Not offering seats for pregnant women

[Pregnantgrumps]

I’m pregnant for the first time and have been really shocked and disappointed in people’s failure to offer seats on public transport / waiting rooms / platforms / you name it.

Is this just a phenomenon in my local area or everywhere now?

At first from about 5 months pregnant I joked about it to DP and family and friends: how pregnant do you have to be before people offer you a seat?? But I’m now 40 WEEKS pregnant and not laughing anymore.

Basically I’ve discovered the only chance of being offered a seat is if there’s a woman sitting who has been pregnant herself. If it’s all young people or men you can forget it.

Yesterday I was literally having to weigh up do I get off the train and wait for another that might have seats or do I say something and try and shame people into getting up. Because I can no longer stand for the full journey to the hospital / midwives.

I appreciate maybe there’s some people who carry their pregnancy weight in such a way that it’s ambiguous but I literally look like I’m shoplifting a melon here.

"Shame people into getting up"?! You chose to get pregnant that's not on society. I assume those people you want to shame paid for their seats. How do you know they don't have a hidden disability or just plain exhausted?

Well maybe none of us should bother getting pregnant anymore then 👍

Nothing new. 22 years ago I had to sit on the floor at a major railway station. My train was delayed and nobody was willing to get up from the benches on the platform. I was 8 months pregnant and it was summer so no big coat to hide my bump. I was too shy to ask anyone to move.

Pregnancy isn't an illness.
It's not a given that a pregnant person automatically needs a seat more than a random other person.
Ask, if you really need a seat - 'would anyone mind giving me a seat please, I'm struggling a bit here?'

I’ve generally found that I’ve been offered a seat on most journeys whilst wearing my baby on board badge. If I haven’t immediately it’s been because people weren’t paying attention and they have apologised.

I do think in London especially people look out for the badges and are maybe hesitant to offer if you aren’t wearing one.

Anyone can order a free badge from TFL. I wore mine when I travelled on national trains as well if I felt I needed it.

You're pregnant not sick 🙄
And yes, I've had 2 children.....would never have expected someone to give up a seat for me because I chose to get pregnant!

Thank you for your understanding…

But regardless of your views, the transportation network where I am disagrees with you on who has a priority for seats as pregnant women are specifically listed.

There have also been some very sad stories shared on this thread by other posters who fell while standing on public transport and their unborn babies were affected.

But people are looking at their phones not you! Just ask don’t stand there like a lemon. Why would that be shaming?

I would always offer a pregnant woman my seat. I am wondering if people want to offer you their seats but are afraid to say something in case you are just overweight and they would feel embarrassed if you said that you are not pregnant.

I noticed this too. There's something wrong in our society. I don't know where it happened, but we have lost out way as a community.

Say something, wear a badge- lots of people just won't notice. It's really not a problem

You don’t need to shame anyone into giving up their seat for you, just politely ask. I’ve cancer in my pelvis and on chemo; the pain can be excruciating. However, if you ask, I would give up my seat and take a squirt of morphine at the same time!) 😊

Pregnancy is not always a choice

I've offered my seat to heavily pregnant women many times in the past - and every time I had my head bitten off!

Usually along the lines of "I'm pregnant, not disabled" with dirty looks, so I don't offer anymore, it's mortifying.

I'd be very happy to give my seat to anyone that asked, though.

Please just say you're pregnant and ask.

I wouldn't offer to a woman without a badge.

I've been offered a seat before, and it's the most humiliating thing ever. You either pretend to be pregnant and get off at the next stop in a desperate attempt to hide their mistake, or you say, I'm not actually pregnant, just fat.

Either way, it's a day that ends in tears.

If you're actually pregnant, speak up. Or people have to guess, and us fatties have to cry.

IME young people were good at offering me their seats. The worst were white men over 40.