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AIBU?

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Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

605 replies

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 17:45

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

OP posts:
BeHappy650 · 13/10/2025 19:19

That's not a petty reason to post at all. You're entirely justified in being angry.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who like to trivialize other people's academic achievements because they have not been able to obtain that professional standard themselves.

I imagine the issue here as that he is intimidated by your success and is trying to demean you to make himself feel better. What he is effectively doing is deflecting and gaslighting and I imagine insecure masculinity is coming into play as welll.

You are a woman, a highly qualified Doctor, very successful and I imagine he finds that threatening. What better way to combat a threat through passive put downs and demeaning references....

Don't let this idiot knock your confidence - that's likely what he was trying to do. Block his number, never meet him again and find someone who will pull you up and not bring you down. Any man worth his salt would never treat the lady in their life in such a belittling way !

Elphabaa · 13/10/2025 23:24

Ah congratulations on your new dog, what a better choice companion!

The date sounds vile, you were lucky to see his true colours so early on.

Have a fabulous life!

HRTQueen · 14/10/2025 00:22

What a horrible pathetic toad of a man he is so glad you realised quickly. These men do really annoy me who the fuck do they think they are

dogs are better company than men and I say this as a cat woman 😊

Greenmouldycheese · 14/10/2025 00:23

He's a creepy man. I really wouldn't find that funny and ghost him.

StillAliveAndKicking · 14/10/2025 17:27

I'm so sorry that you had to thru that. What a complete moron he is. My advice (having dated a few idiots b4 remarrying) is to block and move on. You will laugh about what a moron he is eventually but he's too thick and immature to understand that he wasn't building rapport or connection he was just bring a dick. He wont get it even if you tell him so just.... dont! Think back to the boys who pushed you in the stinging nettles at school... that's him just a bit older.

Have you considered any intros from friends who know you well. I'm certain that a connection of shared values and outlook on life is a useful starter when meeting new people.

Keep calm Mrs, he's made room for Mr Right to show up soon so don't be mad that he's wasted your time, just confirming you don't want a plonker.

Good luck xxx

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