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Original poster

Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

605 replies

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 17:45

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 10/09/2025 18:39

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 17:45

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

He is simply the pits. Have nothing more to do with him.

OneKhakiFish · 10/09/2025 18:39

Silence is your best communication to him, block and ignore

GRCP · 10/09/2025 18:41

You are just miles too good for him. I hope the next one is in your league OP. Block and forget.

Motherofalittledragon · 10/09/2025 18:41

Chuck him back, the absolute waste of time.

Katheclepto · 10/09/2025 18:42

I’d have got the ick the first time he said it! So immature and weird! What is his job btw?! Something special I’d hope?!

Rosiestraws · 10/09/2025 18:42

DancingFerret · 10/09/2025 18:20

He doesn't sound the brightest; I'd just ignore, block and move on.

Was there no hint as to his immaturity in the conversations you had before actually meeting him?

Yes, OP, without wanting to "victim blame", I'm intrigued also as to how this idiot even made it onto a date with you?! Especially if you chatted for a few weeks before? I assume you had on your profile (or it came up in convo before) that you're a Dr before the date? It's strange that he didnt ask what type before as that would definitely be something I would ask. That's the natural q that comes to mind when showing interest in a profession like that. Perhaps his lack of interest before the date could indicate that he was going to be an idiot and not respect you/the job? I have a professional job and I actually think I've never not been asked "what type of X are you? or what area of X do you work in?"

Just thinking if there are any things looking back on that were red/amber flags, then maybe you will be able to avoid it in future!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 10/09/2025 18:42

I wouldn't be able to help myself.

'Referring to someone that works with children as a child abuser is offensive. I suggest dating someone down on your level next time. Leave the professionals for the intelligent men on the app.'

Itiswhysofew · 10/09/2025 18:43

Bloody awful. Tell him what you think of him. I would.

JHound · 10/09/2025 18:43

He wants to humble you likely because he feels intimidated by your job.

Ditch him.

Autumn38 · 10/09/2025 18:45

Just reply ‘look this is super awkward but I think you got my job title mixed up with a different term. I didn’t want to correct you on the date as I didn’t want to embarrass you but I think we are probably just not suited, intellectually speaking. All the best though’.

mylefthand · 10/09/2025 18:45

Earlier this year I went on a date with a guy who repeatedly told me Covid was fake, it wasn’t a real thing and there was absolutely no reason for lockdowns!!
I work frontline for the NHS! This angered me immensely!
As soon as he mentioned he voted leave in Brexit I was done!
Messaged him the next day so say not interested and then blocked him!

You can’t argue with stupid!

Think yourself lucky he has shown his true self on the first date. Dodged a bullet there.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 10/09/2025 18:46

On the plus side, it's 'great' that he's revealed himself to you as he is on the first date so you won't be wasting any further time on him.

FWIW - I wouldn't bother giving the supercilious feedback some posters have suggested .

In an ideal world, I would like to have imagined I would have said something to the guy while on the actual date and cut it short (but the reality is that I almost certainly wouldn't have done so)

ForNoisyCat · 10/09/2025 18:46

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 17:45

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

hecsounds awful! If that’s his best , lord knows what his worst behaviour is like. Don’t waste a second with him!

LynetteScavo · 10/09/2025 18:46

Bloody hell, block and ignore! I can’t believe you actually continued the conversation after the first time he called you a “pedo”. It sounds like the storyline of a film, where a 12yo swaps bodies with their dad.

NamelessNancy · 10/09/2025 18:47

His opinion of himself will be far too robust to be even slightly impacted by any feedback at all.

SuperGinger · 10/09/2025 18:47

He sounds rubbish.

We went out to the pub on Saturday night and there was a couple at the next table on a date, it was seriously cringey. The woman was ghastly and totally overdressed, she was monumentally rude. I felt so sorry for the bloke.

Thegreyhound · 10/09/2025 18:48

Oh my god no to a second date! The man is an idiot, clearly.

Yellowview · 10/09/2025 18:48

Some men can’t cope with woman being better educated or in better careers than themselves. There is decent ones out there I’m sorry this happened.

Lokde · 10/09/2025 18:48

I went on a date recently where I accidentally misspoke when ordering. A very nothing moment. My date then proceeded to shoehorn the misspoken word in at every given opportunity. He must have said it at least 10x. Tbh half the time it made absolutely no sense. I pity laughed at first and then just recoiled. No idea what he was thinking. Both late 20s.

I think a lot of guys grew up when having “bantz” was the pinnacle of cool. That’s my theory.

Newsenmum · 10/09/2025 18:48

This is actually creepy of him.

Daughterofthesea · 10/09/2025 18:48

I’d have got the ick the instant he first made the crass remark and I would have walked out of the date and told him never to contact me again, but I have boundaries of steel and zero tolerance to any disrespectful or negging behaviour from men.

Bigneonsign · 10/09/2025 18:49

Talking over text for two to three weeks prior to the date and your job didn't come up? Yeah right.

PumpkinSeasonOctober · 10/09/2025 18:49

He sounds very jealous and intimidated by a successful woman. I am shocked you stayed.

Newsenmum · 10/09/2025 18:49

LynetteScavo · 10/09/2025 18:46

Bloody hell, block and ignore! I can’t believe you actually continued the conversation after the first time he called you a “pedo”. It sounds like the storyline of a film, where a 12yo swaps bodies with their dad.

Omg yes!

also love your name

Flinderskleepers · 10/09/2025 18:50

I work in paeds as well. It's had a couple of sniggers in the past. Some men just get very nervous when you say it. Perhaps they have something to hide.

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