I feel like I have to micro manage what he does to help out in terms of chores/housework and it’s already starting to grate. Even basic stuff like the toilet seat and lack of aim - when I raise it he says he forgot and ‘he’s learning’.

Any tips for dealing with this? Other than sexual incentives or withdrawal of these services which seems to be the only advice I get from my friends and a couple of work colleagues!

So, presumably he thinks it's OK to wee everywhere at his parents' house?

I wouldn't put up with that. Kick him out and tell him he can come back when he's learned how to do housework and clean up after himself.

God girl just leave him

There are plenty of men out there who arent babies

He thinks your job is to clean up after him.

Make him your ‘old’ DP.
If he’s useless now (in the early days) it will only get so much worse.

Get rid.

28 and he doesn’t know how to wee? Has he explained what has happened up to now, has he just been getting his mum to wipe up his piss at nearly 30?
He doesn’t sound great partner material. It might be worth having one final conversation but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

I bet he didn't piss on his mammy's toilet seat.

He’s not your partner as he’s not putting in the effort to be equal to you or on your same level when it comes to thought and effort.

He's acting like a child and expecting you to be his mum, and that dynamic kills relationships.

He still has a lot of growing up to do and surely you want to be with a man who is a capable adult, not a boy who expects you to adult for him?

Send this one back.

He’s 28 and can’t aim for the toilet? Even if he struggles with that what’s so hard that he has to learn to clear the mess up? Anyone would know to clean it. He pisses all over and needs to learn it doesn’t just clear itself up? How does he think it gets cleaned?

Use his pillowcase to mop up the piss and put it back on his pillow?

I don't know, he is grown man, why doesn't he function like one.

Did you magically know how to clean up or did you teach yourself?

Send him home.

Get a puppy and housetrain that instead, at least they are cute and will eventually learn were to piss.

He's still learning to use a loo properly? Christ on a bike, send him back to his parents.

He will become a millstone around your neck before long…

Send him back to his parents and tell him to come back when he's house trained.

He’s learning how to piss in a toilet ! Raise the bar op and send him back to Mummy.

It will get worse you will keep resenting him it's either you live separately or the relationship ends

It's probably illegal to have sex with someone who doesn't have the mental capacity to live as a clean adult. So stop that, and send him home to learn the life skills that he should have learned as a small boy.

If you absolutely insist on trying and not sending him back to mum, I'd sit him down and say 'you know how if you got a new job, you'd want to do well at it so you'd research what you need to do, and take notes if you needed to, like if you werent good at remembering what needs to be done, and you'd practice what you need to do, and you wouldn't want your colleagues to be taking on extra just because you are new? - do that, because it's important. If you aren't good at a new job, you lose the job, if you aren't good at being a partner then you lose the partner'

Back home to mum for this one OP

Dump him. Tell him to come back when he's house trained.

It’s not your job to teach him, remind him or tell him what to do to be a functional
adult.
tell him to move out and you can discuss living together again at later date.

bit he moves straight home to his parents to then I’d just dump him, he’s not prepared to be a responsible single adult and in years to come he’ll be saying “but I didn’t know the kids uniform needed washing, you didn’t tell me to do it”

Having to use sexual bribery to get someone to not piss everywhere, that's pretty grim all round isn't it. Life's too short for this nonsense

A 28 year old doesnt know how to use the toilet properly? Grim.

I laughed but yep, you literally found him under his mum's skirt. You're mummy with sex, which is grim.