Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

[brackenbury]

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

Agree with first post, “You’re fixated with the letter P. Here’s a phrase starting with it : Piss off”.
Then block, delete, ignore.

set your bar higher. If you meet someone like him again, just walk out.

Tell him it exactly as it is - you do not have to sanitise it for his feelings. And then block and forget about it.

Jokes of that nature are just not funny and would put me off.

Had he had a few drinks?

He is so insecure about his own job/status in life that the only way he could handle someone with a better job than him (and a woman at that!) Is to undermine. And then blame YOU for not laughing at his hilarious jokes.
Not a nice person.
Don't waste any more time on him.

I have such bad ick reading this. How distasteful.

I like the P off response best.

Thick as mince and clearly utterly charmless to boot.

block him

Sounds like he felt insecure and had to lower your self esteem to increase his sense of worth

@brackenbury Ugh, poor you OP - just reading about your date has made my teeth itch!
As tempting as I'd find it to reply "Why on earth do you think I'd want to endure a second date with someone who's too thick to understand the difference between a paediatrician and a paedophile?" I would actually simply block him - silence often speaks volumes.
Better luck with the next one OP - chin up and power on! 🤗

So sorry. Block him and move on, you do not need people like this in your life.

Interesting that paedophilia was his first thought.

I like to think i’d be out of there as soon as he conflated paediatrician with paedophile, firstly because he’s stupid or ignorant and second because he doubled down and was rude and nasty with it.
Tosser.

Life is too short to give men like this a second chance. You're a Dr, specialising in Paediatrics, so therefore you are academic. Unfortunately, some men don't like clever women in specialist careers, it makes them feel inadequate. He felt inferior to you, so therefore wanted to make himself feel better by belittling your job. I wouldn't go on another date with him, I'd throw this one back.

My only question is why you didn't end the date sooner. You refer to the 'rest of the evening- ... why did you allow it to go on so long?

You deal with difficult characters all day i presume? It would have been a perfectly legitimate to just leave. I dont know why you stayed. Dont waste your energy responding to him. But maybe ask yourself why you've given him so much headspace.

Absolutely this....

Just ignore /block...don't get into a debate... He'll probably accuse you of ' no sense of humour'.

These arses waste our time.... I'm sure there is SOME woman out there for him, that find the paediatrician /paedophile comments hysterical.... A very dim, tiresome woman!

Id have left within minutes of the first paedophile reference.

Did you report this to HR? That is disgusting

@Screamingabdabz " ... I feel there is a whole bunch of men out there who really need a cold bucket of reality chucked over them." Or a cold bucket of sick!

He sounds thick as pig shit without two brain cells to rub together, it's something a 12 year old would say....

Ok, what’s the story here, why so much angst, you met a dickhead, he showed he was a dickhead, the guy wasn’t crapping all over your work, he doesn’t know you, and no 3 weeks online texting isn’t knowing someone, he was just a dickhead thinking he was funny and as he felt threatened. So block and move on. Or text him and tell him he’s a dickhead, then block and move on.

personally if I got a text asking for a second date in this scenario, I’d simply send lol, you can’t be serious. And then block him.

Nail on the head. Block the turd and forget him.

Exactly this.

And it's not your responsibility to educate a 40-something man on anything, let alone basic respect and adult communication.

What would be awful for me about is that fact that you talked to him for a few weeks prior and he seems perfectly fine then all of a sudden turned out to be a complete asshole because you’d clearly taken a bit of time to sound him out first and he managed to hide it.. OP I totally get why that’s even worse … I’m scared to even look out there these days never mind actually try. What a moron. The way I feel these days I’d be sorely tempted to tell him why I didn’t want to see him again. But he sounds like he’s just turn it back on you.

He was trying to belittle your job, he feels threatened by it probably. I’d tell him and then never see him again

@brackenbury you are right not to see him again. This is him on a first date, on his best behaviour, joking about you having a sexual interest in children. That’s absolutely disgusting behaviour. I’m thinking, don’t tell him that’s why you aren’t interested as he will hide that part of himself from his next date. Maybe just say you weren’t attracted to him. Which is probably true after that! Try burned haystack dating method x

Good God what an utter a-hole!

I’m so sorry you had to demean yourself by spending time with this idiot.

I would advise not seeing him again. There are good guys out there, or at least ones on your level.